Post your best dad jokes

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Spoiler: Answer

Because if they had 4, they'd be chicken sedans

 

Why do people scuba diving fall off the boat backwards?

Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

 

This one is my dads go-to.

What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?

Spoiler: Answer

A bagel

 

Or the one everyone knows:

"I'm _____ (tired, hungry, sad)
"Hi _____, I'm Dad."

 

My dad IS a joke

 

What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock?
Look dad, no hands.

 

Dad : I don't trust stairs....
Kid: Why?

Spoiler

They are always UP to something

 

I bought shoes from a drug dealer once.

I dunno what he laced em with, but I was trippin all day.

 

2 cookies in an oven;
Cookie 1: omg it's so hot in here
Cookie 2: wtf a talking cookie!

 

My dad and I went to the grocery store together and the cashier asked, "Would you like your orange juice in a bag?" and he responded, "No, just leave it in the jug."

 

@Brange

 

I once played hide-and-seek with my dad. To this day, I still haven't found out where he hid.

 

Waiter: Are you finished with you meal?
Me: No, I am Norwegian

 

Don't settle for SHAM-poo, demand REAL poo!

 

Comedian to crowd: "Are you all alright?"
*awkward silence*
Comedian: "No, you are all all left!"