A genuine spammy give away thread.

I want to win evans walnut

 

OwO Evan, I want your walnut OwO

This was cringey af and I did not enjoy writing this one bit

 

Spoiler: Don't click this.

Scene:
A neighbourhood on a street called Privet Drive. An owl, sitting on the street sign flies off to reveal a mysterious appearing old man walking through a forest near the street. He stops at the start of the street and takes out a mechanical device and zaps all the light out of the lampposts. He puts away the device and a cat meows. The man, ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, looks down at the cat, which is a tabby and is sitting on a brick ledge.

Dumbledore: I should have known that you would be here...Professor McGonagall.

The cat meows, sniffs out and the camera pans back to a wall. The cats shadow is seen progressing into a human. There are footsteps and MINERVA MCGONAGALL is revealed.


McGonagall: Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. Are the rumours true, Albus?


Dumbledore: I'm afraid so, Professor. The good, and the bad.

McGonagall: And the boy?

Dumbledore: Hagrid is bringing him.

McGonagall: Do you think it wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?

Albus: Ah, Professor, I would trust Hagrid with my life.


There is a motor sound, and the two professors look up to see a flying motorcycle coming down from the air. It skids on the street and halts. A large man, RUBEUS HAGRID, takes off his goggles.


Hagrid: Professor Dumbledore, Sir. Professor McGonagall.

Dumbledore: No problems, I trust, Hagrid?

Hagrid: No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol. Heh. Try not to wake him. There you go.


Hagrid hands a baby in a blanket over to Dumbledore.


McGonagall: Albus, do you really think its safe, leaving him with these people? I've been watching them all day. They're the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They really are

Dumbledore: The only family he has.


They stop outside a house.


McGonagall: This boy will be famous. There wont be a child in our world who doesn't know his name.

Dumbledore: Exactly. He's better off growing up away from all that. Until he is ready.


Hagrid coughs and sniffles, he is crying. He clears his throat.


Dumbledore: There, there, Hagrid. It's not really good-bye, after all.


Hagrid nods. Dumbledore takes a letter and places it on the baby, who is now at the foot of the door. The baby has a visible lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.


Dumbledore: Good luck...Harry Potter.


The camera pans into the scar and the opening title shows:

HARRY POTTER AND THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE






Almost ten years after the: DURSLEY's home. The camera pans on a sleeping boy, almost eleven, with a lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead.

There is a click, and knocking. Outside, a tall woman, PETUNIA DURSLEY, raps the door.


Petunia: Up. Get up. {Knocks} {sighs} Now! {Smacks door of closet which is the boys bedroom}


A large, tubby boy, DUDLEY DURSLEY, suddenly comes running down the stairs above the closet. He stops half-way down and goes back, jumping on the staircase.


Dudley: Wake up, cousin! We're going to the zoo!


Dudley laughs, comes down the stairs and runs for the kitchen. The boy, HARRY POTTER, tries to come out of the closet, but is pushed back in by Dudley.


Petunia is in the kitchen, where Dudley has gone.


Petunia: Oh, here he comes, the birthday boy!


A larger man, VERNON DURSLEY, is sitting at the kitchen table.


Vernon: Happy birthday, son.


Petunia and Dudley giggle together. Harry comes into the kitchen, dressed in rags.


Petunia: Why don't you just cook the breakfast, and try not to burn anything.

Harry: Yes, Aunt Petunia.


He sets to work.


Petunia: I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day.

Vernon: Hurry up! Bring my coffee, boy!

Harry: Yes, Uncle Vernon.


Petunia leads Dudley over to the family room, where there are a vast amount of presents. Dudley stares.


Dudley: How many are there?

Vernon: Thirty-six. Counted 'em myself.

Dudley: Thirty-six?! But last year last year I got thirty-seven!!

Vernon: Yes, well, some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year!

Dudley: I don't care how big they are!

Petunia: Oh, now, now, now. This is what we're going to do, is that when we go out we're going to buy you two new presents! How's that, Pumpkin?


Scene:

Outside, morning. The happy family is heading to the car. Harry goes to get in but is stopped by Vernon.


Petunia: This will be a lovely day at the zoo. I'm really looking forward to it.

Vernon: I'm warning you now, boy. Any funny business, any at all, and you won't have any meals for a week. Get in.


Scene:

The zoo. The family is in the reptile house, looking at a large BOA CONSTRICTOR.


Dudley: Make it move.

Vernon raps the glass of the cage.


Vernon: Move!


Dudley raps the glass much harder, and Vernon winces.


Dudley: MOVE!

Harry: He's asleep!

Dudley: He's boring.


Dudley and his parents retreat to another enclosure. Harry is left with the snake.


Harry: Sorry about him. He doesn't understand what it's like, lying there day after day, having people press their ugly faces in on you.


The snake looks up and blinks.


Harry: Can you...hear me? {The snake nods} It's just...I've never talked to a snake before. Do you...I mean...do you talk to people often? {The snake shakes its head} You're from Burma, aren't you? Was it nice there, do you miss your family? {The snake turns its head in the direction of a sign which says, Bred in Captivity} I see. That's me as well. I never knew my parents, either.


The now awake snake has attracted Dudley's attention. He rips over to the cage, knocking Harry to the floor.


Dudley: Mummy, dad, come here! You won't believe what this snake is doing!!


Dudley puts his hands on the glass wall. Harry, from the ground, glares at him. Suddenly, the glass disappears. Dudley wretches forward.


Dudley: Whoa! Ahh! Ahh!!


Dudley falls into the snake enclosure, sputtering in a pool of water. The snake gets out of the exhibit, stopping in front of Harry.


Snake: Thankssssssss.

Harry: Anytime.


The snake starts off.


Man: SNAKE!


There is a lot of screaming as the snake heads for freedom. Dudley gets up to get out, but the glass is now back over the enclosure. He is stuck. He pounds the glass.


Dudley: Mum, mummy!

Petunia: {Sees him} AHH!

Dudley: Mum, help! Help me!

Petunia: My darling boy! How did you get in there?!

Harry: {Grins and giggles}


Vernon glares down at him and Harry's grin disappears. Petunia continues screaming: How did you get in there? Dursley, oh, Dursley!


Scene:

Back at the Dursley's. Petunia and a bundled up Dudley come in.

Petunia: It's all right. It's all right.


They disappear around the corner. Harry and Vernon enter. Vernon slams the door and shoves Harry against a wall, taking his hair.


Harry: Ow!

Vernon: What happened?

Harry: I swear I don't know! One minute the glass was there and then it was gone! It was like magic!

Vernon: {Scoffs and shoves Harry into the closet} There's no such thing as magic!


Scene:

Outside, some time later. An owl flies by the house and drops a letter, which zooms in the letterbox. It lands away from the house and hoots.

Harry, inside, goes to collect the mail. He sorts through the letters and sees his, addressed to him. He goes into the kitchen, hands Vernon the rest of the mail, and walks around the other side of the table to see his letter.


Vernon: Ah, Marge is ill. Ate a funny whelk.

Dudley: {Sees Harrys letter. He runs and grabs it} Dad, look! Harry's got a letter!!

Harry: Hey, give it back! It's mine!

Vernon: {Laughs} Yours? Who'd be writing to you?


The family gathers to look at the address. There is a broken seal on the letter. The family looks up and Harry gulps.


Scene:

Another owl flies by with a letter and drops it off. Inside, Vernon grabs a handful of letters and rips them up.

In the closet, Harry hears a whirring noise. He looks out at Vernon drilling wood over the letterbox opening.


Vernon: No more mail through this letterbox.


Scene:

Outside, Vernon and Petunia appear. Vernon is about to head off to work. Petunia kisses his cheek.


Petunia: Have a lovely day at the office, dear.


She stops, looks and sees a bunch of owls.


Vernon: Shoo! Go on!


Scene:

Inside. Vernon is tossing letters into the fireplace. Harry comes around the corner. Vernon grins evilly and tosses more in.


Scene:

Living/Family room. The family is sitting around, Harry is serving cookies.


Vernon: Fine day Sunday. In my opinion, best day of the week. Why is that, Dudley?


Dudley shrugs.


Harry: {Hands cookie to Vernon} Because there's no post on Sunday? Ah, right you are, Harry. No post on Sunday. Hah! No blasted letters today. No, sir. {Harry sees a shadow outside the window. Outside, millions of owls are perched.} No sir, not one blasted, miserable---


A letter shoots out of the fireplace and zips across Vernons face. There is a rumbling and then zillions of letters come shooting out of the fireplace.


Dudley: AHH! Make it stop! Please make it stop! {He jumps on Petunias lap}

Petunia and Vernon: {Screaming}

Vernon: Go away, ahh!

Dudley: What is it? Please tell me what's happening!


Harry jumps onto the coffee table to grab a letter. He gets one and starts to run away. Vernon jumps up as well.


Vernon: Give me that! Give me that letter!


He chases Harry and grabs him before Harry gets into his closet.


Harry: Get off! Ahh!

Vernon: Ahh!

Harry: They're my letters! Let go of me!

Vernon: That's it! We're going away! Far away! Where they can't find us!

Dudley: Daddy's gone mad, hasnt he?!


Scene:

A house, on a rock island somewhere out at sea. The family is sleeping, with Harry on the cold, dirt floor. He has drawn a birthday cake which reads, Happy Birthday Harry. Harry looks at Dudley's watch, which beeps 12:00.


Harry: Make a wish, Harry. {Blows}


Suddenly, the door thumps. Harry jumps. The door thumps again and Dudley and Harry jump up and back away. Petunia and Vernon appear, Vernon with a gun. The door bangs again and then cracks open, and a giant man appears.


Vernon: Who's there? Ahh!

Hagrid: Sorry 'bout that. {He puts the door back up}

Vernon: I demand that you leave at once, Sir! You are breaking and entering!

Petunia: Ooh.


Hagrid comes over, grabs the gun and bends it upwards.


Hagrid: Dry up, Dursley, you great prune. {The gun fires}

All: Ahh!

Hagrid: {sees Dudley} Mind, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a bit more along than I would have expected. Particularly 'round the middle!

Dudley: I-I-I'm not Harry.

Harry appears: I-I am.

Hagrid: Oh, well, of course you are! Got something for ya. 'Fraid I might have sat on it at some point! I imagine that it'll taste fine just the same. Ahh. Baked it myself. {Hands Harry the cake} Words and all. Heh.

Harry: Thank you! {Opens cake, which reads: Happee Birdae Harry.}

Hagrid: It's not every day that your young man turns eleven, now is it?


Hagrid sits down on the couch, takes out an umbrella and points it at the empty fire. Poof, poof! Two sparks fly out and the fire starts. The family gapes.


Harry: {puts cake down} Excuse me, who are you?

Hagrid: Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts. Course, you'll know all about Hogwarts.

Harry: Sorry, no.

Hagrid: No? Blimey, Harry, didn't you ever wonder where your mum and dad learned it all?

Harry: Learnt what?

Hagrid: You're a wizard, Harry.

Harry: I-I'm a what?

Harry: A wizard. And a thumping good one at that, I'd wager. Once you train up a little.

Harry: No, you've made a mistake. I can't be...a-a wizard. I mean, I'm just... Harry. Just Harry.

Hagrid: Well, Just Harry, did you ever make anything happen? Anything you couldn't explain when you were angry or scared? {Harry softens his expression} Ah.

