I'm finding it really hard to keep moving forward. It seems as soon as things start to look up for me, life throws me another shit sandwich. I just don't know how long I can keep going in this cycle until I just stop trying. I knew life wouldn't be easy but having one thing after another consistently tearing you down, it eats away at your spirit pretty quickly. Pretty soon the will just fades away. I won't go into specifics, I don't want pity, just insight on how you guys may deal with it. thanks
Take 30 minutes for yourself, every day, without fail. 30 minutes where you sit and relax, or do something you enjoy, purely for your own sake. Not homework, not showering, not shopping, not dealing with people. Turn off your phone, if necessary. That 30 minutes belongs to you and you only. At first, you might be bored and fidgety; you might have racing thoughts about your problems or the time you're "wasting." Eventually, it'll become a centering point for your day and your life in general; it's like a tiny vacation every day.* If you already have too much idle time (definitely a valid source of anxiety), block off that same 30 minutes and change your environment. Sit outside in the sun rather than mapling. Bring a thermos of tea downtown, sit on a bench, and people watch. Try to find the daytime moon in the sky, and imagine that you're floating towards it. Be kind to yourself. You're the actor and director of your life, and no one is more worthy of your love and care than you. *I do it twice a day because, frankly, I consider myself worth it. 30 minutes in the sun with music, 30 minutes stargazing with decaf tea at night.
We, as humans, are too focused on improving rather than appreciating in my opinion. I try my best to see how good things are now in my life as opposed to a few years ago when drugs were a prevalent part of my life. I hope you are doing well and able to push through the hard things in life! Sometimes we must endure the pain to feel happiness. Also play more Royals.
Well I don’t understand exactly what your going through, but what helps me through hard times is being inspired by stories, both fictional and non fictional regardless of the medium. Sometimes what people need is to see someone else that is going through incredible hardships (often an even more desperate situation than we find ourselves in), but are still able to move forward with great determination. When I see such things in a story or even real life, it makes me realize I cant be relying on excuses of any kind and it gives me the will to bite down and be willing to swim through the mud towards my goals. Imagine this. You’re running a marathon that you are determined to do your best in. You run a significant distance without stopping and you feel that you are at your limit and that you really tried your best. So you stop and begin to walk the rest of the way. After a minute however, someone runs past you, someone that is obviously isn’t as fit as you are and looks like a mental retard because he’s heaving and heavily breaking form due to extreme fatigue. But despite how much pain and agony he obviously is in he continues to run until he is beyond your sight. After witnessing this you probably won’t be able to go home and honestly tell yourself you really tried your best. Watching people or characters tackle their upper limits with undying determination despite all the their set backs, makes all my excuses feel worthless. It shows me that my problems are no justification to not being able to achieve something. And when the excuses are off the table, it leaves me with the idea that I can still try harder, that this is not my limit. Don’t get me wrong, I am not underplaying hardships of any kind. But having other people’s understanding and pity because you have a good reason for giving up isn’t going to get you what you want. Realize and be prepared that to achieve the things that are important to you, you are going to have to be willing to swallow dirt and force yourself through thorns. Some are fortunate enough to not have to do this to get where they want, however most are not. Don’t expect to overcome anything significant without rips and bruises and you will find yourself less effected by hardships that come your way. Continuously feed yourself with inspiration. When I am inspired by something it may only last a few days. However as you keep finding and witness inspiring stories or events, they continue to stack and become a strong foundation that you can think back on when things get tough. But even then you need to continue faning the flames. Well it’s a long ass post lol. Im not sure if you’re the type of person to really be effected by my advice here or if it applies to what you are going through, however I hope you find your motivation to continue the fight nonetheless.
How I cope...one foot in front followed by the other. Tackle one issue at a time. What I mentioned above and deleting my Facebook account. heh Chin up, fellow Royaller. When I was going thru my own shit storm...someone told me, "it will soon pass". Looking in hindsight, it did.
