Hmm.. I thought about the ongoing situation for quite a while now, and I thought maybe it's time to speak up, also had a rly good talk with a friend that encouraged me to do this, as uncomfortable as it is. I want to first and foremost - apologize. I'm sorry to those who were offended because of my actions or my words. It's not a secret i'm quite known here in this community, and not for good reasons - be it rumors, false-reputation, or actually a lot of different things i really did or said. I'm very vocal, I give my opinion when nobody asked for it, I butted in a lot in the past for a long time (Community Blacklist / Arguments / etc).. In one word - controversial. I'm a unique person, for good and for bad, and it shows. Sometimes my intentions could be pure, but the way i put it out is not on-point, and it gives a different vibe, or different intention, from my initial thoughts. I've hurt people without meaning to do it, I've annoyed people when I thought i'm just being a jokester or playful, I've kept people away because it sucks being around that one guy that ppl are uncomfortable being around. I think that one sentence that a guildmate once told me, kinda got me to understand how much of an issue that was. 'Everyone tolerates you, nobody likes your attitude, fuck off'. And yeah, it's rude, but it's also true. So i'm sorry. sorry to Ohms, Northern, Totoro and everyone else that feels negative feelings towards me. I didn't mean to do it, really. When one person is saying something, it's not guaranteed that it's the absolute truth. but when so many people align and say the same thing, about different situations, it's best to self-reflect and think about "maybe its actually true? maybe i'm the problem after all?" and it turns out.. I am. I do want to mention something about the Kanzir Incident with OwlNightLong - he was paid back 20b, even tho he didn't ask for it himself, but i insisted on paying him back and i downgraded my own gear to pay him back. I'm not the kind of guy to try and ruin somebody's day for the sake of 'shits and giggles', and i'm not the type of guy to screw his friends. I cherish and appreciate every single one of my friends, and it's not a really high number so I would never think about hurting them. What I did in the past cannot be reverted, and the way i acted in the past cannot be erased from memories. I wanted to get this all off my chest, to try and ask for a 2nd chance in this community. I know there are a lot of things people say about me, and mostly it's not nice or positive. I can't blame you, really, my reputation is bad and it's justified. I've been trying for the past 1.5-2 months to keep a lower profile and change the way i behave, and i think overall that i'm doing okay (still got a way to go and a lot to improve but.. it's a starter), but the past haunts, and reputation doesn't change overnight. So I want to take this chance to say i'm sorry, and that I hope that I can change the way people think about me, cause it's not fun to play like this - knowing that you're a nuisance, or knowing that a lot of people don't like you. It's a small community, we don't have 100k+ users, this is a tight community and pretty much everyone knows everyone at this point, mostly the 'veterans' that's been here for many years. Comment or not, read all that or not - that's up to you. I promise i'm trying to do better. That's all I wanted to say, thank you for your time.
Knowing your own shortcomings is great, but I don't think being apologetic and pull all the blame onto yourself is good. I'm talking on general social interactions & experiences, not exclusively to this community or this game. It's great to self-improve and look into yourself, but frankly, let everyone opinions about you out of the equation, keep on improving and find your own circle. Mistakes were made, you deal with it and move on. You can be a bad/annoying person and it's perfectly fine, let them hate you. Being a great person won't prevent someone with memory of a dog bring up some mess that you've done a year ago, fuck them sincerely . If someone let you live inside their head it's their choice, not your.
you can't please everyone, but you can please yourself. It all starts with introspection, with stopping and analyzing that if something you do affects those around you, then it's affecting you too. so it's good to consider a change for the better. this way you can have a calm and guilt-free mind. you learn, you stumble, you get back up, and you keep going
Hey bro, I'm glad we're similar in some ways, as I like to speak the truth and give my opinion from my perspective, but sometimes, when someone touches a nerve or debunks a lie, it obviously gets angry. Considering your comments, most of the time they're quite accurate and without any kind of reward (I respect that, sincerity above all). Also, it's a pleasure to say hello when I'm free and see you online. be good 0/ u pro 0/