Dudley: {whimpers}


Hagrid hands Harry the same letter that has been sent the past while. Harry opens it.


Harry: Dear, Mr. Potter. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts' School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Vernon: Hell not be going! We swore when we took him in wed put an end to this rubbish!

Harry: You knew?? You knew all along and you never told me?

Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. Oh, my mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful? I was the only one to see her for what she was. A freak! And then she met that Potter, and then she had you, and I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as ... abnormal. And then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up! And we got landed with you.

Harry: Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash!

Hagrid: A car crash? A car crash kill James and Lily Potter?

Petunia: We had to tell him something.

Hagrid: It's an outrage! It's a scandal!

Vernon: He'll not be going!

Hagrid: Oh, and I suppose a great Muggle like yourself's going to stop him, are you?

Harry: Muggle?

Hagrid: Non magic folk. This boy's had his name down ever since he was born! He's going to the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world, and he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts' has ever seen: Albus Dumbledore.

Vernon: I will not pay for some crackpot old fool to teach him magic tricks!

Hagrid: {whips out umbrella and points it at Vernon} Never insult Albus Dumbledore in front of me.


Hagrid sees Dudley eating Harry's cake, and points the umbrella at his rear. A grey tail grows.


Dudley: Ahh!

All: Ahh! {family chases Dudley}

Harry: {laughs}

Hagrid: Oh, um, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone at Hogwarts about that. Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to do magic.

Harry: {Nods} Okay.

Hagrid: {checks a clock} Ooh, we're a bit behind schedule. Best be off. Unless you'd rather stay, of course. Hmm? {Leaves}


Harry grins, looks back, and grins again.


Scene:

Streets of London. Hagrid and Harry are walking.

Harry: All students must be equipped with...one standard size two pewter cauldron and may bring if they desire either an owl, a cat or a toad. Can we find all this in London?

Hagrid: If you know where to go.


They go to a corner store and enter, The Leaky Cauldron.

{Music and talking}


Barkeep Tom: Ah, Hagrid! The usual, I presume?

Hagrid: No thanks, Tom. I'm on official Hogwarts business today. Just helping young Harry here buy his school supplies.

Tom: Bless my soul. It's Harry Potter.


The pub goes silent. A man comes up and shakes Harrys hand.


Man: Welcome back, Mr. Potter, welcome back.


A witch comes up and shakes Harrys hand, as well.


Witch: Doris Crockford, Mr. Potter. I can't believe I'm meeting you at last.


A man in robes with a turban on his head appears. It is PROFESSOR QUIRRELL.


Quirrell: Harry P-potter. C-can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you.

Hagrid: Hello, Professor. I didn't see you there. Harry, this is Professor Quirrell. He'll be your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.

Harry: Oh, nice to meet you. {Puts out hand. Quirrell refuses}

Quirrell: F-fearfully fascinating subject. N-not that you need it, e-eh, Potter? Heheh.

Hagrid: Yes, well, must be going now. Lots to buy. Heh.

Harry: Good-bye.


The two leave into a back room winery in front of a brick wall.


Hagrid: See, Harry, you're famous!

Harry: But why am I famous, Hagrid? All those people back there, how is it they know who I am?

Hagrid: I'm not exactly sure I'm the right person to tell you that, Harry. {Taps the brick wall clockwise with his umbrella. The blocks shift and open up to reveal a hidden, busy street.}

Welcome, Harry, to Diagon Alley.


Harry grins broadly as they step into the street and walk down it. An owl screeches.


Hagrid: Here's where you'll get your quills and ink, and over there all your bits and bobs for doing your wizardry.


Harry is amazed as they pass by shops and owls and bats. The camera pans on a broom store, where a group of boys are crowded around a shiny broom.


Boy: It's a world class racing broom. Look at it, its the new Nimbus 2000! It's the fastest model yet.

Harry: But, Hagrid, how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money.

Hagrid: Well there's your money, Harry. Gringotts, the Wizard Bank. T'aint no place safer, 'cept perhaps Hogwarts.


Inside the bank, they walk down the shiny aisle, passing tiny creatures working.


Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly are those things?

Hagrid: They're goblins, Harry. Clever as they come goblins but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stick close to me. {Harrysticks to him.} {Hagrid clears his throat as they approach a counter with a goblin in it.} Mr. Harry Potter wishes to make a withdrawal.


The goblin looks up.


Goblin: And does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?

Hagrid: Oh. Wait a minute. Got it here somewhere. Hah. Here's the little devil. Oh, and there's something else as well. ProfessorDumbledore gave me this. It's about you-know-what in vault you-know-which. {Hands Goblin letter wrapped in string.}

Goblin: Very well.


Scene:

Racing down the depth caverns in a cartlike structure. The cart stops, a goblin, GRIPHOOK, clambers out.


Griphook: Vault 687. Lamp, please. {Hagrid hands him the lamp and he walks to the vault} Key please. {Hagrid hands him the key and he unlocks it}


The room is filled nearly top to bottom with coins. Harry is amazed.


Hagrid: Didn't think your mum and dad would leave you with nothing, now didja?


They continue on through the cavern.


Griphook: Vault 713.

Harry: What's in there, Hagrid?

Hagrid: Can't tell you, Harry. It's Hogwarts business. Very secret.

Griphook: Stand back. {Slides finger down the door. Clank. Clank. The vault opens to expose a small white stone package. Hagrid hurries in and scoops it up. The eerie light it was shining with disappears.}


Hagrid: Best not mention this to anyone, Harry.

Harry nods.


Scene: Outside in the street, walking.


Harry: I still need...a wand.

Hagrid: A wand? Well, you'll want Ollivanders. No place better. Run along there, but wait. I just got one more thing I got to do. Won't be long.


Harry goes into the store, quietly. He looks around. There are shelves of wands, but no people.


Harry: {Softly} Hello? Hello?


There is a thunk. A man appears on a ladder and looks at Harry. He smiles.


Ollivander: I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter. It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here buying their first wands. {Picks a wand} Ah. Here we are. {Harry holds it but just stands} Well, give it a wave.

Harry: Oh! {waves. All the shelves come crashing down. Harry jumps and hurriedly puts the wand back on the counter.}

Ollivander: Apparently not. {Gets another wand.} Perhaps this. {Harry waves at a vase, which blows apart.} No, no, definitely not! No matter...{gets a wand} I wonder. {Hands wand to Harry. Harry glows under it.} Curious, very curious.

Harry: Sorry, but what's curious?

Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resides in your wand gave one other feather, just one. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar. {Points to scar}

Harry: And...who owned that wand?

Ollivander: Oh, we do not speak his name. The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. It's not always clear why, but I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things...terrible, yes, but great. {Hands Harry his wand.}


There is a knock on the window.


Hagrid: Harry! Harry! Happy birthday! {Has a snowy owl in a cage which hoots.}

Harry: Wow.


Scene: Later, eating supper. The two, Hagrid and Harry, are at a long table, eating soup.


Hagrid: You all right, Harry? You seem very quiet.

Harry: He killed my parents, didn't he? The one who gave me this. You know, Hagrid, I know you do.

Hagrid: {Sighs and pushes bowl away} First, and understand this, Harry, 'cause it's very important. Not all wizards are good. Some of them go bad. A few years ago there was one wizard who went as bad as you can go. And his name was V-...his name was V-...

Harry: Maybe if you wrote it down?

Hagrid: No, I can't spell it. All right. His name was Voldemort.

Harry: Voldemort?

Hagrid: Shh!!

{Harry looks around}


A flashback ensues, consisting off a cloaked man walking towards a house, breaking in with his wand, and proceeding to terrorize. Hagrid narrates.


Hagrid: It was dark times, Harry, dark times. Voldemort started to gather some followers, brought 'em over to the dark side. Anyone that stood up to him ended up dead. Your parents fought against him, but nobody lived once he decided to kill 'em. {Harrys mother, LILY, screams as she is killed by Voldemorts wand} Nobody...not one. Except you. {close-up of baby Harry.}

Harry: Me? Voldemort tried to kill...me?

Hagrid: Yes. That ain't no ordinary cut on your forehead, Harry. A mark like that only comes from being touched by a curse...and an evil curse at that.

Harry: What happened to Vo-...to You-Know-Who?

Hagrid: Some say he died. Codswallop in my opinion. Nope, I reckon he's out there, still, too tired to go on. But one thing's absolutely certain. Something about you stumped him that night. That's why you're famous, Harry. That's why everbody knows your name. You're the boy who lived.






Scene: London Train Station. Up on a crossing bridge, Harry (with cart and owl) walk beside Hagrid.


A couple look at Hagrid.


Hagrid: What're you looking at? {Looks at watch} Blimey, is that the time?? Sorry, Harry, I'm gonna have to leave you. Dumbledore'll be wanting his...well, he'll be wanting to see me. Now, uh, your train leaves in 10 minutes. Here's your ticket. Stick to it, Harry that's very important. Stick to your ticket.


Harry looks at his golden ticket.


Harry: Platform 9 ¾? But Hagrid, there must be a mistake. This says Platform 9 ¾. There's no such thing...is there? {Harrylooks up and Hagrid has vanished.}


Scene: Harry is walking down lane between trains. A man rushes by.


Man: Sorry.

Harry sees a train master.

Harry: Excuse me, excuse me.

Trainmaster: {talking to woman and child} Right on your left, ma'am.

Harry: Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me where I might find Platform 9 ¾?

Trainmaster: 9 ¾? Think youre being funny, do ya? {Leaves}


A woman, daughter, and four boys walk by, pushing carts.


Mrs. Weasley: It's the same year after year. Always packed with Muggles, of course.

Harry: Muggles?

Mrs. Weasley: Come on. Platform 9 ¾ this way! All right, Percy, you first.


A tall boy with red hair comes forward and runs towards a brick wall. Amazingly, he disappears right into it. Harry is amazed.


Mrs. Weasley: Fred, you next.

George: He's not Fred, I am!

Fred: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother!

Mrs. Weasley: Oh, I'm sorry, George.

Fred: I'm only joking. I am Fred. {He runs through the wall, and is followed by his twin brother.}


Harry shakes his head in disbelief.


Harry: Excuse me! C-could you tell me how to

Mrs. Weasley: How to get on the platform? Yes, not to worry, dear. It's Ron's first time to Hogwarts as well. {pan to a red haired boy who smiles} Now, all you've got to do is walk straight at the wall between platforms 9 and 10. Best do it at a bit of a run if youre nervous.

Ginny (daughter): Good luck.


Harry takes a breath and runs at the wall. He shuts his eyes and emerges on the other side a magnificent station with a red train and bundles of people. A whistle blows, and Harry sighs with relief.


Scene: The train is traveling through unknown country. Pan to inside compartment, where Harry is sitting. The red headed boy, RON, appears, dirt on his nose.


Ron: Excuse me, do you mind? Everywhere else is full.

Harry: No, not at all.

Ron: {sits across from Harry} I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley.

Harry: I'm Harry. Harry Potter.

{Ron goes agape.}

Ron: So-so it's true?! I mean, do you really have the...the...

Harry: The what?

Ron: {whispers} Scar...?

Harry: Oh, yeah. {lifts up hair}

Ron: Wicked.

A trolley comes by the compartment, full of sweets.

Woman: Anything off the trolley, dears?

Ron: {Holds up mushed sandwiches} No, thanks, I'm all set. {smacks lips.}

Harry: {pulls out coins} We'll take the lot!

