Hi i'm Valen, I figured i'd make a mental health thread just for people to talk about their Mental. Could be good things like what you do to recharge or things that have been affecting you. Of course if its uncomfortable for you to say in public i'm not forcing you to share. Since I started this thread I'll start, and again it could be anything. So lately i've been on a little bit of a depression of thinking who do I really have to talk to about my problems. I'm a very extroverted guy in game and outside and have friends almost everywhere. However at times I feel lonely thinking who would listen to my problems. Over a period of time I really thought I didn't have anyone to talk to these type of things with. My closest friends in game really quit royals and moved on and then my lifer friends all are far away from me so I lost a big connection. Took a long period of me and the gym and thought it would fix myself. It did for a little while, but once I received my ideal weight and my ideal body type I went back to square one. Finally found a friend group and got really close and really open my shell again and was unable to become vulnerable. Its been a couple months with this group and my mental has definitely became better. We do a lot of outdoor activities and play lots of volleyball and I feel it was just human interaction that I was missing in my life. But I can say now im pretty good mentally. Please feel free to share your latest stories! (If you feel comfortable)
Man, when I study I wish school would just end already. When it ends and I'm looking for work, I wish I could just study again It sometimes feel like I'm looking for something but that thing never comes. Learning how to appreciate the moment is hard, but very important. For me, long walks in the forests while "talking" to myself and reflecting on my life choices and current situation helps quite a bit
I could relate to this I have been doing lots of long runs to clear my head, as well as long walks on the beach reflecting!
I don't think "true happiness" exists, I believe there are only different levels of dissatisfied. However, I'm a glass half full kind of guy so I voted for happy. I try not to waste my energy caring about what other people think or trying to fit into society. I channel it into personal projects, self-education and exploring the outdoors.
I think I'm doing well. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and friends that care for me. Not much more a guy can ask for hehe.
in your own words do you think unconditional love exist, and if so would it correlate with true happiness?
I'm not 100%, I would say 70% happy and 30% sad/disappointed because I lost a good friendship after long 3 years, we just don't talk anymore, probably she don't care, but I still care and makes me feel bad, anyway I will get over it and end this year very happy cause of my new job, I back to study guitar at saturday, my course almost over and I finally can do more than 30 pushups :v
I just feel like people have way too high expectations. I don't think anything is truly unconditional, though if it feels like it is then you're doing something right (or horribly wrong if you're well aware of that fact and just lying to yourself). I think people need to not try to achieve "true happiness" in the first place and instead start with smaller goals, like inner peace and self confidence. I also don't want to pretend like I've always had these things, or they're not things I'm still working on, because that's far from the truth. I've learned to accept that we only have enough time on this planet to achieve the things that truly matter to us, and there's not a whole lot of room for compromise. I think people should focus on working on themselves as much as possible, and that you will start to feel better once you start achieving things you were told that you couldn't (either by yourself or others). Once you love yourself "unconditionally" then I believe it's possible to love another person "unconditionally", as in you accept them in every aspect. I do think a fulfilling relationship is definitely something that is good for mental health. It's just not something you should strive for too early.
I've been dealing with trichotillomania for over 4 years now and these past 3 months it has gotten worse than ever. I acknowledge that I'm hurting myself but as horrible this bald spot on my head looks, I really can't stop doing it. I just can't man. perhaps I need to love myself more because I truly don't like who I am sometimes.
I understand the feelings of losing a good friendship. However you know people come in seasons sometimes the seasons can last longer then expected. Remember you cant fix things that you didn't break. Also proud of you getting a new job as well as picking up an old hobby again. Congratulations on being able to do 30 push ups thats impressive!
I usually feel so hard to explain that how my feeling in real life, so I share the instagram artist's picture here which I like. Spoiler: アボガド6 btw, it just an artwork. if you get a feeling of sensitive, just don't read it.
Hey Valen, I'm 26 and I don't think I've ever been genuinely happy. In that context, I'm usually limited to feelings of self-gratification and satisfaction at a job well done, proportional to the task difficulty. So it's hard for me to to distinguish between the two from authentic happiness. But I also want to be very clear that I will never lose hope or the cheerful optimism that I will someday achieve happiness with some degree of permanence. Currently, I've also made finding reasons to be happy as a full time job. I understand your plight, I really do brother. After getting my paramedic, I decided to go career with fire & rescue and am currently a probie inside of my first year. And from my POV, mental illness is rampant in our line of work and inside my department so you are/were not alone in this. I even realized I was falling into a similar motif. We show up on scenes and are exposed to an assortment of potentially traumatizing circumstances, sometimes we're on duty for over 24 hours, we're all under enormous pressure to perform and yet, mistakes do happen because we're human, call volumes seem to be increasing on the daily...etc. Which I was all aware of & had experience with beforehand, but was still very excited to sign on for. I was perhaps not prepared, nor equipped to handle it until after the fact. In fact, our department is really struggling right now because the average career life span is now only about 8 years. Over time, people burn out and can no longer effectively cope. Ultimately, they cannot meet the baseline level & consistency that's expected and have to seek out a different line of work. And to be totally honest, it had gradually become a fantasy of mine to perform a sort of selfish-sacrificial act beyond my scope and die in the field, "bravely", from a bystander's perspective. Which in actuality, would have almost certainly led to additional deaths/injuries, my own senseless death, caused embarrassment to my agency, or all of the above. But what I've always truly wanted is the self-validation that I am good at what I do from a proven track record; that I was able to contribute some good and that I learn something new everyday to get better. Yet, somewhere down the line, it had become distorted into that other line of inquiry where I wanted to justify taking an easy way out and even momentarily made it my goal. My CPT pulled me aside in private and brought these mental health concerns up with me one particular day. He