Get it off your chest!

I was in my mid twenties when I joined Royals. I am now thirty years old.

Bruh.

 

i am sad

 

I would like play Geoguessr, but MapleStory version.

 

I would like play Gunz but Maplestory version.

 

big guild..wow.... are you sure it's not a big echo chamber

 

Decide to come back and see what's new after being gone for years
-> No idea who has my old claw, so I'm facing having to buy or make a brand new one. 66 white scrolls on a perfect dragon purple sleeve...
-> Buy a player shop to sell some scrolls
-> Get d/ced 5 times within a few hours, give up. search around and see it's a common glitch. wasted NX.
-> Go farm a whole bunch of area bosses for NX
-> Buy a hired merchant
-> "You have items with frederick"


rip 78 mil. Man, rough reintroduction back to the game after all this time. Don't know anyone anymore, don't know the market, don't know where my claw is. Sad times.

 

Holy shit. I am so white that one afternoon in the summer sun turned me into pink guy for a day, then a gingerbread. And that was an afternoon in the Swedish sun. Really hot countries would laugh at our summer temperature

 

Cant beat them join them

 

I hope Karven is doing okay.

 

Is that all life can offer me? Seriously?
Did my actual peak in life already happened few years ago without me even realizing its all downhill from here and on, no matter what will I ever achieve or have, because of simple biology, hormones and human body limitations that becomes worse and worse by the MONTH now (not even a year at this point) with every year dragging me down until the day I die finally comes at last….
Is thats all the hype behind all of this? I was told to constantly “conquer the world and put myself out there” by everyone and their mothers dog instead of just chilling and playing GMS in my room in like 2005ish when I was a goofy nerd (still am in a way), I was promised so goddamn more when the two of us started this whole thing a decade ago.
Now with you being defacto “dead” for years now…As a matter of fact I wish you were dead for real because death is better by a landslide than whatever happened to you in that place during those long years, because this kind of life you’re forced to live until your last breath shouldn’t be a thing. You deserved better, you are the reason I am even where I am, and I learnt from the mistake that took your sanity away for good so I won’t end up repeating it ever. Thank you for everything, I wish I could put you out of your misery myself because morally, it’s the least I can do. But well it ain’t really part of my plans, so it seems like you will be living long and miserable life, instead of being with me here like we planned years ago when we were still young and ignorant of the reality around us. You were like my brother I never had. I loved you.

Besides, out of all outcomes I could get, I wouldn’t imagine “the dream” being so…”anticlimactic”. I mean, finding out the dream every grifter is talking about on social media 24/7 as a panacea to all problems in mans life and flexing shit most don’t even actually have IRL is goddamn NOTHINGBURGER after a certain age/whatever your body and mind are genetically forced to break apart I wish I could skip the waste of time called “school”, or their useless midwit ass “education” and have done all of this way, way sooner at like 13-15 instead of barely starting my life in my 20s. Maybe that way when I achieved everything I ever dreamed about having before my body and mind broke apart as a side effect of my own series of experiments on myself in order to reach my goal (or at least most of this stuff I idolized or borderline even WORSHIPPED before I actually got all of it, yet too goddamn late).

Well, in some cases, late isn’t actually better than never - I would prefer not to see the extreme good in my life, I would rather take all the bad instead. Because it is not a bad life that causes you to suffer - it is the extremely good one I regret living, to this very day. There are things we shouldn’t be exposed to, no matter how bad we want them. Thats what broke me. Not the bad, but the extreme good which is unobtainable after certain time even with all the money and power in the world. Because money doesn’t buy happiness, only excessive absurd amounts of dopamine that will eventually explode in your face and kill you inside, even if everything is going well.

Anyway, real life is fucking boring and legit horseshit, even if you happened to somehow “win” and legitimately “hack” the game, just irl. I can’t wait to be done with some of my stuff and play Royals again, escaping the overrated “real life experience”, touted as “the solution to all your problems” especially in 2024 and especially with the years go by, making it all less and less enjoyable, and that’s assuming you even win in the first place.

Kinda funny to think about it…I didn’t even live half of my life yet and my body and mind already gave in and literally collapsing on itself, despite looking, acting and doing everything like the person social media and society in general tell you to be like. ITS ALL GODDAMN BULLSHIT, THIS IDEAL UTOPIA LIFE DOESNT EXIST. THE PEOPLE YOU WORSHIP DONT EXIST. THE LIFE YOU WANT THE MOST, DOESNT EXIST. At least not in a way they portray it to be, you willbe surprised to hear what kind of problems the so called “perfect” people having, literally the same as all of us. Even if you win big, you’re still miserable, or will be soon enough when your entire body and mind will catch up. And it will catch up.