Ron: Whoa!


Scene: Eating bundles of sweets.

Ron's rat, Scabbers, is perched on Ron's knee, a box over its head.


Harry: Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?

Ron: They mean every flavour! There's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe. George sweared he got a bogey-flavoured one once!


Harry quickly takes the bean he was chewing out of his mouth.


Harry: {picks up blue and gold package} These aren't real chocolate frogs, are they?

Ron: It's only a spell. Besides, it's the cards you want. Each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. I got about 500 meself.

Frog: Ribbit. {The frog jumps onto the window and climbs up, then leaps out the window...disappearing.}

Ron: Oh, that's rotten luck. They've only got one good jump in them to begin with.

Harry: Hey, I got Dumbledore!

Ron: I got about 6 of him.

Harry: Hey, he's gone!

Ron: Well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you? {Scabbers squeaks} This is Scabbers, by the way, pitiful, isn't he?

Harry: Just a little bit.

Ron: Fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. Want to see?

Harry: Yeah!

Ron: {clears throat} Ahem. Sun-


A girl, HERMIONE GRANGER, with bushy brown hair appears at the doorway.


Hermione: Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one.

Ron: No.

Hermione: Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.

Ron: Aghhhemm. Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!

{Zap. Nothing happens. Ron shrugs.}

Hermione: Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple spells myself, and they've all worked for me. For example...{Hermione goes over and sits across from Harry. He points her hand at his glasses and Harry tenses} Oculus Reparo. {The glasses, which noseband is battered, are repaired. Harry takes them off, amazed.} That's better, isn't it? Holy Cricket, you're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger...and you are...?

Ron: {full mouth} I'm...Ron Weasley.

Hermione: Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon. {Gets up and leaves, then comes back and looks at Ron.} You've got dirt, on your nose, by the way, did you know? Just there. {Points} {Ron scratches his nose, embarrassed.}


Scene: Darkness, the train blows its whistle and pulls into an outdoor station. Hagrid walks along the side aisle, with a lantern. People begin pouring out of the train.


Hagrid: Right, then! First years! This way, please! Come on, now, don't be shy! Come on now, hurry up!


Harry and Ron walk up to Hagrid.


Hagrid: Hello, Harry.

Harry: Hey, Hagrid.

Ron: Whoaa!

Hagrid: Right then. This way to the boats! Come on, now, follow me.


Scene:

A number of boats are plugging across a vast lake, where up ahead a huge castle can be seen. People are in awe.

Ron: Wicked.


Scene: On a higher level, Professor McGonagall is waiting. She raps her fingers on a stone railing, and then goes to the top of the stairs to greet the newcomers.


McGonagall: Welcome to Hogwarts. Now, in a few moments, you will pass through these doors and join your classmates. But before you can take your seats you must be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Now, while you are here, your house will be like your family. Your triumphs will earn you house points. Any rule breaking, and you will lose points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup


NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM, a scared looking boy, spots his toad sitting near McGonagall. He jumps forward.


Neville: Trevor! {McGonagall stares down at him} Sorry. {He backs away.}

McGonagall: The sorting ceremony will begin momentarily. {leaves}


DRACO MALFOY, a slicked back evil looking boy speaks up.


Draco: It's true then, what they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. {Students whisper, Harry Potter?} This is Crabbe, and Goyle {nods to thugs} and I'm Malfoy...Draco Malfoy. {Ron snickers at his name} Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask yours. Red hair, and a hand me down robe? You must be a Weasley. Well soon find that some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. Dont want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there. {extends hand.}

Harry: I think I can tell who the wrong sort are for myself, thanks.


Draco glares. McGonagall returns and smacks him on the shoulder with a paper. He retreats with one last glare.


McGonagall: We're ready for you now.


She leads everyone through two large doors and into the Great Hall, where there are four long tables with many kids, as well as floating candles. The roof appears to be the sky.


Hermione: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History.

McGonagall: All right, will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbldedore would like to say a few words.


Dumbledore rises from the main table.


Dumbledore: I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch {signals to ragged old man with a cat with red eyes} has asked me to remind you that the 3rd floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you.

McGonagall: When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger.

Hermione: Oh, no. Okay, relax. {She goes up}

Ron: Mental that one, I'm telling you.

Harry nods in agreement.

Sorting Hat: Ah, right then...hmm...right. Okay...Gryffindor!!

(Cheering)


Hermione jumps off with a smile.


McGonagall: Draco Malfoy.


Draco saunters up proudly. The tattered hat nearly freaks before touching down on Dracos head.


Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!


Ron: There isn't a witch or wizard who went bad who wasnt in Slytherin.

McGonagall: Susan Bones.


A small, redhead goes up.

Harry looks around and spots a black haired, pale teacher, SEVERUS SNAPE, looking at him. His scar hurts.


Harry: Ahh! {puts hand on forehead}

Ron: Harry, what is it?

Harry: Nothing...it's nothing, I'm fine.


Sorting Hat: Let's see...I know...Hufflepuff!

McGonagall: Ronald Weasley.


Ron gulps and walks up. He sits down and the hat is put on.


Sorting Hat: Ah! Another Weasley. I know just where to put you...Gryffindor!!

Ron: {Sighs}

(Cheering)


McGonagall: Harry Potter.


Everything goes silent. Harry walks up and sits down.


Sorting Hat: Hmm...difficult, very difficult. Plenty of courage I see, not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?

Harry: {whispers} Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.

Sorting Hat: Not Slytherin, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. Its all here in your head. And Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness! There's no doubt about that! No? {Harry whispers: Not Slytherin...anything but Slytherin} Well, if youre sure...better be...GRYFFINDOR!!


There is an immense cheering and Harry goes to the Gryffindor table.

Fred and George are also there, and cheer: We got Potter! We got Potter! Harry sits down.


McGonagall: {dings on a cup} Your attention, please.

Dumbledore: Let the feast...begin.


Food magically appears on all the tables, and the hall is filled with awe and chatter.


Harry: Wow.


Draco looks at all the food, raises his eyebrows and digs in.

Ron stuffs his face.


SEAMUS FINNIGAN, a tiny boy, speaks.


Seamus: I'm half and half. Me dad's a Muggle. Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out.

Neville laughs.


Harry is sitting next to Percy. He leans over.


Harry: Say, Percy, who's that teacher talking to Professor Quirrell?

Percy: Oh, that's Professor Snape, head of Slytherin house.

Harry: What's he teach?

Percy: Potions. But everyone knows it's the Dark Arts he fancies. He's been after Quirrells job for years.


Ron, having just finished a chicken wing, reaches into the bowl for more, and a ghostly head, SIR NICHOLAS, pops out.


Ron: Ahh!

Nick: Hello! How are you? Welcome to Gryffindor.


Numerous ghosts come pouring from the walls, sailing along.


Hufflepuff ghost: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Girl: Look, its the Bloody Baron!

Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas. Have a nice summer?

Nick: Dismal. Once again, my request to join the headless hunt has been denied. {Begins to leave}

Ron: Hey, I know you! You're Nearly Headless Nick!

Nick: I prefer Sir Nicholas if you don't mind.

Hermione: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?

Nick: Like this. {Grabs head and pulls it to the side. His head is hanging on just by a thread.}

Ron: Ahh!

Hermione: Eugh.


Scene:

Percy is leading the Gryffindors to the staircases.


Percy: Gryffindors, follow me please. Keep up. Thank you.

Boy: Ravenclaw, follow me. This way.

Percy: This is the most direct path to the dormitories. Oh, and keep an eye on the staircases...they like to change.


The camera pans up and we see a vast amount of staircases, people walking on them, and some switching places.


Percy: Keep up, please, and follow me. Quickly now, come on. Come on. {They begin walking up the stairs}

Neville: Seamus, that picture's moving!

Ron: Look at that one, Harry!

Harry: I think she fancies you.

Girl: Oh, look! Look! Who's that girl?

Man in painting: Welcome to Hogwarts.

Girl: Who's that?


Scene:

Approaching the Gryffindor dorms. They come up to a large painting of a large woman in a pink dress.


Woman: Password?
Percy: Caput Draconis. {The woman nods and the painting opens to reveal a gape in the wall.} Follow me, everyone. Keep up, quickly, come on.

Girl: Oh, wow.

Percy: {Inside common room} Gather 'round here. Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room. Boys' dormitories, upstairs and down to your left. Girls, the same on your right. You'll find that your belongings have already been brought up.


Scene: Mid-night. Harry is sitting by a window in his pj's, with his owl, Hedwig. He pets the owl and looks out the window, sighing with content.






Scene: Morning. Harry and Ron are running through the stone halls to their class. They rush in. In the class, a tabby cat is sitting on a desk.


Ron: Whew, amazing, can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late?


The cat jumps off the desk and turns into Professor McGonagall. The two boys are amazed.


Ron: That was bloody brilliant.

McGonagall: Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Weasley. Maybe if I were to transfigure Mr. Potter and yourself into a pocketwatch, maybe one of you would be on time.

Harry: We got lost.

McGonagall: Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats.


Scene: Snape's potions class. The students are chattering, sitting near steaming cauldrons. The door slams open and Snape comes rushing in.


Snape: There will be no foolish wand waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don't expect many of you to enjoy the subtle science and exact art that is potion making. However, for those select few {looks at Draco, who smiles}, who possess the predisposition, I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory and even put a stopper {Draco looks on} in death. {Draco raises his eyebrows.} {Snape sees Harry, writing this down, in, his view, not paying attention.} Then again, maybe some of you have come to Hogwarts in possession of abilities so formidable that you feel confidant enough to not...pay...attention.


Hermione nudges Harry in the ribs. He looks up.


Snape: Mr. Potter. Our...new...celebrity. Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? {Hermione's hand skyrockets. Harry shrugs.} You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where, Mr. Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar? {Hermione's hand shoots up again.}

Harry: I don't know, Sir.

Snape: And what is the difference between Monkshood and Wolfbane?

Harry: I don't know, Sir.

Snape: Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr. Potter?


Scene: In the great hall, probably midday. The students are all working on homework.


Seamus is trying a spell on a cup.


Seamus: Eye of rabbit, harp string hum. Turn this water, into rum. {Looks in cup and shakes head.} Eye of rabbit, harp string hum...

Harry: What's Seamus trying to do to that glass of water?

Ron: Turn it into rum. Actually managed a weak tea yesterday, before...


ZAPOOF! The cup explodes. There is laughter amongst the students. Suddenly, a flock of owls start coming into the hall from the rafters above.


Ron: Ah. Mail's here!


The owls soar by, dropping parcels to students. Harry gets nothing. He sees the newspaper Ron has put down.


Harry: Can I borrow this? {Ron nods} Thanks.


Neville is unwrapping a gift. It is a clear ball with gold around it.


Seamus: Hey, look! Neville's got a Remembrall!

Hermione: I've read about those. When the smoke turns red {the smoke turns red}, it means you've forgotten something.

Neville: The only problem is, I can't remember what I've forgotten.

Harry: Hey, Ron, somebody broke into Gringotts. Listen, Believed to be the work of dark witches or wizards unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist that nothing was taken. The vault in question, number 713, had in fact been emptied earlier that same day. That's odd. That's the vault Hagrid and I went to.


Scene: Outside, flying practice. The students, Gryffindor and Slytherin, are lined up in two rows with brooms by their sides. The teacher, MADAM HOOCH, comes down the line. She has short hair and hawk yellow eyes.


