Gamer Rant: The Current State of MapleRoyals

Discussion in 'Off Topic / Spam / Test' started by Pisser, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. Pisser
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    Pisser Member

    Hello everyone! You might not be familiar with me but in the real world my name is Stephen Bovlacki and I'm a hardcore gamer. As a hardcore gamer I'm sure you can all imagine that I'm very disappointed with the current state of the MapleRoyals Servers. Some of you might say "Oh, go outside!" or "stop being a fucking asshole" but all of you don't understand that I plan my entire day around gaming because unlike you casuals.... I AM A GAMER.

    Now to give all of you a run down on just how much this is fucking up my current day to day routine I'll give you all a little glimpse into the typical day of a hardcore gamer. I begin my day at 1PM but sometimes I will wake up earlier depending on how hard I gamed the prior night. So as I awaken I pull my Samsung Galaxy 7 out from under my pillow and immediately start gaming with some Clash Royals. Yeah, I play phone games but more importantly I play ALL GAMES. I'm a hardcore gamer. About an hour later once I feel ready to awaken I get a big bowl of lucky charms and I make sure to pick out some extra marshmallows from in the box. I go to my computer and boot up Counter Strike and as soon as the game loads I'm just head shoting every idiot in my sight. My K/D ratio is absolutely amazing and it's so high that I can't even remember it because there are so many numbers in it. After a successful 4 hour gaming sesh it's time to move over to some Street Fighter on the frickin Playstation baby. Usually at this point my Mom is home from work so I get her to make me a grilled cheese sandwich before I get to fighting. Once I'm on Street Fighter I'm beating every idiot with my badass Ken. I love to Air Tatsu and than SHORYUKEN morons in the face all day! Now after this it's time to go back to the computer and play some DOTA 2. I do whatever it is that you do in that game and I'm really good at it. So at this point I'm usually going to the fridge to get some cold pizza and preparing for my final game sesh of the night which is usually the longest and most intense... MapleRoyals. Now you know where I'm coming from as you can see... after a full day of gaming my plans are pushed to a screeching halt once I find out that the MapleRoyals server is down. The worse part is that it keeps happening. This entire week has been one of the worst weeks of my life because every night my late night gaming plans are smashed to pieces in front of my eyes.

    I think that the admins of this game really need to consider the people whose lives they're affecting when they do things like extending server maintenance for 3 days. We hardcore gamers need to be considered... just because we don't live our lives like you casuals doesn't mean we're lesser people. We're just gamers... we love to game. Taking away games from a hardcore gamer is like me coming up to you and saying oh sorry but for the next 3 days you're not allowed to eat. It would psychologically damage you and eventually you would die. So that's where I'm at right now and all I've got to say is that I don't want to die... I want to game.

    edit: I accidentally posted this in lounge instead of Maple General. Mods, please move this thread and also pin it to the top if possible.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2017
    Moo, Davostory, Neolakia and 12 others like this.
  2. Aven
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    Aven Donator

    satirical or no?
     
  3. Juni
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    Juni Active Member

    Mr. Bovlacki you bring up great points, as of late my late nights have been in disarray. More consideration for the hardcore gamers please! My Dorito stacks are running low, also I only have 2 bottles of mountain dew left. While gaming, my consumption of these products and the like lowers greatly. Not only is our gaming on the line here, but our health as well! With the server up and running, my life seems almost perfect. without it... it's anything but. I hope the server returns soon.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2017
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  4. Pisser
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    Pisser Member

    Juni... thank you.
     
  5. Ike
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    Ike Well-Known Member

    Interesting post....
     
    Toothpaste likes this.
  6. Mouthbreather
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    Mouthbreather Donator

    this is too long to be a copy pasta
     
    Penny, willsng, rustygreen and 8 others like this.
  7. Shielded
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    Shielded Well-Known Member

    I feel u bruh
    [​IMG]
     
    willsng likes this.
  8. Snowyz
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    Snowyz Donator

    Bruh but if you were starved for 3 days of food you wouldn't die, you'd just be famished
     
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  9. Chrille
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    Chrille Donator

    I bet you're silver
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2017
    Juni, ginwolf, Raiden and 8 others like this.
  10. Pisser
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    Pisser Member

    Okay, well what if I told you that you get to eat at the end of the 3 days but once that time is up I say "Oh, sorry you've got to wait another 48 hours".

    You would die eventually.
     
    SodeNoShirayuki likes this.
  11. Cocozzi
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    Cocozzi Donator

  12. Spooky Business
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    Spooky Business Well-Known Member

    >Ctrl + F "poopsock" and "pissbottle"
    >0 results
    How can you call yourself hardcore?
     
    Neolakia, Penny, workteam and 6 others like this.
  13. StaticShock
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    StaticShock Donator

    I bet you boost you noob.
     
    Romina, Neolakia, MoriForest and 10 others like this.
  14. Pisser
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    Pisser Member

    Here is an original song I wrote for my fellow gamers.

    Real Gamers, how many of us?
    How many of us, how many good? Real Gamers
    It's not many of us, we smile at each other
    But how many honest? Trust issues
    Switched up the K/D ratio, I can't be bothered
    I cannot blame you for havin' an angle
    I ain't got no issues, I'm just headshotin' some idiots
    Hope you're headshotin' some idiots too
    I'm a deadbeat gamer, I hate clan reunions
    Fuck the forum up by shit postin' on the communion
    Spillin' free Mountain Dew, now my keyboard is ruined
    Online for a day, what the fuck we doin'?
     
    Juni likes this.
  15. runadamsrun
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    runadamsrun Well-Known Member

    I think Mr. Bovlacki is, without a doubt, a hardcore gamer. One of the first signs that pointed to this was when he said he played DotA 2. That's clearly the case because casuals like myself play League of Legends, a much more fun softcore moba.
     
    Neolakia likes this.
  16. Dimitri
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    Dimitri Saint of Horses

    Moo, Davostory, Neolakia and 17 others like this.
  17. Matty
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    Matty Donator

    5/7
     
    Neolakia, MsKate, xFishy and 3 others like this.
  18. Christie
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    Christie Well-Known Member

    At first I laugh because I thought it was a joke, then I realised it wasn't a joke and laugh even harder
    thank you very much for the laughs bro !
     
    Moo, Penny, MsKate and 2 others like this.
  19. BangHero
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    BangHero Well-Known Member

    I wish i was this hardcore. Give him a new source!
     
  20. LonelyCloud
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    LonelyCloud Donator

    I think its hilarious you guys talk shit about Pisser, you wouldn't say that to him on lan; he's JACKED, he wears the freshest clothes, eats at the chillest restaurants and hangs out with the hottest dudes, you all pathetic LUL
     
    Neolakia, neverIucky, xoto and 3 others like this.

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