TLDR life is boring and not worth living at all after a certain age, no matter who you are or what you have. you have. I don’t want to die so I guess I will just continue to do my thing and. exist until this whole meme finally ends, and the sad part is, I cannot even numb the pain at this stage with dopamine hits, because my dopamine receptors are also fried for life. Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is. Cannot even escape this goddamn reality lmao aging is worse than fucking death I swear

 

Thanks to everyone who was around in 2020-2022 , when I grinded the game endlessly , yall made it so much more fun

How fast time flies ...

 

I still think about you all the time. It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't me that didn't deserve your love. It was you who didn't deserve mine. I hope you are in a better place. And I'm sorry for all the other bullshit you didn't deserve.

 

Genuinely miss the days of having hours to pour into the grind that is Royals

 

This eager for upgrades makes every sale look like the "count to 5000" thread.

 

GMs have toon force.

 

Recovering from possible influenza or covid, not sure which, but worse than a cold
Getting covid in 2024 is so cringe. That's what I get for being around people for once

 

I found out this morning that one of my very first friends that I made on this server passed away. I hadn't talked to them in literal years, and hearing the news of what happened initially almost felt like... it had nothing to do with me. But then I sat here throughout the day thinking back on all my years in this server and all the memories I've shared with this person, and it's starting to feel a lot like being run over by a slow-moving truck. I canceled all of my meetings today and offered no explanation to anyone. I wished I could find a friend to talk about this with but couldn't figure out how to reach out to any of them. So instead, here I am smashing out a wall-of-text on this cursed thread. Because how the fuck do I even start to explain "so there's this person I met many many years ago on an online video game private server..." to a real, functioning human being? And it was such a weird fucking coincidence too, hearing this news just as I was hearing about some latest drama in the server.

You introduced me to my first guild alliance in this game, brought me into the first group of people that I could truly call friends in this server. You were kind, thoughtful, honestly low key kind of toxic, and always willing to clown on me, yourself, or literally anyone else just to give people a quick laugh. The last time there was major drama on the forums, you asked me to unban you on shoutbox so that you can keep up with what was happening. I did, and I didn't tell a single soul about it. That was the one and only time I "abused" my staff powers, and it was a funny little secret between us. Thank you for telling me to apply to your shitty little guild alliance that one random time all those years ago, because if it wasn't for our coincidental meeting I probably wouldn't have ever seen myself integrating into and growing within this toxic little hellscape we call a community. That may have been the best for everyone truthfully speaking, but that's neither here nor there.

I hope your soul can finally find some rest, and I hope your soul is at peace with the knowledge that you've managed to have a profound impact on at least one person's life on an illegal mushroom game hosted in a tiny corner of the internet.

Looking back now, I've spent eight years on this server. I'm turning 30 in half a year, meaning that I've spent the majority of my 20's here. And being back on these forums after being away for almost an entire year reminds me that life is so fucking surreal. Sometimes I think that I'm actually grateful for the deranged sycophants that fought to get me forum banned and the bootlicking staff members that let it happen, because it was the final push that I needed to move on from this server. The pandemic introduced collective brainrot in all of us, and none of us here were an exception. But for some reason, this community alone feels like some sort of frozen time capsule where no one seems to realize that the world has moved on and that life has gotten better since. I went to the beach every other weekend with my friends even though I hate the sun, I hate sand, and I hate water. I saw Chappell Roan at Gov Ball and watched Illinoise on Broadway with my boyfriend. I joined a volleyball league. I got COVID for the third time despite having been vaccinated four fucking times. I'm starting a new job soon. I'm going to one of my best friend's wedding in two weeks and I'll be seeing a bunch of old friends from college that I haven't seen in years. And although I won't be updating the travelogue thread, I got to explore some cool new places and take some cool new photos on my cool new camera.

I feel like my life has finally been moving forward again, and I can't help but wonder why I wasted so much of my life volunteering to moderate these forums. I didn't even have any real powers to exploit for money lmao. But it's good to see friendly faces after some time away, and it's even better to see that you're all doing well. Love to savor the latest drama, but also love to see all the silliness that the community can make out of it. Take care everyone.

 

one of the best sentence from a best friend fellow man
''I Knew you were not the smartest from the way you spoke''

gl irl and Git gud