Hooch: Good afternoon, class.

Class: Good afternoon, Madam Hooch.

Hooch: Good afternoon, Amanda, good afternoon. {to class} Welcome to your first flying lesson. Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone step up to the left side of their broomstick. Come on now, hurry up. Stick your right hand over the broom and say, Up!

Class: Up!


Harry's broom flies into his hand.


Harry: Whoa. {Hermione stares as the class continues.}

Draco: Up! {broomstick flies up and Draco smugly grins.}

Hooch: With feeling!

Hermione: Up. Up. Up. Up.

Ron: Up!! {His broom flies up and conks him on the nose} Ow! {Harry laughs} Shut up, Harry. {laughs}

Hooch: Now, once you've got hold of your broom, I want you to mount it. And grip it tight, you don't want to be sliding off the end. {Class mounts} When I blow my whistle, I want each of you to kick off from the ground, hard. Keep your broom steady, hover for a moment, and then lean forward slightly and touch back down. On my whistle...3...2...{tweet!}


Neville immediately lifts off. He looks quite frightened.


Neville: Oh...

Hooch: Mr. Longbottom.

Girl: Neville, what are you doing?

Students: Neville...Neville...

Boy: We're not supposed to take off, yet.

Hooch: {Neville begins soaring away} M-M-Mr. Longbottom Mr. Longbottom!

Neville: AHH!
Hooch: Mr. Longbottom!

Neville: {soars away} Down! Down! Ahhhh!

Harry: Neville! {shouting}

Neville: Help!!!

Hooch: Come back down this instant!

Neville: AHH!


He soars through the sky and hits a wall, conking along it and then swooping off. All the while, he is screaming. He begins to zoom back towards the group of students. Hooch holds out her wand to stop him.


Neville: Help!

Hooch: Mr. Longbottom! {Neville approaches. The students scatter and Hooch dives out of the way. Neville goes through the scatter and up a tower.}

Neville: Ahhhh! Whoa! Ahhh! {zooms past a statue of a man with a sharp spear. Neville's cloak catches on it. He is flipped off the broom and hangs there.} Oh. Ah...help! {He wavers, then the cloak rips, and he falls, catching on a torch, but then slipping out and falling to the ground.} Ahh!

Hooch: Everyone out of the way! {She runs through the group, and they scatter.} Come on, get up.

Girl: Is he alright?

Neville: Owowowow.

Hooch: Oh, oh, oh, oh dear. It's a broken wrist. Tch, tch, tch. Good boy, come on now, up you get. {Draco reaches down and grabs Neville's Remembrall, which has fallen. Hooch begins to lead Neville away with her.} Everyone's to keep their feet firmly on the ground while I take Mr. Longbottom to the hospital wing. Understand? If I see a single broom in the air, the one riding it will find themselves out of Hogwarts before they can say, Quidditch. {Exit.}

Draco: {snickers} Did you see his face? Maybe if the fat lump had given this a squeeze, he'd have remembered to fall on his fat ass. {Laughs.}

Harry: Give it here, Malfoy.

Draco: No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find. {hops on broom and soars around group, then through.} How 'bout up on the roof?? {soars off and hovers high in the sky.} What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?


Harry grabs his broom and runs to get on it. Hermione stops him.


Hermione: Harry, no! You heard what Madam Hooch said! Besides, you don't even know how to fly. {Harry flies off.} What an idiot.


Harry is now in the air, across from Draco.


Harry: Give it here, Malfoy, or I'll knock you off your broom!

Draco: Is that so? {Harry makes a dash for him, but Draco twirls around his broom in a 360.} Have it your way, then! {He throws the Remembrall into the air.}


Harry zooms after the ball, speeding towards a tower. Just as he is about to hit a window, from which McGonagall is working/watching, he catches it, and then heads back to the group. The students all cheer and run to see him.


Boy: Good job, Harry!

Boy 2: Oh, that was wicked, Harry.

McGonagall: {appears quickly} Harry Potter? Follow me. {Harry sullenly follows her. Draco and his goons laugh.}


Scene: Professor Quirrells classroom. He is inside, teaching, holding an iguana.


Quirrell: An iguana s-such as this is {McGonagall approaches the class and stops Harry: You wait here.} an essential in-gredient

McGonagall: Excuse me, excuse me, Professor Quirrell. Could I borrow Wood for a moment?

Quirrell: Oh. Y-yes, of course. {a boy, OLIVER WOOD, gets up to leave and Quirrell continues.} And the vampire b-bat...{eerie roar.}

McGonagall: Potter, this is Oliver Wood. Wood, I have found you a Seeker!


Scene: Harry and Ron are walking through crowded halls. Sir Nicholas and a lady ghost float by.


Nick: Have you heard? Harry Potter's the new Gryffindor Seeker. I always knew hed do well.

Ron: Seeker? But first years never make their house teams! You must be the youngest Quidditch player in

Harry: A century, according to McGonagall.


Fred and George approach and walk along with Ron and Harry.


Fred: Hey, well done, Harry, Wood's just told us!

Ron: Fred and George are on the team, too. Beaters.

George: Our job is to make sure that you don't get bloodied up too bad. Can't make any promises, of course. Rough game, Quidditch.

Fred: Brutal. But no one's died in years. Someone will vanish occasionally... {They break off from Harry and Ron, who walk across a courtyard.

George: But they'll turn up in a month or two!!

Ron: Oh, go on, Harry, Quidditch is great. Best game there is! And you'll be great, too! {Hermione jumps up from her work and comes to join them.}

Harry: But I've never even played Quidditch. What if I make a fool of myself?

Hermione: You won't make a fool of yourself. It's in your blood.


Scene: The three approach a trophy case. Hermione points at a plaque of Quidditch players. One lists Harry's father as a Seeker.


Ron: Whoa. Harry, you never told me your father was a Seeker, too.

Harry: I-I didn't know.






Scene: The three are walking up a staircase. A railing pulls in...Hermione looks, but continues walking.


Ron: I'm telling you, it's spooky. She knows more about you than you do.

Harry: Who doesn't?


The staircase shudders and begins to move. The three grab the railings.


Ron: Ahh!

Hermione: {Gasps.}

Harry: What's happening?

Hermione: The staircases change, remember? {The staircase stops, in a new place.}

Harry: {taps Ron} Let's go this way.

Ron: Before the staircase moves again. {They all open a door and walk into a spooky, dark room.}

Harry: Does anyone feel like...we shouldn't be here?

Hermione: We're not supposed to be here. This is the 3rd floor. It's forbidden.


Suddenly, a flame lights on a tall stone support. At that moment, the caretaker's cat, MRS. NORRIS, comes running in and meows. The group jumps.


Harry: Let's go.

{meow}

Ron: It's Filch's cat!

Harry: Run!


The group runs. Flames are lit as they go. They get to the end of the corridor, to a door. Harry grabs the handle, but it's locked.


Harry: It's locked!

Ron: That's it, we're done for!

Hermione: Oh, move over! {pushes through and pulls out wand} Alohomora. {The door opens.} Get in. {They bustle in.}

Ron: Alohomora?

Hermione: Standard book of spells, Chapter 7.


Filch appears at the start of the corridor with a light. Mrs. Norris looks at him.


Filch: Anyone here, my sweet? {meow} Come on. {exit.}

Hermione: Filch is gone.

Ron: Probably thinks this door's locked.

Hermione: It was locked.

Harry: And for good reason. {Ron and Hermione turn to stand with Harry. There is a massively huge three headed dog sleeping in front of them. The dog, FLUFFY, begins to wake. It growls, yawns, and growls more...noticing the intruders.}

All: AHHHHHHH! {The three bolt, running out of the door. They turn quickly to shut the door and battle against the dog. They get the door shut and run.}


Scene:

Back in the Gryffindor room. They are breathless.


Ron: What do they think they're doing?? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school.

Hermione: You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?

Ron: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice, there were three! {they begin to climb the stairs to the dorms.}

Hermione: It was standing on a trap door. Which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.

Harry: Guarding something?

Hermione: That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed...or worse, expelled! {turns and leaves, shutting the door to her dorms.}

Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!

Harry nods.


Scene: Outside, day time. Oliver and Harry appear, carrying a trunk. They put it down.


Oliver: Quidditch is easy enough to understand. Each time has seven players, 3 chasers, 2 beaters, 1 keeper and a seeker that's you. There are three kinds of balls. {picks up a red one} This one's called the Quaffle. Now, the chasers handle the Quaffle and try to put it through one of those three hoops. {Points to a faraway Quidditch pitch.} The keeper, that's me, defends the hoops. {throws ball to Harry.} With me so far?

Harry: {throws back} I think so. What are those? {points to two squirming chained down balls.}

Oliver: ...You better take this. {hands Harry a small bat. He bends down and releases one ball. With an angry growl, it flies off into the air. The two boys watch it.} Careful now, it's comin' back. {The balls comes whizzing down, and Harry cracks at it with the bat. The ball soars off through a statue.} Eh, not bad, Potter, you'd make a fair beater...Uh-oh. {The ball zooms down, and Oliver grabs it, wriggling to get it back in the box. He succeeds and is out of breath.} Bludger. Nasty little buggers. But the only ball I want you to worry about is this...the Golden Snitch. {hands Harry a walnut sized golden ball.}

Harry: I like this ball.

Oliver: Ah, you like it now. Just wait. It's wicked fast and damn near impossible to see.

Harry: What do I do with it?

Oliver: You catch it...before the other team's seeker. You catch this, the game is over. You catch this, Potter, and we win.

{The ball flutters out two delicate wings and jumps into the air. Harry keeps an eye on it.}

Harry: Whoa.


Scene: PROFESSOR FLITWICK's class. The teacher is very short, and is standing on a bunch of books.


Flitwick: One of a wizard's most rudimentary skills is levitation the ability to make objects fly. Uh, do you all have your feathers? {Hermione raises hers.} Good. Now, uh, don't forget the nice wrist movement we've been practicing, hmm? The swish and flick. Everyone. {All} The swish and flick. Good. And enunciate. Wingardium Leviosa. Off you go then.

Draco: Wingardium Levio-saaa.

{All practice.}

Ron: Wingardrium Leviosar. {whacks with wand numerous times.}

Hermione: Stop, stop, stop. You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, youre saying it wrong. It's Leviosa, not Leviosar.

Ron: You do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on.


Hermione straightens up and swishes her wand.


Hermione: {crisply} Wingardium Leviosa. {The feather glows and lifts up. Ron puts his head on his books dejectedly.}

Flitwick: Oh, well done! See here, everyone! Ms. Granger's done it! Oh, splendid!


Seamus begins swishing at his feather.


Seamus: Wingard Levosa. Wingard Levosa. {Flitwick to Hermione: Well done, dear.}


BOOOM!!! Seamus' feather explodes. Flitwick gasps.


Flitwick: Whooaaa! Ooh.

Harry: I think we're going to need another feather over here, Professor.


Scene: Neville, Harry, Ron and Seamus are walking through a courtyard with other students all around.


Ron: It's Leviosa, not Leviosar. Honestly, she's a nightmare. No wonder she hasn't got any friends!


Hermione bustles past, sniffling.


Harry: I think she heard you.


Scene: Night, in the great hall. It is Halloween. Everyone is eating candy, and Jack O'Lanterns are keeping the place lit. There is chatter.


Harry: Where's Hermione?