I love this post. Very personally relevant to me in my life right now too. To OP, it might not be much condolence, but I went through by far the darkest time of my entire life the last half year or so. For weeks, turned into months on end, I felt like I was living in a nightmare and couldn't wake up. Nothing felt real, I felt alone and worthless, like all my past effort in my entire life was for nothing and there was no hope. I couldn't grasp the reality of my current situation, and nothing anyone told me or I did made me feel better. But one day it will get better. To get back to that happy place, try to find people who do care. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, every single day, and one day you'll find you've got somewhere. Just sit down, and get stuff done. Or go out and get stuff done. Find people who inspire you and give you hope for the future. Find those meaningful relationships with people. If the current people you're around make you feel alone, find new people. Whatever is making you upset, address it and reach out to people for help or dig deep within. Keep trying, I believe in you OP.
Thank you all for your replies. You've given me a lot to dwell on. I suppose the only thing to do from here on out is to close this chapter of my life and shape a new one that I can take pride in. Thanks again, I know I've only been here a short time, but this community truly is uniquely amazing in the amount of support and compassion from its user base.
Good thread, very interesting. I suggest going to a quiet place, without many people around if at all. And use that place and time to think with yourself, what you're going to do in the near future with yourself. The silence and free time for yourself, helps think better. If you do it in a place with a lot of people and noise, you simply can't focus on any thoughts. Good examples - Empty beach, small forest, etc. - something in the nature or outside. Personally I never liked to try doing it at home or a private room, its not the same vibe as good nature.
So this is a good video on self worth when you're going through rough times. One thing that has helped me through life as a whole is philosophy, specially the stoics (there is a good introductory website called Daily Stoics which has good books). Also, there is a good book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. It's really good book to revisit your vision of life and the predetermined importance we give to certain events and things that happen to us. Although these might not be specific things to do at a given time, they might help you develop more strength to battle through these tough times. Hope it helps!
You might want to talk to your doctor and tell them how you feel. Therapy and/or meds can do wonders. Also you need to make sure you get enough sleep because it can really affect your perception of reality.
Going on is hard. I guess the best way to deal with it is just keep on moving on. On top of that, some people need better advice from professional help such as psychiatrist (medications, when diagnosed) or psychologist, which is more verbal help. I’m not one and neither is anyone here, so this is not the best place to get help from. I think your situation needs to be addressed in real life and by people who knows their stuff and I hope you’ve done so, and if not you should certainly do so. Mental health is no joke and is just as important as physical help, as both can be lethal. P.S. Message me if you want you know where to find me P.P.S. I actually disagree with some suggestions here to isolate yourself, which is what started the thoughts in the first place. Surround yourself with people who truly love you and care for you, such as friends and/or family - that can do wonders!
get plenty of sleep, good food, and a little sugar or caffeine here and there to keep you going. it's really amazing the difference is between trying to function on 8 hrs of sleep versus...well, less than that. honestly? looking for the small positive things in life helps me, too. if tiny negatives can build up to one great big negative, the same applies in reverse. stopping to smell the roses and appreciate the smaller things in life helps to refresh the brain's stress capacities. the biggest helper for me is to simply stop worrying about everything all the time. stop worrying about the future, the present, drop any anxieties towards past actions...just let it all be water off your back. go with the flow. roll with the punches. "仕方がない" is a phrase I've really been liking the past few weeks and it isn't just because i'm a lowkey weeb. sometimes, Shit Happens™, but it'll only get worse if you let it drag you down. keep going. things will get better. now? soon? who knows. but the only way to find out is to keep going.
Probably not as heavy and deep like the rest of the comments up here, but if you have any hobby, use it as motivation. Let's take sports for example. Pick a day or two in the week that you go out and do the activity of your choice. Before you realize, you will be so busy expecting that day, which will cause the rest of the week to feel short, or even non existent. I have passed almost a year without noticing after deciding that 1 day of the week is my day to play basketball. Did the same thing back in 9th grade with a diabolo(chinese yo-yo). Basically everything that has a learning curve or that is physically demanding will be great. Although you might have quit by now, this thread is filled with great motivation and inspiring comments to help out whoever needs it.
