Why You Shouldn't Use The N-Word If You're Not Black. #justsayin

This isn't meant to start a flame war...simply a dialogue about the subject, since it seems appropriate for this audience based on my past experiences as a GM here.

I will have this thread closed superfast if you can't keep it reasonable and mature. You are welcome to disagree...as long as you don't flame when you do it.

Let the debate begin...

 

inb4 someone trolls

 

Thanks for posting this. I completely agree. I'm black and I do not say the N-word. It makes me uncomfortable because I'm vividly aware of its historical context. I also grew up in a really strict household. That kind of language was not acceptable.

Topics like this terrify me. ;-; I guess I find it difficult to seek empathy from people when they think their actions are justified. I'm often told that I'm being too sensitive. I hate how this particular word rolls off my boyfriend's tongue so easily. He's white but in his teenage years he hung out with a certain crowd and started listening to a lot of underground Toronto rap so he thinks it's okay if he says that word. I disagree. F3. It's an ongoing conversation that we're having though.

P.S. I love chescaleigh.

 

I hate when people use words like "the N word", "gay", "***" and other hurtful racial or homophobic slurs. Then, they defend it by saying "oh, it just means stupid". Well, if you intend for it to mean stupid then why don't you just use the word stupid? Why do you have to use words that can offend people? People who use those words in that context sound uneducated and immature.

 

I agree with realcats. The use of said word isn't acceptable in most situations. There are still certain situations in which it can be used, e.g. with close friends (if they agree that it's okay), to a certain degree. But many people find this offensive, so I find the use of the N-word to anyone you don't know well and who finds this offensive (even a little bit) unacceptable.

I thank you for this post. By the way, I really hope people will NOT use this topic as a starting point of trolling, offensive language or any form of racial slurs.

 

I'm white and personally have no problem using the word freely with people whom I feel comfortable around and I know the word would not offend them (not that I use it all that often anyway, heck I can't even remember the last time I did use it, but I don't restrict myself from not using it, if I would like to). The word will not be racially charged or have a historically derogatory meaning if you don't let it. It's just a word that means black.

I'm a preacher of full freedom of speach, and to me, words only have the meaning they are given in the context of sentences they are put in. I respect people have different opinions on this matter. For example I've been raised since I was 5, by my stepfather who is African, and he is as dark as they get. He hates the word with all his heart and goes red simply by overhearing the word spoken by someone else. I never use it when he's around, I have total respect for his opinion on the matter. But I would never let that restrain me from using the word with other people who don't find it offensive whatsoever, if that what I felt like doing.

I accept the fact that the word was used as a slur for slaves over 100 years ago, and given the context it was used in, yes it was probably very offensive. Meaning of words change every day. The F-word, which is now most commonly known as a derogatory term for homosexuals, was used (or may still be used) as a unit of measuring a bundle of sticks. To me, yes it is still derogatory, and I could use it in a derogatory way to offend someone, but it has no reference to homosexuals. It's not much different than jerk, asshole or douchebag, just a tad more charged.

TL; DR: I disagree with OP.

 

Just out of curiosity... can you elaborate on how you use the word with people you're comfortable with? I'm not sure if you're saying that you use the word in private to refer to black people. Or are you saying you use the word to mean something else entirely (e.g. brother, homie, bro)? Well, you did say it's just a word that means black. My cat is black and white. Would you call my cat N-word and white instead?

Anyway! Perhaps you are misunderstanding the debate if you think freedom of speech should be your biggest concern here. No one is telling you what you can and cannot say. The question being discussed is whether or not you SHOULD say the word. I completely agree with freedom of speech! I also think people should be held accountable for what they say.

You can continue to use whatever kind of language that you see fit to express yourself. But also accept that if the wrong people hear it, there could be consequences that you don't like. It might make someone think of you as unintelligent and insensitive. You could be labeled as racist or ignorant. You could lose important relationships or be fired from a job. Accept that just as there could consequences for saying "there's a bomb in my bag" when you're at the airport, there could be consequences for other things you say. I think this is the crux of the argument because it seems like non-black people are suggesting it should be okay to use the N-word however and whenever they see fit, without repercussions.

The word and its baggage are not going to go away until racial disparities are over with. Chescaleigh touched on this a bit toward the end of her video. It's not going to just stop being a big deal because you think it's not a big deal.

I urge you to consider what it is that stops you from saying the N-word in certain environments. Is it just because the word itself seems offensive? Is it inappropriate given the environment? Might it be hurtful (intentionally or otherwise)? Does it make you look bad? How do you think your step-father feels when he hears the word?

You can interchange most of this with the F-word. Language is incredibly fluid and it will certainly change as the social context changes. I don't believe that perfect equality is achievable, but as long as blacks and homosexuals are marginalized systematically, the slurs used against them will carry an uncomfortable weight. As we approach equal treatment I think there will be less tension over these words.

 

I would pretty much only use it as a form of endearment when greeting a fellow; as in the cliché "Sup mah ......". I'm goofy like that. And yes, I do believe I should be allowed to use the word whenever and wherever I want, but not without any repercussions. If I was a regular user of the word, I'd still never use in public, due to respect for others. It's like this whole shitstorm that's been happening on MR lately, people getting report happy and report the tiniest things. If I used it in public, the likelyhood of someone overhearing me, regardless of the fact they would find it offensive or not, would still not give up the challenge to give me a hard time about it.

I'm very indifferent about the whole debate itself, stop talking about how loaded the word is, and it will lose the power behind it. As mentioned before, I don't really use the word that much, I don't care about it, it's just a word. When used in an offensive context, it should be interpreted as that. When used differently...