Neville: Parvati Patil said that she wouldn't come out of the girl's bathroom. She said that she'd been in there all afternoon...crying.

{Ron and Harry exchange glances. Suddenly, Professor Quirrell comes flying into the room, screaming.}

Quirrell: TROLL! IN THE DUNGEON! T-TROOLLL IN THE DUNGEON!! {stops and there is utter silence.} Thought you ought to know. {falls over in a dead faint.}


The room is silent, and then everyone freaks, screaming and running.


Dumbledore: SILLLLLEEENNNNCEEEEE! {Everyone stops.} Everyone will please, not panic. Now, Prefects will lead their houses back to the dormitories. Teachers will follow me to the dungeons.

Girl: Hufflepuff, this way!

Boy: Stay together!


Snape looks aghast, and he disappears through a doorway.


Scene: Percy is leading the house down a hall.


Percy: Gryffindors...keep up please. And stay alert!

Harry: How could a troll get in?

Ron: Not by itself. Trolls are really stupid. Probably people playing jokes. {Suddenly, Harry stops and pulls Ron aside.} What?

Harry: Hermione! She doesn't know!


The two run off, down corridors. They start running down a hall when they stop, because there is a grunting noise. Harry pulls Ron into a doorway and a large, ugly TROLL thunks by into a room.


Harry: He's going into the Girl's Bathroom!


Scene: In the bathroom, Hermione emerges from a stall, wiping her eyes. She stops when she sees something. The troll is standing there. Hermione backs up, into the stall just as the troll raises its club and smashes the top part of the stalls. Hermione screams. Harry and Ron come bursting in.


Harry: Hermione, move!


The troll smashes the remaining stalls.


Hermione: Help! Help! {The boys start throwing wood pieces at the troll.}

Ron: Hey, pea brain! {Ron throws wood and hits the troll on the head. Hermione escapes from the stalls to under a sink, but the troll sees her and goes to smash her. It cracks the sink and barely misses Hermione. Harry cringes.}

Hermione: Ahhh! Help!


Harry gets out his wand. He runs forward and grabs the troll's club, and is lifted up.


Harry: Whooa! Whoa, whoa! {He lands on the troll's head, and is hurled forward, then back, and his wand goes up the troll's nose.}

Ron: Ew.


The troll snorts, and whips around.


Harry: Whoa, whoa whoa!


The troll gets Harry off its head and is holding him by one leg, upside down. It gears up its club and swipes at Harry. He pulls himself up, then down. The troll swipes again.


Harry: Do something! {swipe}

Ron: What? {swipe}

Harry: Anything! Hurry up!


Ron grabs his wand. Under the sink, Hermione waves her hand.


Hermione: Swish and flick!

Ron: Wingardium Leviosa! {flick. The club is lifted out of the troll's hand and hovers above its head. The troll looks up, confused, just as the club comes crashing back down. (Ron: Cool.) It hits the troll's head and the troll wavers, then drops Harry, who crawls away, and comes crashing down, hard.


Hermione approaches carefully.


Hermione: Is it...dead?

Harry: I don't think so. Just knocked out. {He grabs his wand...which is covered in goo.} Ew. Troll bogies.


Suddenly, McGonagall, Snape and Quirrell come rushing in.

They all gasp.


McGonagall: Oh! Oh, my goodness! E-Explain yourselves, both of you!

Ron and Harry: Well, what it is...

Hermione: It's my fault, Professor McGonagall. {The teachers, and Ron and Harry, gape}

McGonagall: Ms. Granger?

Hermione: I went looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ronhadn't come and found me...I'd probably be dead.

McGonagall: Be that as it may...it was an extremely foolish thing to do. {Harry looks at Snape's leg...which has a large cut on it. Snape notices and covers it up, glaring at Harry.} I would have expected more rational behaviour on your part, Ms. Granger. 5 points will be taken from Gryffindor for your serious lack of judgment. As for you two gentlemen I just hope you realize how fortunate you are. Not many students could take on a full grown mountain troll and live to tell the tale. 5 points...will be awarded to each of you. For sheer dumb luck. {Snape and McGonagall exit.}

Quirrell: Perhaps you ought to go...M-might wake up...heh. {Exit Ron and Harry and Hermione.} {Troll roars.} Ahh! Hehe....


Scene: The next morning, in the great hall. The gang is sitting, eating. Harry is twirling his food on a fork.


Ron: Take a bit of toast, mate, go on.

Hermione: Ron's right, Harry. You're gonna need your strength today.

Harry: I'm not hungry.


Snape appears.


Snape: Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you...even if it is against Slytherin. {Leaves, limping.}

Harry: That explains the blood.

Hermione: Blood?

Harry: Listen, last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as a diversion so he could try and get past that 3 headed dog. But, he got himself bitten, that's why he's limping.

Hermione: But why would anyone go near that dog?

Harry: The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the vaults. He said it was Hogwarts' business, very secret.

Hermione: So you're saying...

Harry: That's what the dog's guarding. That's what Snape wants.

{An owl screeches. It is Hedwig. She is carrying a very large, long parcel. She drops it off.}

Hermione: Bit early for mail, isn't it?

Harry: But I-I never get mail.

Ron: Let's open it.

{They open it.}

Harry: It's a broomstick!
Ron: Thats not just any broomstick, Harry. It's a Nimbus 2000!

Harry: But who...?

{He sees Professor McGonagall up at the head table, stroking Hedwig. She smiles and Harry nods.}


Scene: Inside a Quidditch tower. The Gryffindor team is marching towards the starting gate. They reach it and stop, behind a closed double door.


OIiver: Scared, Harry?

Harry: A little bit.

Oliver: That's all right. I felt the same way before my first game.

Harry: What happened?
Oliver: Er, I don't really remember. I took a bludger to the head 2 minutes in. Woke up in the hospital a week later.


Harry gulps and looks straight ahead as the doors open. They mount their brooms and zoom out onto the enormous pitch. There is cheering. The commentator, LEE JORDAN, is talking from a tower.


Lee: Hello, and welcome to Hogwarts' first Quidditch game of the season! Today's game Slytherin versus Gryffindor!!!


{Cheering. Close-up of Gryffindor students. They are cheering. Neville: Gryffindor!}


The players take their positions in the air in a circle. Harry weaves in, highest amongst. He looks down.


Lee: The players take their positions as Madam Hooch steps out onto the field to begin the game.

Hooch: Now, I want a nice clean game...from all of you. {looks at Slytherin. She kicks the trunk, and the bludgers zoom out.}

Lee: The bludgers are up...followed by the Golden Snitch. Remember, the snitch is worth 150 points. The seeker who catches the Snitch ends the game.


The snitch zooms around each Seeker's head, then disappears. Hooch grabs the Quaffle.


Lee: The Quaffle is released...and the game begins!


Gryffindor takes possession of the ball and a chaser, ANGELINA JOHNSON, zooms past Slytherins towards their goal, and throws the ball, and scores! There is a ding.


Lee: Angelina Johnson scores! 10 points for Gryffindor! {He presses a button and a 10 shows up beside a plaque with Gryffindors name.}


Harry, in the air, claps.


Harry: Yes! {a bludger zooms by him.} Whoa!


In the stands, Gryffindor cheers.


Hagrid: Well done!

Lee: Slytherin takes possession of the Quaffle. Bletchley passes to Captain Marcus Flint.


Flint dodges people and throws for the Gryffindor hoops. Oliver appears and whacks the ball away with his broom. He smirks at Flint, who glares. Johnson and KATIE BELL pass the Quaffle back and forth as they strategize to score. Johnson takes it, throws, and once again scores!


Ron and Seamus: Yay!

Harry: Yes!

Lee: Another 10 points to Gryffindor! {ding.}

Gryffindors: Yay!


The Slytherins decide to get messy. They dodge, kick, and try to score. Once again, Oliver blocks.


Flint: Give me that! {he grabs a beaters bat from one and whacks a bludger right at Oliver. It hits Oliver in the stomach and he falls to the ground.}


Crowd: {Booing}

Harry is visibly upset.

Slytherin laughs.


The Slytherin members head off. One jumps over George (or Fred) and scores. Harry is upset again. Slytherin cheers.


Flint: {to other members} Take that side!


They box Johnson in and sent her into the capes covering one of the towers. She falls down in and is out. The crowd boos. Slytherin scores once again. Suddenly, Harry sees the Snitch. He starts to head off after it and then his broom starts bucking and turning.


Harry: Whoa! Whooa!

Hagrid: What's going on with Harry's broomstick?


Hermione looks through binoculars at Harry, then at Snape, who is muttering something.


Hermione: It's Snape! He's jinxing the broom!

Ron: Jinxing the broom? What do we do?

Hermione: Leave it to me. {She hands Ron her binoculars and leaves.}


Harry is knocked around, then falls, dangling by one arm from the broom.


Ron: Come on, Hermione!


Hermione is hurrying up a tower. She appears underneath Snape and touches his cloak with her wand.


Hermione: Lacarnum Inflamarae.


A spark ignites and Snape's cloak catches fire. Hermione leaves.


Man: Fire! You're on fire!

Snape: What? Oh! {knocks the man back, who falls into Quirrell, who then also falls. Snape bats out the fire and acts as though nothing happened. The broom stop bucking, and Harry climbs back on. The Slytherin seeker is after the Snitch. Harry takes off.}


Ron: Go!

Hagrid: Go go go!


Harry rams the Slytherin Seeker, then is butted out. He returns, smashing the Seeker again as the Snitch dives. The boys follow, but they approach the ground quickly. The Slytherin Seeker backs out, and Harry pulls up his broom as he follows the Snitch, feet above the ground. Harry stands up, and steps forward, trying to grab the ball. He goes too far, and topples off the broom with a yelp, tumbling on the ground. He gets up and lurches.


The crowd gasps. Hermione appears beside a tower to see.


Hagrid: Looks like he's gonna be sick!


Harry lurches and the Snitch pops out of his mouth. It lands in his hands.


Lee: He's got the Snitch! Harry Potter receives 150 points for catching the Snitch!

Hooch: {Blows whistle} Gryffindor win!

All: YAY!

Draco: No!

Hagrid: Yes!

Hermione: Whoo-hoo!

McGonagall: {Giggles happily}


Harry raises the Snitch into the air and the crowd, and his team, cheers.


Crowd: Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor! Go go Gryffindor!








Scene:


Harry, Hermione and Ron are walking along a path with Hagrid, talking.


Hagrid: Nonsense. Why would Snape put a curse on Harry's broom?

Harry: Who knows. Why was he trying to get past that 3 headed dog on Halloween?

Hagrid: Who told you 'bout Fluffy?

Ron: Fluffy?
Hermione: That thing has a name?

Hagrid: Well, of course he's got a name. He's mine. I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the

Harry: Yes?

Hagrid: Shouldn'ta said that. Don't ask any more questions. That's top secret, that is.

Harry: But Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it!

Hagrid: Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher.

Hermione: Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a curse when I see one. I've read all about them. You have to keep eye contact. And Snape wasn't blinking.

Harry: Exactly.

Hagrid: {sighs} Now, you listen to me, all three of you. You're meddlin' in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel.

Harry: Nicholas Flamel?

Hagrid: I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I should not have said that. {Exit.}

Harry: Nicholas Flamel...Who's Nicholas Flamel?

Hermione: I don't know.


