Get it off your chest!

Disclaimer: this is not directed at the MapleRoyals Staff in any way. shape, or form. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the staff, and the server itself.
This is purely me blowing off some steam. Don't judge

Spoiler

Like, jesus freaking christ, how can you be so incompetent and have the server be like this? You have literally turned a 48 hours patch into a patch that is taking more than 10% of a fucking YEAR.
Unforeseen problems happening are a no brainer, ofc they are gonna happen, but this is just plain unacceptable. It is almost like, you knew this was going to happen, if things we're tested, this should not have happened in the first place.
The game is not even basically functional after more than a month.
Don't even get me started about even loading maple in the first place, because god forbid you actually have a computer with windows that was built in the last 5 years YOU CANT EVEN LOAD MAPLE.
None of the solutions work to load maple, lolwut, nothing.
if I am lucky, I can get on once a week, and that is if im lucky. and if I can even get on, nothing to do.
Maybe I wouldn't be so mad, League wasnt the most tilting game in the world.
If you have ever played league, which is like all I play now, you would know why I am so tilted all the time
I love MapleRoyals and I am going to be here until this server gets shut down or dies.
Im not going to go play other maplestory servers while I wait for the server to be basically functional.
I just want mapleroyals to be back to functionality so I can come home from a crazy school day and relax.

 

One and a half years later. Still struggling with this.
Borrowing words because my brain doesnt like to come up with its own words.
And when I do, it backfires on me anyway.
People get mad at me for not being clear. For saying something wrong, for supposedly lying.
I'm not lying. I'm not trying to be wrong. I'm not trying to mislead.
My brain does not allow me to word things right on a normal basis. When I'm under stress or pressure, it's even worse.
IRL it turns into me going nonverbal, or barely verbal at all. I won't talk. I can't talk. Can't physically speak without it coming out like a garbled mess.

To you it might sound like excuses.
To me it's my daily life.
You aren't in my head. You aren't living with my brain, my abilities or disabilities. You haven't lived my life.
I'm a human, and I'm also a very sensitive one too.

This is my life. And I hope you're happy that you brought me to tears, on an already bad day. I hope you see past this and see that I really am a good person, and I really do have the best interests at heart.

"Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they become the worse type of person.
Unfortunately, they end up hurting themselves in the long run. They don’t want to hurt other people. It is against their very nature. They want to make amends and undo the wrong they did.
Their life is a wave of highs and lows. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others.
However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing, and the ones that often become activists for the broken hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved."
― Shannon L. Alder

 

Spoiler

I just can not stop hating myself for my goofy nature, as it truly interferes negatively with my social interactions.
Behind all the jokes and laughter there's a real serious person, and perhaps even one of the most serious ones out there, but a lot of people can not see through this mask and it hurts a lot.
It results in me being treated poorly over and over again, and at times it makes me feel depressed.
I just wish they could see that behind that fake smile, there's a tear of sadness, but sadly they don't and thus I'll just have to deal with it by myself.
I hope that one day I can cleanse myself from having to hide behind these fake emotions, so I can truly be myself and live the way I'm supposed to, and hopefully get treated the way I want to be.

 

That moment when you realise that your "friends" have been talking shit about you and been spreading lies behind your back. Now I have like no friends in my current school and I have 1,5 years left in that hellhole. I have no fucking idea what to do cause everyone is a dick and the only people I thought I knew came out to be dicks too. The bullying doesn't help either, I have 3 seperate groups trying to fuck with me and I'm by myself trying to get through my day. Fuck.

First moment in my life when I litteraly have no fucking idea what to do

 

I do nice shit for these girls and get shit back I'm starting a spot the thot movement and calling out all these hoes

 

I feel like I'm going in circles

 

Spoiler

After waking up and reading your message.. I just sat there formulating a response. The response took me far too long because I didn't know what to say, but I eventually replied. It's so heartbreaking to read your response to me -- "I guess you don't understand me". To be honest, I don't think I'd ever be able to fully understand you. I never get the chance to get to know you better and when I try to talk to you, you end up falling asleep on me or we'd have these 10 minute long silences. I don't like how you don't try to make an effort to know me better. I find it so difficult to tell you about myself because you never ask me.

I've been laying in my bed for 3+ hours now just thinking.. and even spent a good 30 minutes just crying over this because I don't know what to do. I really want this to work out but distance is something that's stopping us. I feel like it's such a burden on my end because I'm not taking the initiative to go and meet you. I'm scared it won't work out the way I want it to.

I feel so weak, vulnerable, and unsure what to do.

 

Wenger needs to get the fuck out of Arsenal you are corrupting your legacy you . Leave and take the filthy tumor of a board with you you fuckboy. You look like an oxygenated apple

 

Spoiler

Dick, you give me a maybe?
Im the one who approached you and said, "wanna hang out sometime and get a drink or something" and you give me a maybe.
You should be the one asking me, flirt with me a shit ton and give me a maybe. *rolls eyes*
idk what your fking standards are but im fking hot and a catch.

 

Lol done putting any effort into anyone

 

I don't know how to tell you but I'll figure it out.... hopefully sooner than later.

 

Fuck you for writing essays on this forum. i dont need to read through your book of bullshit. go and play outside

 

Florida why are you so freaking hot. It's Feb. It shouldn't be 80 degrees outside. Knock it the fuck off and go back to being cold again.
Sincerely, someone who hates the heat, is stuck in Florida due to taking care of their disabled mother, and wants to enjoy WINTER.

 

Midget porn is fun man I can't help it

 

-follow up from previous post-

You weren't worth my time, my feelings, or my tears.

I should've known better than to shed tears over a guy who didn't give me the same level of respect that they expected.

I'm also grateful for the few close friends from Royals who listened to me rant about this for the past couple of days. I wasn't sure who to go to because my friends irl were ones who I didn't want to share this with (for various reasons).

I really appreciate it because I needed someone there for me to let me vent/rant/cry.

 

I'm thinking of being a sound cloud rapper.

 

I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.

 

I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.

 

will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.
I will not go crazy and kill people while waiting for this server to function completely.