 

Yeah... While the N-word is a historic reference to racial segregation, it is racism, too, when you say that ONLY white people aren't allowed to say such a word, while black people are allowed to. So it would be quite a paradox, to be honest... Using racial segregation concerning a word that displays racial segregation.

 

Im not going to say more than this, To use it now. Is not racist, it is somewhat ignorant to flagrantly call it racist when used in context like saying "my N**GA" . This is a new generation, and with new generations, new meanings come to old words. If you want to be stuck in the past and get hurt over it. Thats a fallacy brought onto yourself. And i say this without the need to get flamed. Because I wont even read it. But look at society now, We have stupid things like 'Lol" in our webster dictionaries now(Seriously, its essay use approved now). There is an age barrier in these words. Get on the boat, or drown in the moat.

 

If you can use a different word and not offend ANYONE why wouldn't you?

If you approached someone of African American descent and said "Hey my n**ga" would they get offended by that? I sure as hell think they would. Whether it's right, wrong, or indifferent there is still a stigma to using that word in public.

You could EASILY replace the N word with "dude" in any context. So why don't you? Why choose to use the word when you can easily replace it with something else?

EDIT: To say the N word isn't racist is the most ignorant statement i've ever heard.

EDIT 2: The reason the word existed in the first place was to disparage an entire race.

EDIT 3: It says you're from New Jersey, as am I. Try going into Newark and calling people that word, see what happens.

 

I think that the world needs to become more loose and not give a shit about the word being used, and more about the way in which the word is used.

For example:
"Sup mah n1gg@" instead of "Check out that fucking n1gg3r over there"

Get over it. Actions should be judged based on intent, not on the action itself.

 

Wise words right there... I totally agree with you.

 

Wise?... Don't make me laugh!

Many people share that sentiment. That black people need to just get over it.

This is a major part of the problem. Haven't we been oppressed enough as it is? We were kept as slaves, abused, killed, humiliated, separated from our families, separated from our culture, separated from our religions, our languages. Stripped of dignity. (Both now AND then.)

I can't walk into a store without workers scrutinizing me as if I'm going to steal something. Based on the color of my skin! (Let alone both of my parents make over 100k a year and have post graduate degrees.) I now live in a state that is known for its blatant disregard for human life (if the skin color is black). When I walk in the parking lot people lock their cars a second time and clutch their belongings (when the car I drive is much nicer than that P.O.S. they ride around in).

Until my hardships are over, you do not get to tell me what I need to get over. Until you walk a mile in my shoes and struggle, you do not get to tell me to get over it. You have taken enough. You don't get to decide what I care about. Stop treating the world like you own the place. Until you know our struggle, you do not have a say! (And no, you don't know our struggle.)

I don't like you using the N-word regardless of your intention. I can't stop you from saying it and I won't try to, but if you are saying it, I am judging you.

How about you guys do US a favor and get over it?!


Edit: To expand on the bolded statement. Another underlying issue that separates this topic from others is the immense power difference between the groups involved. Racism requires one group to be powerful enough to greatly influence and impact the lives of the other group. If this situation were the other way around and white people didn't want black people to be able to do something, there would be laws in place that put us in jail for it. Because white people have that kind of power. Does that sound familiar? Well it should because things like this already exist. There are many things that a black person will be punished for harshly, where white's have laws (or money) to protect them from similar punishment.

 

I feel like the first video lady contradicted herself pretty hardcore. She said that saying the nword is a group dynamic thing, but she still argues about the unfair treatment of black people. Youre setting yourself apart by making yourself a group, but you complain about people calling you out as different. That doesn't make sense to me at all.

It's really intent though, I think many of the previous posters have hit it right on the nail.

 

Having equal treatment doesn't mean we want to be part of the majority group. Equality does not have to mean assimilation. You can respect, acknowledge, and celebrate differences and diversity while still granting other groups their basic human rights.

I.E. We aren't complaining about being "different". We are complaining about mistreatment. There might be things I say to my mom that I won't say to my dad and vice versa. They are different and I treat them differently. But I won't treat either of them as less than human or show preference for one or the other in things that matter: access to resources, job discrimination, racial profiling.

 

Oh yeah, understood completely. It's just when differences and diversity become an excuse for human preference. (Some people like Jeff better than Jimmy, not because he's black and not because I'm a racist, it's because he's a different person with different qualities about him.)

 

If you're white you shouldn't say it. I don't even say it to my 3 older brothers and we are closer than any of me and my black friends. And to clarify, I don't say it around my couple of black friends either. There's plenty of other things to end a sentence with than "my *****" or the word itself…just my opinion.

If you're black you probably shouldn't say it either…this is where some people might disagree with me. But if you want the word to be forgotten about and eliminated from every day use "you" (you meaning all black people) probably shouldn't use it either. It makes me feel awkward when a black kid drops the N-word over and over in our conversation.

Not nearly as awkward as when a WHITE kid drops the N-word over and over in a conversation with a black person, but still.

There's just no place for it to be honest. What sentence, or story in the history of ever was enhanced by the n-word?

 

Not really.

The N-word originates from the Greek/Latin word Negro that means dark skinned, a word that is even in the Bible.
I know a lot of people that use various forms of the N-word without it ever being a loaded word in their mind.
Mostly people from the North or small towns or older people that grew up with the N-word just meaning "black".
Do I cringe when I hear them say it? Yes. But I also understand where they are coming from.

My personal opinion can be summed up with these two vids.