didn't bore me with the whole Serotonin + Dopamine = Happiness or "death related" statistics spiel. In bullet points he told me that: He was concerned for my mental health His observations were not based on personal judgements of my character He didn't want to see this leading to a potentially costly mistake at my expense That himself and my peers could act as a support network anytime I reached out What I was experiencing is not necessarily indicative of a personal issue/fault, but more so a possible demonstration of more systematic, underlying issues I was not being punished That I could never achieve my best personal performance through a painful struggle And finally, that this was not something I could simply "fix" right away. It was something I could only work and improve upon, gradually over time through trial & error I did some serious introspection, and realized that without even noticing, I must have lost sight of my vocation or perhaps forgotten all about the good things I have going on in my life currently. I have the amazing privilege of being able to do this awesome, exciting job that I also really love at the same time. I'm compensated well and all my needs are secure. I love and am loved by my service brothers and sisters. I've got a great mother and sister. I'm alive, still relatively young, healthy, and should be closing in on some of my most productive & exciting years that I absolutely want to live through & experience. Keeping my thoughts centered on those areas has really improved my life in all aspects and served as a positive reminder of what I have to look forward to, what I have now (and what I have to lose), and what I need to be doing. It's kept me grounded and away from some more self-defeating frames of negativity. I think it's so easy to get complacent if we're not constantly placing our own mental wellbeing above all else and keeping up with our own self-tailored strategies of getting by. And our minds are also so complex in all the different ways that each and every one of us receives and processes the information from our surroundings. Anywho, thanks for the share. I'm happy to hear that you've found some positive momentum to ride on in kind! And thanks for providing the platform for me to write all this. It's been helpful to get this off my chest.
Yes and no. you have to look at it in many of Scenarios. for example: ex moves on and hurt you in the process but yet you don't hate him/her but still care and love that person and only want whats best for them in life, Thats unconditional love. However as nice as that sounds it is then going to personally impact that person when in future they are still refusing to actually let go and move on all whilst seeing him/her either fall in love all over again with someone else or becoming someone they don't recognise. People have to let go of all these circumstances. True unconditional love can always be an Omen and a burden but it's down to what someone is willing to take themselves through to make that one person know atleast someone cares and appreciates them. Sadly unconditional love is literally one sided and i say this because two people won't unconditionally love eachother, One is going to overthink, over protect and try and take control of situations and the life they share because they just care that much more than the other.
Wow what a compelling story. I read it three times just because it was not only well written, but very emotional. Thank you for sharing and would love to have genuine conversation with you in game.
I want to talk about something that has been affecting my mental for quite some time. I'm 23 and pretty good looking dude and have a great physique, and not to boast even more I have a really good extroverted calm personality that always seems to win people over. I recently had these situationships that have really affected my mental. I'm unsure if its just myself however I've asked a lot of friends that are females am I the one that's doing something wrong. However I keep getting to this point to where this girl likes me and I like this girl, but she doesn't want to date, and its been happening to frequently. Its very taxing in my mental to invest and just for the girl to have commitment issues. If anyone else is experiencing this type of situations in their love life, please share I cant be the only one. Every time I go through this its feels like bullets into my mental.
She prob just not ready. She can like someone and treat them nice, but not yet fully trust them enough to get into a date. That's all I can say from my experience. Girls get hurt alot and need alot time totally get over a breakup. So before she can accept to get on a date, she question herself as if she make a right choice, is this guy are the right person for her, is this a right decision or it will end up not good? (which will hurt her feeling). So, it's not just simply have feeling for a guy and accept to get on a date. As a girl, I only can accept to date someone, if i can somehow make sure, he is best compatible with me, he is my bestfriend and support me in my difficult time, im totally can be my true self with him, he love me and respect me, with him im happier and improve myself to become better person (and for him too), this guy will never hurt my feeling, etc. Girls are not just about having fun and get into a date, girls somehow more fragile and think twice to get into a date, to protect her own feeling. If she like you but dont want to get into a date, probably she not fully trust you yet. If she doesnt want to date, just be fine with that, be her friend and help her with what you can, being nice to her, get to know her more, gain her trust so she think she got the right one for her. Dont invest too much on her if you dont want to, be nice to her only in the way you CAN. Dont think it's an investment to be nice to her, you treat her nice just because you want to do. I think love should be like that rather than think it's an investment. Be the best friend of her, make her believe that you are the best one for her. However, if you feel tired to try to get on a date with her, probably, she is not yet the right one for you. Dont be so much stress of it. If its too difficult, it probably not the right one. It sounds weird but you can try google your question to get some answer, example like Spoiler: this https://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/attraction/20-ways-to-make-her-fall-in-love/ https://www.lovepanky.com/men/essentials-for-men/how-to-respond-when-a-girl-rejects-you And i think similar question like this you can get more results on google *sorry for bad English
For the longest time I struggled a lot with really negative thoughts and all that that came from having way too much free time and just.. time to sit and think and it wasn't pretty and even good on my mental state. Even when that changed and I was more busy in comparison, when I had free days, I felt kind of like.. well what now? Nothing really changed on those days and even though I felt like most days I was doing better, it wasn't entirely true But now I can say having something of a consistent routine and sticking to that kind of keeps me from even having the spoons to entertain bad thoughts as much as I did. It's a simple, but keeping busy everyday in some way has been really good for my mental state. Taking walks at least once a day (maybe twice) and just putting on spotify on my phone is always a nice way to spend my day. An added bonus is getting to socialize sometimes Thx op for making this thread btw
