How do you persue women?

if someone speaks spanish

https://i.filehostingsite/B4HyvNs/imagen-2022-08-19-170529604.png

please don't make a fool of yourself doing this on the megaphone

p.s: currently married to a friend from Israel, we are adults and don't act like immature children

 

yikes that mega is desperate

 

that literally works sometimes if girls do it to guys, and they do do it lol...

 

Give her money. Works everytime

 

My tinder profile said im into vampire role play. That seemed to work, we're going on together almost four years strong now.

 

Interesting topic. This is from a happily married guy who has had 2 long term relationships and many shorter ones. I've dated both in the east and west.

1. (outward facing) Be your self and relaxed. Don't be too serious all the time and enjoy life! This actually comes off as attractive and less intimidating.

2. (inward facing) be an absolute monster in what ever career or business endevours you choose. Find something you're passionate in/enjoy and crush it. Make money, be clean, smell good (breath and body), dress tidy and keep up at the gym. Be a absolute boss but don't boast.

3. Be respectful of the people around you and to the person that interests you. Kindness is hot but don't be a pushover.

After about 15 years of dating I summarized it like this. Be the best version of your self and plenty of people will find you attractive !

 

Good question.

My only relationship was with a girl I played among us with (not including flings and etc).
She made the first move and we were together for couple of months.
Then she went imposter mode - dumped me and started dating a different guy like a week later lul

Girls are scary.
Gaming can't dump you so.. I prefer working and then just play MR / LoL / Valorant most of the time.

 

A lot of the advice I'm seeing here is what has lead to the last couple decades being the loneliest and most isolated. For one reason or another people aren't dating, aren't intimate with each other, etc. If you ask me, the problem is the internet. It was supposed to bring us closer together but has radicalized us against each other more than ever. Anyone can post anything here and they're free to spew hate and trash opinions, but if you actually go outside where the real ones are, it's never as bad as it is on the webs. Social media was a mistake, change my mind. XD

 

Ask Gardian, he's the expert here 100%

 

I can cosplay as an E-Girl for you rn Pancako

 

It's all just a different era now.
At the same time as it is easy to get with someone, it's just as easy to ghost them and move on.

Normally, there even used to be songs where you could find love in the most unlikely of places, however that doesn't exist anymore.

Today, it feels like everything follows guidelines and rules more rigidly. And this isn't new, this used to exist in the past, people would get dating advice of what to do to the letter in magazines.

In having such narrow views of literally following a guide, many miss opportunities of happiness that is just within their fingertips.

 

Daily reminder for men to "just bee urself" and you'll filter out at least 90% of women who will waste your time. Being your genuine, true self is important for catching the right woman's eye, because she'll most likely be compatible with and attracted to the real (real) you. That said, she may not be the right one for you, and that's why you have to take it slow, chat, go on a few dates, and never jump into a "situationship".
I attract niche women without trying, but I still haven't found one who's willing to take things slow, is of the same faith (and willing to uphold it), or ready to change for the better. I'm not perfect, farrrrrrrrrr from decent, but I've made strides over the past 3 years to better myself (physically and socially), and, over the past year, I've started to appreciate women who may not match who I'm looking for, but are honest and mature.
I'll spare my preaching, but a person with a muddy past can still be redeemed, if they're mature, self-aware, and willing enough to change. Sometimes you have to be Bob the Builder. Sometimes it's not enough. It's important to set expectations, but to then not be too disappointed if it doesn't work out. You both have to be able to communicate like adults. Say "no" when you need to. Make sure they can respect your "no".
Ladies, the same applies to you; you will find men who are prone to lying, can't communicate properly, can't clean their ass properly after pooping, can't grind wolf spiders because the colors make them physically sick (hi), and worse (not TOO worse though- things like cheating are too irredeemable for my tastes). You need to BEE urself, and you'll find the right man. Maybe you'll need to make the first move. Maybe you need to tell him 3 times a week to stop leaving him gym clothes on the floor. Maybe you need to tell him to actually go to the gym. Maybe you need to tell him to stop playing H-games in front of your parents with the volume all the way up. Maybe you need to be patient. Maybe you need to stop asking him if he'd still like you if you were a worm. Maybe YOU need to start thinking about the Roman empire on a daily basis. We all have quirks; it's okay (not the H-game one though he needs to stOP NYOW).
I've only had one "official" relationship, and I've lost track of how many different women I've dated/taken on dates (definitely less than 40). Only 3 were mature enough that I could work with, but none of it worked out, sadly. One thing is apparant in my Chris Chan lovequest saga- bee-ing myself works, and I know it works for everyone else, so I know it'll work for you (the king/queen reading this (subscribe to my blog)).

tl;dr JUST /BEE/ URSELF MY MAN

also I LOVE BPDEMON FUJO WOMEN SO MUCH HEYYYYYY-YYYYY HIIIIIIII-IIIIIIII BUT I CAN'T FIND ONE WITH AN OUNCE OF SELF RESPECT OR MATURITY REEEEEEE

 

I just love how people have been responding to this thread for almost a decade LMAO
Anyways, focus on your purpose and the rest will follow. I'm sure you found a partner by now but if not don't give up!

 

The "just be yourself" advice is not meant to be a negative obviously, I get that. But it feels like a pretty pointless advice to me.