Scene: Christmas. The camera pans up to a snowy castle, then to Hagrid, who is bringing in a large tree. Inside the great hall, students are leaving and ghosts are singing (Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, ring the Hogwarts bell. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas...) Hermione approaches the empty tables, wheeling a cart. She goes to Ron and Harry, who are playing chess.


Harry: Knight to E-5.


A piece moves across the board.


Ron thinks for a moment.


Ron: Queen to E-5.


A queen walks over to E-5 and clinks the knight away.


Hermione: That's totally barbaric!

Ron: That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed.

Hermione: See you haven't.

Ron: Change of plans. My parents decided to go to Romania to visit my brother, Charlie. He's studying dragons there!

Hermione: Good. You can help Harry, then. He's going to go the library for information on Nicholas Flamel.

Ron: We've looked a hundred times!

Hermione: Not in the restricted section...Happy Christmas. {exits.}

Ron: I think we've had a bad influence on her.


Scene:

X-mas morning. Hedwig is perched in the boys' room, and Harry is asleep in bed.


Ron: {calling from downstairs} Harry, wake up! Come on Harry, wake up!


Harry gets up and runs to a balcony overlooking the common room, where Ron is standing next to a tree. He is wearing a sweater with an R on it.


Ron: Happy Christmas, Harry.

Harry: Happy Christmas, Ron. What are you wearing?

Ron: Oh, Mum made it for me. Looks like you've got one too!

Harry: I've got presents?

Ron: Yeah!

Harry: Oh! {Harry runs down the stairs.}

Ron: There they are. {Ron sits on a couch arm and eats jelly beans as Harry picks up a silver wrapped package. Harry takes out the card.}

Harry: "Your father left this in my possession before he died. It is time it was returned to you. Use it well."


Harry opens the present. It is a cloak.


Ron: What is it?

Harry: Some kind of...cloak.

Ron: Well, let's see then. Put it on.


Harry puts the cloak on, and all of him disappears except for his head.


Ron: Whoa!

Harry: My body's gone!

Ron: I know what that is! That's an invisibility cloak!

Harry: I'm invisible??

Ron: {gets up} They're really rare. I wonder who gave it to you.

Harry: {comes over} There was no name. It just said, "Use it well."


Scene:

Late at night. A lantern and hand appear, but nothing else. The ensemble walk through the dark library and into the Restricted Section. The lamp is put down, and the cloak removed. Harry appears.


Harry: {Reading books} Famous fire eaters...15th Century Fiends...Flamel...Nicholas Flamel...where are you?


Harry picks up a book and opens it. A man's face appears.


Man: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


Harry slams the book shuts and puts it back.


Filchs voice: Who's there?! {Harry whips around, grabbing his cloak. The lamp falls and shatters.} I know you're in there. You can't hide. {Harry puts on his cloak and creeps around Filch.} Who is it? Show yourself!


Harry runs from the room, breathing heavily. He gets into the hall, where Mrs. Norris is. The cat meows and begins to follow him. Harry runs around a corner, just as Snape and Quirrell appear. Snape pushes Quirrell into the wall.


Quirrell: Severus...I-I thought...

Snape: You don't want me as your enemy, Quirrell.

Quirrell: W-what do you m-mean?

Snape: You know perfectly well what I mean. {Snape senses something. Harry stops breathing. Snape reaches out to grab something, but doesn't. He whips his finger back in front of Quirrell's face.} We'll have another chat soon...when you've had time to decide where your loyalties lie.


Filch appears, carrying the broken lamp.


Filch: Oh, Professors. I found this, in the Restricted Section. It's still hot. That means there's a student out of bed.


They all dart off. A door opens, and closes. On the other side, there is a vast, empty room that has a large mirror in the center. Harry appears and walks over to the mirror. In it, he sees two people appear.


Harry: Mum? {the woman nods and smiles} Dad? {nods and smiles. Harry reaches out to touch them, but only gets the mirror. Then, his mother puts her hand on his shoulder. He puts his own hand on his own shoulders, as if trying to feel her there.


Scene:

The boys' room. Harry comes whipping in, invisible.


Harry: Ron! You've really got to see this! Ron! You've got to see this! {pulls back covers. Ron wakes up.} Ron, Ron, come on. Get out of bed!

Ron: Why?

Harry: There's something you've got to see. Now, come on!


Scene:

Back in the mirror room. Harry and Ron appear as if magically and Harry runs to the mirror.


Harry: Come on. Come. Come look, it's my parents!

Ron: I only see me.

Harry: {moves over} Look in properly. Go on. Stand there. There. You see them, don't you? Thats my dad

Ron: That's me! Only, I'm head boy...and I'm holding the Quidditch cup! And bloody hell, I'm Quidditch Captain too! I look good. Harry, do you think this mirror shows the future?

Harry: How can it? Both my parents are dead. {Harry smiles sadly.}


Scene:

Another night. Harry is sitting in front of the mirror. Dumbledore appears behind him.


Dumbledore: Back again, Harry? {Harry turns around and stands up.} I see that you, like so many before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust by now you realize what it does. Let me give you a clue. The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly as he is.

Harry: So, then it shows us what we want? Whatever we want?

Dumbledore: Yes...and no. It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desires of our hearts. Now you, who have never known your family, you see them standing beside you. But remember this, Harry. This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away in front of it, even gone mad. That is why tomorrow it will be moved to a new home, and I must ask you not to go looking for it again. It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live. {Harrylooks back at the mirror.}


Scene:

Daytime. It is all snowy. Harry is out in a main courtyard, bundled up, with Hedwig on his arm. He stops and she lifts off, soaring away into the sky. When she returns, it is spring time.


Scene:

In the library. Harry and Ron are seated, reading. Hermione comes up with a huge book. She thumps it onto the table. Harryjumps.


Hermione: I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid? I checked this out a few weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Ron: This is light?

Hermione: {glares} Of course! Here it is! "Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!"

Ron and Harry: The what?

Hermione: Honestly, don't you two read? "The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will turn any metal into pure gold and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal."

Ron: Immortal?

Hermione: It means you'll never die.

Ron: I know what it means!

Harry: Shh!

Hermione: "The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his 665th birthday!" That's what Fluffy's guarding on the 3rd floor. That's what's under the trapdoor...the Philosopher's Stone!


They all look at each other.


Scene:

Nighttime. Hermione, Ron and Harry are running across the wet ground to Hagrids hut. They knock on the door and it opens.


Harry: Hagrid!

Hagrid: {clad in oven mitts and an apron} Oh, hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today. {Closes door.}

All 3: We know about the Philosopher's Stone!

{Door reopens.}

Hagrid: Oh.

{They all come into Hagrid's small hut.}

Harry: We think Snape's trying to steal it.

Hagrid: Snape? Blimey, Harry, you're not still on about him, are you?

Harry: Hagrid, we know he's after the Stone. We just don't know why.

Hagrid: Snape is one of the teachers protecting the Stone! He's not about to steal it!

Harry: What?

Hagrid: You heard. Right. Come on, now, I'm a bit preoccupied today.

Harry: Wait a minute. {Ron and a big black boarhound, FANG, meet. Fang sniffs Ron.} One of the teachers?
Hermione: {sitting in a large chair} Of course! There are other things defending the Stone, aren't there? Spells, enchantments.

Hagrid: That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me.

{Hermione looks at Ron, who is being sniffed in the face by Fang. Ron shuffles away.} Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy. Hehe, not a soul knows how. Except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have told you that. {A cauldron over a fire begins to rattle.} Oh! {Hagrid hurries over and grabs something} Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! {puts the thing, an egg, on the table. The group crowds around.}

Harry: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that?

Hagrid: That? It's a ... its um...

Ron: I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one?

Hagrid: I won it. Off a stranger I met down at a pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid off it, as a matter of fact.


The egg rattles and cracks. Pieces fly off as a dragon emerges. It squeaks and slips on an egg piece.


Hermione: Is that...a dragon?

Ron: That's not just a dragon. That's a Norwegian Ridgeback! My brother Charlie works with these in Romania.

Hagrid: Isn't he beautiful? Oh. Bless him, look. He knows his mummy. Hehe. Hallo, Norbert. {The dragon squeaks as it looks at Hagrid.}

Harry: Norbert?

Hagrid: Yeah, well, he's got to have a name, doesn't he?

Ron: {laughs}

Hagrid: Don't you, Norbert? {raises fingers back and forth across Norberts chin} Dededede.


Norbert backs away, hiccups and blows a fireball of fire into Hagrid's beard.


Hagrid: Ohh! Oooh, ooh, ooh, well...he'll have to be trained up a bit, of course. {Norbert hiccups. Hagrid sees someone looking in the window.} Who's that? {The person scampers away.}

Harry: Malfoy.

Hagrid: Oh, dear.


Scene:

The three are walking back through a corridor. An owl screeches.


Harry: Hagrid always wanted a dragon. He told me so the first time I met him.

Ron: It's crazy. And worse, Malfoy knows.

Harry: I don't understand. Is that bad?

Ron: It's bad.


They stop as McGonagall, in her nightgown, appears.


McGonagall: Good evening.


Malfoy appears smugly beside her.


Scene:

McGonagall's classroom. The three accused are standing in front of McGonagall's desk, while Malfoy is feet away, smirking.


McGonagall: Nothing, I repeat, nothing gives a student the right to walk about the school at night. Therefore, as punishment for your actions, 50 points will be taken.

Harry: 50?!

McGonagall: Each. And to ensure it doesn't happen again, all four of you will receive detention.


Malfoy nods, then his smile vanishes.


Draco: Excuse me, Professor. Perhaps I heard you wrong. I thought you said..."the four of us."


McGonagall: No, you heard me correctly, Mr. Malfoy. You see, as honorable as your intentions were, you too were out of bed after hours. You will serve detention with your classmates.


Harry, Ron and Hermione grin, and Draco sags.


Scene:

Outside, at night, the four students are being led to Hagrid's hut by Mr. Filch.


Filch: A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming. {Draco gulps, and Hermione rushes by.} You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the dark forest. {Hagrid appears with a crossbow. He sniffles.} A sorry lot this, Hagrid. Oh, good God, man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are you?


Hagrid: {sniffs and sighs} Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony.

Hermione: Well, that's good, isn't it? He'll be with his own kind.

Hagrid: Yeah, but what if he don't like Romania? {Filch rolls eyes.} What if the other dragons are mean to him? He's only a baby, after all.

Filch: Oh, for Gods sake, pull yourself together, man. You're going into the forest, after all. Got to have your wits about you.

Draco: The forest? I thought that was a joke! We can't go in there. Students aren't allowed. And there are...{a howl sounds}...werewolves!

Filch: There's more than werewolves in those trees, lad. You can be sure of that. {Draco looks frightened.} Nighty-night. {Exit.}

Hagrid: Right. Let's go.


Scene: In the forest. The group walks along a path to a tree. Hagrid stops, bends down and dips his fingers in a silver puddle. He pulls out his fingers and rubs them together. A silver trail smears with his fingers.


Harry: Hagrid, what's that?

Hagrid: What we're here for. See that? That's unicorn's blood, that is. I found one dead a few weeks ago. Now, this one's been injured bad by something. {Harry suddenly sees a large cloaked figure walking through the trees. He looks at Hagrid.} So, it's our job to find the poor beast. Ron, Hermione, you'll come with me.

Ron: {weakly} Okay.

Hagrid: And Harry, you'll go with Malfoy. {Draco grimaces, and Harry nods.}

Draco: Okay. Then I get Fang!