If being yourself is good enough to get someone interested in you, then you don't really need advice, do you?
If being yourself is not helping you pursue a woman, then "be yourself" is a pretty useless advice.

 

I think the "just be yourself" is a pretty solid advice, at the very least it leads to you at least enjoying yourself. I think people are most attractive when they are doing something they truly like or are really passionate about. Now obviously in some cases, the interest leads you to meeting more people than others. For example, if you're really passionate about sports, that's probably more likely to allow you to meet new people than say...bird watching. Though if you were to turn this hobby into a blog, insta, any other form of social media, one day someone will notice. I think a good portion of us here would know about the youtube channel outdoor boys. That kind of interest is extremely solitary, but if the dude was not married with kids, I would say he would be a fine character to meet and chat to.

I met my current gf through badminton, which I am very passionate about. She was a new club owner and at first I just played an barely talked to anyone. In fact, she's told me many times she was scared to play with me due to how unfriendly I looked despite never blaming any beginner players for their mistakes (I am able to spar with state level players). After dating and talking about guys in her club, this is something I am sure of:
1. Don't drop edgy/unusual comments - girls smell neediness from miles away, you're better than that. ironically, talking to girls like they are simply your male colleagues/acquaintances really helps, not close enough to make somewhat inappropriate jokes, but bantery enough to throw in a few humorous lines here and there. Less is more
2. Be a decent person - this includes doing them small favors without expecting anything back. If they ask you to help grab something from the bench for example, that fine, don't try to make this into an excuse to do more (you'd be surprised how many people do this). But if small favors turn into big ones, then potential signs of interest can be explored. eg. my gf asked if I wanted to play a particular social club. The first time I said no because I had training and had a regular social, but offered her another option. It wasn't long before she asked if I wanted to go eat in a group after badminton. I turned that down because I didn't have time for long group discussions about topics that don't matter late into the night. The second time she asked me, I asked whether it is with her or the group again. I made it clear if it is just the two of us, I have time for that, otherwise no. We had our first date that Friday. Anyways, I think being a decent person is very different to sucking up to a person. Certainly at the stage where no one is fully committed and just getting to know each other, it is fine to reject an offer, but whether it is a hard no and a soft no depends on whether the rejecting party offers another time, or if things still feels fine.
3. know when to stop - I personally think that when chatting to girls, less is more. At any given moment, you probably won't need to worry about anything other than whether she is willing to chat to you, or whether you think you'd still get her out to coffee or some sort of activity. You can infinitely move between the two stages until one of you is attached. It is useful to note here that chatting is very different to being talked to or lack of better word, interviewed. If there is a fairly good amount of back and forth, then you're doing well. From there, any one thing could lead to a potential date or opportunity to get to know each other a bit more. This could be something you both enjoy doing, a restaurant you happened to have both went to. It could even be something like you doing and you just want to share that experience. You just have to bring that energy to her as well. "Every weekend I like playing at my local Yu Gi Oh tournament." is a lot more bland of a response to "I spend my Saturday evenings playing this children's card game. So any time you want to see a grown ass man get whooped by a primary kid, you know my number". The conversation could end there, or it could end with her watching you get owned by a kid. But it doesn't matter, if she comes, then you be yourself and if she's bored out of her mind "I treat you to a bite and call it even?". If the conversation ends there, doesn't matter, just move on and nothing changes next time you guys chat. Until the conversation becomes you ask question, she gives a short answer, there is a chance it could go somewhere in the future (although I wouldn't recommend going all in and coming off too strong).

To all the guys, and gals out there, I would say just be brave and go for it sometimes. If you get rejected, it's gonna sting just a little. But I am also certain, once you go home and do your dailies, rip that cs from shrine and ws from nlc, you're not gonna give 2 shits about someone rejecting you. Eventually, it's gonna be something you have a light joke about over a cold beer. Meeting people, not just girls, is very much like your first zakum prequest. Some of us are just gonna be naturally good at this and it catches on quicker, I certainly wasn't one of those. But what I do know is, no matter what your first clearance time was, after a few times, we all have the potential to consistently clear that thing in under 20. And you know what? What if you just can't do it, you just can't finish that JQ. You can pierre, scargar, zakum alternative your way through. Life is the same, you will find people you aren't gonna get along with, and people you would wake up in the middle of the night for. Any girl is merely another one of those people, it is just you aren't sure which group it is yet. If she throws you a firebomb when you weren't expecting, that's ok, only a few jumps away from giving yourself another chance. If after 2-3 tries you just aren't feeling it, go try an alternative. If all fails, then there is still the long way. Go work out, go do something you enjoy, go do activities that make yourself fulfilled. Even if you do all this and still can't find a girl on the same wavelength, then you're not at all worse off than you were before all this. But you would have developed your own character and found out a lot about yourself along the way as well.

 

All of the advice given in the post above is far more helpful than "just be yourself". The issue with "just be yourself" is that it feels dismissive to say that to someone looking for genuine advice on how to approach women/men.
Sometimes, people lack social skills, have no charm, have no hobbies (or they have hobbies, but none where they can meet new people), they aren't decent people, they don't know when to stop and so on. How is being themselves going to help then? It's okay to change some aspects of yourself and work on your social skills without compromising your entire personality. It's really no different than, say, a new player looking for guidance in Royals. Maybe you could link them a beginner's guide or something, tell them which class you personally think is best to start with, things like that. But instead you say "Just play".