Hagrid: Fine. Just so you know, he's a bloody coward. {Fang whines.}


Scene:

Harry and Draco are walking through the forest, Fang leading. Draco has the lamp.


Draco: You wait till my father hears about this. This is servant's stuff.

Harry: If I didn't know better, Draco, I'd say you were scared.

Draco: Scared, Potter?! {Scoffs} {howl} Did you hear that? Come on, Fang. Scared.


Scene:

The group approaches a flat ground with gnarled roots all over. Fang stops, then growls.


Harry: What is it, Fang?


Up ahead, a cloaked figure is crouched over a dead unicorn, drinking its blood. The figure raises its head, silver blood dripping from its mouth.


Harry gasps and grabs his scar, which is hurting.


Draco: {A look of pure fear} AHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHH! {runs away, with Fang} HELP!!!!!


Harry is left by himself. The figure slides over the unicorn and rises erect. It advances towards Harry, who backs up, but trips. He crawls backwards. Suddenly, there is the sound of hoofbeats. A figure leaps over Harry and lands near the cloaked figure. It is a silver centaur, FIRENZE. It rears, and the cloaked figure retreats, flying away.


Firenze: Harry Potter, you must leave. You are known to many creatures here. The forest is not safe at this time. Especially for you.

Harry: {rises} But what was that thing you saved me from?

Firenze: A monstrous creature. It is a terrible crime to slay a unicorn. Drinking the blood of a unicorn will keep you alive even if you are an inch from death. But at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure that the moment the blood touches your lips, you will have a half-life. A cursed life.

Harry: But who would choose such a life?

Firenze: Can you think of no one?

Harry: Do you mean to say...that that thing that killed the unicorn...that was drinking its blood...that was Voldemort?

Firenze: Do you know what is hidden in the school at this very moment?

Harry: The Philosopher's Stone.


Suddenly, a dog (Fang) barks. Harry looks up and sees Hagrid, Hermione, Ron and Draco appear.


Hermione: Harry!

Hagrid: Hello there, Firenze. I see you've met our young Mr. Potter. You all right there, Harry? {Harry nods}

Firenze: Harry Potter, this is where I leave you. You're safe now. Good luck.
{Close up on the dead unicorn.}




Scene:

Gryffindor common room. Right after 'attack.' The group is around the fire. Hermione and Ron are seated, but Harry stands.


Hermione: You mean, You-Know-Who's out there, right now, in the forest?

Harry: But he's weak. He's living off the unicorns. Don't you see? We had it wrong. Snape doesn't want the stone for himself, he wants the stone for Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll He'll come back. {Sits down.}

Ron: But if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to kill you, do you?

Harry: I think if he'd had the chance, he might have tried to kill me tonight.

Ron: {Gulp} And to think, I've been worrying about my Potions final!

Hermione: Hang on a minute. We're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared?

{The boys shrug.} Dumbledore! As long as Dumbledore's around, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched. {Harry smiles slightly.}


Scene:

Some time later. In the outdoor courtyard. The three are walking.


Hermione: I've always heard Hogwarts' end of the year exams were frightful, but I found that rather enjoyable.

Ron: Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry?

Harry: My scar. It keeps burning.

Hermione: It's happened before.

Harry: Not like this.

Ron: Perhaps you should see the nurse.

Harry: I think it's a warning. It means dangers coming. Uhh! {He rubs scar and then sees Hagrid across the field, at his hut.} Oh. Of course! {runs for hut.}

Hermione: What is it?

Harry: Don't you think it's a bit odd that what Hagrid wants more than anything is a dragon, and a stranger shows up and just happens to have one? {They approach Hagrid, who is playing the Harry Potter theme on his flute.} I mean, how many people wander around with dragon eggs in their pockets? Why didn't I see it before? Hagrid, who gave you the dragon egg? {Hagrid stops playing.} What did he look like?

Hagrid: I don't know. I never saw his face. He kept his hood up.

Harry: The stranger, though, you and he must have talked.

Hagrid: Well, he wanted to know what sort of creatures I looked after. I told him. I said, "After Fluffy, a dragon's gonna be no problem."

Harry: And did he seem interested in Fluffy?

Hagrid: Well, of course he was interested in Fluffy! How often do you come across a three headed dog, even if you're in the trade? But I told him. I said, "The trick with any beast is to know how to calm him. Take Fluffy, for example, just play him a bit of music and he falls straight to sleep."


The three gape.


Hagrid: I shouldn't have told you that. {The three take off.} Where you going?! Wait!


Scene:

McGonagall's classroom. The three come tearing in and run up the aisles between desks. They pass a ghost and stop at the desk.


Harry: We have to see Professor Dumbledore, immediately!

McGonagall: I'm afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and left immediately for London.

Harry: He's gone?! Now? But this is important! It's about...the Philosopher's Stone.

McGonagall: {shocked} How do you know

Harry: Someone's going to try and steal it.

McGonagall: I don't know how you three found out about the stone, but I can assure you it is perfectly well-protected. Now would you go back to your dormitories? Quietly. {They leave.}


Scene:

After exiting McGonagall's class, they walk down the hallway.


Harry: That was no stranger Hagrid met in the village. It was Snape, which means he knows how to get past Fluffy.

Hermione: And with Dumbledore gone

{Snape suddenly appears behind them}

Snape: Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?

Hermione: Uh...we were just...

Snape: You want to be careful. People will think you're {Harry glares madly at Snape, who looks shocked} up to something. {Exit.}

Hermione: Now what do we do?

Harry: We go down the trapdoor. Tonight.


Scene: Nighttime. In the Gryffindor Common Room. The three friends come down the stairs and begin to walk across the floor. They stop when they hear croaking.


Harry: Trevor.

Ron: Trevor shh! Go, you shouldn't be here!

Neville: {appears behind a chair} Neither should you. You're sneaking out again, arent you?

Harry: Now, Neville, listen. We were

Neville: No! I won't let you! {stands} You'll get Gryffindor in trouble again! I-I'll fight you. {holds out fists.}

Hermione: Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this...{takes out wand} Petrificus Totalus.


Neville is frozen and falls backwards onto the ground. Hermione puts her wand back.


Ron: {Gulp} You're a little scary sometimes...you know that? Brilliant, but scary.

Harry: Let's go. {Walks by Neville} Sorry.

Hermione: Sorry.

Ron: It's for your own good, you know. {Exit.}


Scene: The three are under the Invisibility cloak, sneaking along the corridor.


Hermione: Ow! You stood on my foot!

Ron: Sorry. {A flame lights. Hermione draws out her wand and points it at the door.}

Hermione: Alohomora.


The door opens and they go in.


Ron: Wait a minute...he's....{a blow of air, and the cape flutters off them.} Sleeping.

Harry: Snape's already been here. He's put a spell on the harp. {They approach the sleeping dog.}

Ron: Uh. It's got horrible breath!

Harry: We have to move its paw.

Ron: What?!

Harry: Come on! {grabs paw, which is blocking the door.} Okay. Push! {They strain and move it. They open the door.} I'll go first. Don't follow until I give you a sign. {Fluffy's eyes open.} If something bad happens, get yourselves out...Does it seem a bit...quiet?

Hermione: The harp. It stopped playing.


Drool from one head comes down on Ron's shoulder.


Ron: Ew! Yuck! Ugh. {All three kids look up and see Fluffy standing there. Fluffy barks and growls, thrashing. It breaks the harp and dives at the three.}

Harry: Jump! Go! {They all jump through the trapdoor.}

Ron: Ahh! {gasps as he lands on some mushy black ropelike vines.} Whoa. Lucky this plant-thing is here, really.

Harry: Whoa! {The plant begins to move towards them.} Oh. Ahh! {The plant ties them up.}

Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax. If you don't, it will only kill you faster.

Ron: Kill us faster?! Oh, now I can relax!


Hermione manages a smile as she is sucked down below.


Ron and Harry: Hermione!!

Ron: Now what are we gonna do?!

Hermione's voice: Just relax!

Harry: Hermione! Where are you?!

Hermione (from below): Do what I say. Trust me.


Harry relaxes and is sucked through.


Ron: Ahh! Harry!


Harry falls through and lands on the hard ground. Hermione goes over to him and he stands up.


Ron: Harry!

Hermione: Are you okay?

Harry: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Ron: Help!

Hermione: He's not relaxing, is he?

Harry: Apparently not.

Ron: Help! Help me!

Hermione: We've got to do something!

Harry: What?

Hermione: Uh! I remember reading something in Herbology. {Ron: Help!} Um Devil's Snare, Devil's Scare, {The snare shuts Ron's mouth} it's deadly fun...but will sulk in the sun! That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! {takes out wand and points upwards.} Lumus Solem! {A beam of light shoots out. The Snare shrieks and recoils. Ron falls below.}

Ron: Ahhh!

Harry: Ron, are you okay?

Ron: Yeah.

Harry: Okay.

Ron: {stands} Whew. Lucky we didn't panic!

Harry: Lucky Hermione pays attention in Herbology.


There is a sound.


Hermione: What is that?

Harry: I don't know. Sounds like wings.


They enter into a room filled with golden "birds."


Hermione: Curious. I've never seen birds like these.

Harry: They're not birds, they're keys. And I'll bet one of them fits that door. {They come upon a broomstick, suspended in the air.}

Hermione: What's this all about?

Harry: I don't know. Strange.

{Ron creeps over to the door and takes out his wand.}

Ron: {rattles lock.} Alohomora! {Shrugs} Well, it was worth a try.

Hermione: Ugh! What're we going to do? There must be 1000 keys up there!

Ron: We're looking for a big old fashioned one. Probably rusty like the handle.

Harry: There! I see it! {points} The one with the broken wing! {He looks at the broom.}

Hermione: What's wrong, Harry?

Harry: It's too simple.

Ron: Oh, go on, Harry! If Snape can catch it on that old broomstick, you can! You're the youngest seeker in a century!


Harry nods and grabs the broom. All the keys suddenly go one direction, right at Harry. He climbs on, swiping at them.


Ron: This complicates things a bit!


Harry pushes off into the air. He flies off, after the key. The others follow him. Harry grabs the key.


Harry: Catch the key!


He zooms by and throws the key to Hermione, who catches it and heads for the lock while Harry distracts the other keys. Hermione puts it in the lock.


Ron: Hurry up!


The door opens, and Hermione and Ron rush through, followed by Harry. They shut the door just as the keys slam up against it.


Scene:

They enter a dark room, with broken pieces all around it.


Hermione: I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

Harry: Where are we? A graveyard.

Ron: This is no graveyard. {sighs} It's a chessboard. {Walks out onto the marble board and flames light, illuminating the board and GIANT players. Harry and Hermione come up with him.}

Harry: There's the door.


They walk across the board, towards the door. Suddenly, as they reach a line of pawns, the pawns bring up their swords. The three jump and back up.


Hermione: Now what do we do?

Ron: It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room. All right. Harry, you take the Bishop's square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen's side castle. As for me, I'll be a knight. {They all take their places.}

Hermione: What happens now?

Ron: {aboard a horse.} Well, white moves first, and then...we play. {A pawn on the other side moves forward. Ron studies the game.}

Hermione: Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like...real wizard's chess, do you?

Ron: You there! D-5! {A black pawn moves forward, diagonal to the white pawn. The white pawn raises its swords and smashes the black one. The three jump.} Yes, Hermione, I think this is going to be exactly like wizard's chess!


The game continues. Pieces smash each other, boom! Boom!

Ron: Castle to E-4! Smash! Ron: Pawn to C-3! Smash! Boom! The Queen turns, and smashes a piece! Harry, Ron and Hermione wince. The Queen turns again. Both Ron and Harry study the game.


Harry: Wait a minute.

Ron: You understand right, Harry. Once I make my move, the Queen will take me...then you'll be free to check the King.

Harry: No, Ron! No!

Hermione: What is it?

Harry: He's going to sacrifice himself!

Hermione: No, Ron, you can't! {Ron closes his eyes.} There must be another way!

Ron: {turns to face Hermione.} Do you want to stop Snape or not? Harry, it's you that has to go on. I know it. Not me, not Hermione, you. {Harry nods.} Knight...to H-3.


Ron's horse moves forward, slides and stops.


Ron: Check.


The Queen turns and advances. Ron breathes faster, clutching the steel reins. The Queen stops. SMASH! Ron goes flying off the horse and lands on the floor, unconscious.


Ron: Ahhhh!

Harry: RON! {Hermione starts walking to him.} NO! Don't move! Dont forget, we're still playing. {Hermione moves back. Harry walks the diagonal in front of the King.} Checkmate. {The Kings sword falls onto the ground victory. Harry breathes out and then the two run to Ron. They bend beside him.} Take care of Ron. Then, go to the owlery. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron's right...I have to go on.

Hermione: You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard, you really are.

Harry: Not as good as you.

Hermione: {smile} Me? Books and cleverness? There are more important things. Friendship, and bravery. And Harry, just be careful.


Harry nods and stands, walking away.






Scene:

Harry walks down a long staircase to an empty room with pillars around it. The Mirror of Erised is in the middle of the room, and a man is standing before it. It is Quirrell. Harry yelps and grabs his scar.


Harry: You? {Quirrell turns around.} No. It can't be...Snape. He was the one

Quirrell: Yes. He does seem the type, doesn't he? Next to me, who would suspect, "p-p-poor s-stuttering Professor Quirrell?"

Harry: B-but, that day, during the Quidditch Match, Snape tried to kill me.

Quirrell: No, dear boy. I tried to kill you! And trust me, if Snape's cloak hadn't caught fire and broken my eye contact, I would have succeeded. Even with Snape muttering his little counter-curse.

Harry: Snape was trying to...save me?

Quirrell: I knew you were a danger right from the off. Especially after Halloween.

Harry: Th-then you let the troll in.

Quirrell: Very good Potter, yes. Snape, unfortunately, wasn't fooled. While everyone else was running to the dungeon, he went to the 3rd floor to head me off. He, of course, never trusted me again. He rarely left me alone. {Quirrell turns back to the mirror and Harry's scar hurts.} But he doesn't understand. I'm never alone. Never. Now...what does this mirror do? I see what I desire. I see myself holding the stone. But how do I get it?

{A raspy voice, VOLDEMORT, calls.}: Use the boy.

Quirrell: Come here, Potter, now!


Harry walks forward shakily.


Quirrell: Tell me. What do you see?


Harry looks in the mirror. He sees himself. His mirror self brings his hand into his pocket and takes out a red stone! The mirror self winks and puts the stone back. Very subtly, Harry reaches to his pocket. There is a lump. He gasps.


Quirrell: What is it?! What do you see?!

Harry: I-I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. I've won the house cup.

Voldemort's voice: He lies.

Quirrell: Tell the truth! What do you see?!

Voldemort's voice: Let me speak to him.

Quirrell: Master, you are not strong enough.

Voldemort's voice: I have strength enough for this. {Quirrell unwraps his turban and on the side opposite his face, another face is planted. It is Voldemort who appears kind of like a snake. He stretches out and faces Harry via the mirror.} Harry Potter. We meet again.

Harry: Voldemort.

Voldemort: Yes. You see what I have become? See what I must do to survive? Live off another. A mere parasite. Unicorn blood can sustain me, but it cannot give me a body of my own. But there is something that can. Something, that conveniently enough, lies in your pocket!


Harry turns and runs.


Voldemort: Stop him! {Quirrell snaps his fingers and fire erupts all around the room. Harry is stuck.} Don't be a fool! Why suffer a horrific death when you can join me and live?!

Harry: {shakes his head} Never!

Voldemort: Haha. Bravery. Your parents had it too. Tell me, Harry, would you like to see your mother and father again? Together, we can bring them back. {In the mirror, Harrys parents faces appear.} All I ask for is something in return. {Harrytakes the stone from his pocket.} That's it, Harry. There is no good and evil. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it. Together, we'll do extraordinary things. Just give me the stone! {Mother and father vanish.}

Harry: You liar!

Voldemort: Kill him!


Quirrell soars into the air and smashes into Harry, one hand on Harrys throat. They fall to the steps. The stone falls out of Harry's reach as Quirrell chokes him. Harry strains and squeaks. Suddenly, Harry puts his hand on Quirrell's, trying to get him off. Smoke furls from under his hand.


Quirrell: Ahh! Ahh! {backs up. His hand is crumbling into a mountain of black ash.} What is this magic? {hand dissipates.}

Voldemort: Fool! Get the stone!

Quirrell: {Walks forward, but Harry puts both hands on his face.} Ahhhhhhhhhh!


Quirrell backs up, then his face, which is horrendously burned, crumbles as he walks forward. His whole body is ash. He falls to the floor. Harry gasps. He looks at his own hands and hurries over to the stone. He picks it up and sighs, when he hears something. Turning, Harry sees a dust clouds with Voldemort's face. The cloud rushes forward, right through Harry!


Voldemort: Arrrhhhhhh!

Harry: Ahhhhhhhhh! {Voldemort flies away. Harry falls to the ground, unconscious. He holds the stone in an outstretched hand.}


Scene:

The hospital wing. Harry is bandaged, lying in bed. He awakens, puts on his glasses, and sits up. There are cards and candy all over. Dumbledore approaches him.


Dumbledore: Good afternoon, Harry. Ah. Tokens from your admirers?

Harry: Admirers?

Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally, the whole school knows. {Both smile.} Ah, I see your friend Ronald has saved you the trouble of opening your Chocolate Frogs.

Harry: Ron was here? Is he all right? What about Hermione?
Dumbledore: Fine. They're both just fine.

Harry: But, what happened to the Stone?

Dumbledore: Relax, dear boy. The stone has been destroyed. My friend Nicholas and I had a little chat and agreed it was best all around.

Harry: But Flamel, he'll die, won't he?

Dumbledore: {sits on the bed.} He has enough Elixir to set his affairs in order. But yes, he will die.

Harry: How is it I got the Stone, sir? One minute I was staring in the mirror, and the next...

Dumbledore: Ah. You see, only a person who wanted to find the Stone, find it, but not use it, would be able to get it. That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me thats saying something. {Smile both.}

Harry: Does that mean, with the Stone gone, I mean, that Voldemort can never come back?

Dumbledore: Ah, I'm afraid there are ways in which he can return. Harry, do you know why Professor Quirrell couldn't bear to have you touch him? {Harry shakes his head.} It was because of your mother. She sacrificed herself for you, and that kind of act leaves a mark. {Harry touches his scar.} No, no, this kind of mark cannot be seen. It lives in your very skin.

Harry: What is it?

Dumbledore: Love, Harry, love. {Pats Harry's head and stands up.} Ah. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. I was most unfortunate in my youth to come across a vomit flavoured one, and since then I have lost my liking for them. But I think I could be safe with a nice toffee...{takes brown bean and eats it.} Mm. Alas. Earwax.


Scene:

Harry approaches a room where up on a stairwell balcony Hermione and Ron are talking. They stop when they see Harry and lean over the railing.


Harry: All right there, Ron?

Ron: All right? You?

Harry: {shrug} All right. Hermione?

Hermione: {smile} Never better.


Scene:

In the great hall. All students are seated, and green banners with snakes on them are around the ceiling.

Dumbledore, at the head table, nods to McGonagall.

She dings her glass and the chatter stops. Dumbledore rises.


Dumbledore: Another year gone. And now, as I understand it, the house cup needs awarding, and the points stand thus. In fourth place, Gryffindor with 312 points. {Clapping. Harry and Hermione hide their heads.} Third place, Hufflepuff, with 352 points. {Clapping.} In second place, Ravenclaw, with 426 points. {Clapping.} And in first place, with 472 points, Slytherin House.


There is immense cheering.


Students: Whoo! Yeah!

Draco: Nice one, Mate! {sees Ron looking at him and sneers.}

Dumbledore: Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account. And I have a few last minute points to award. {The Gryffindor students look up.} To Miss Hermione Granger, for the use of cool intellect when others were in great peril, 50 points. {Applause.}

Harry: {Pats} Good job.

Dumbledore: Second, to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess {Ron looks at Harry and mouths, 'Me?' Harrynods, and mouths, 'You!'} that Hogwarts has seen these many years...50 points. {Applause} And third, to Mr. Harry Potter, for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house 60 points. {Immense cheering.}

Hermione: We're tied with Slytherin!

Dumbledore: And finally, it takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends. I award 10 points to Neville Longbottom.


Immense cheering erupts. Neville is unbelieving, and sits there while cheering gets louder. Draco is downfallen.


Dumbledore: Assuming that my calculations are correct, I believe that a change of direction is in order. {Claps. The green banners change to Gryffindor red and yellow.} Gryffindor wins the House Cup!


Cheering.


Hagrid: Yes! {grins}


All students stand and throw their hats into the air, except Draco, who smashes his down onto the table.


Seamus: Neville! {Shakes his hand.}


All rub each other's hair and jump around, cheering and laughing.


Lee: Yeah! We won!! {Jumps with Harry, who looks back and grins very widely.}


Scene:

The outdoor train station. Students are walking around, getting in the train.


Hagrid: Come on now, hurry up. You'll be late. Train's leaving. Go on. Go on. Come on. Hurry up.


Harry hands Hedwig to a train man, and walks to an open door of the train with Hermione. Hermione waves to Hagrid, who waves back. Hermione gets in the train.


Hermione: Come on, Harry.

Harry: One minute. {He walks over to Hagrid.}

Hagrid: Thought you were leaving without saying good-bye, didja? {Hagrid takes a red album out of his coat pocket and hands it to Harry.} This is for you.


Harry opens the album and sees a picture, moving, of him as a baby with his parents. They are all smiling and waving. Harry smiles.


Harry: Thanks, Hagrid. {Shakes Hagrid's hand, then hugs him tightly.}

Hagrid: Oh. Go on...on with you. {Harry lets go.} Oh, listen, Harry, if that dolt of a cousin of yours, Dudley, gives you any grief, you could always, um, threaten him with a nice pair of ears to go with that tail of his.

Harry: But Hagrid, we're not allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts. You know that.

Hagrid: I do. But your cousin don't, do he? Eh? {chuckle} Off you go.


Harry walks away, back to the train door where Hermione and Ron are waiting.


Hermione: Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?

Harry: I'm not going home. Not really.


The train whistles and they climb aboard. As the train starts to leave and the camera pans up over the whole scene, Harry waves out the window to Hagrid, who waves back and then waves more to other students as the camera pans far back, then the credits begin.

 

Nah Gin, I'm pretty sure I know how to spell - According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don’t you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I’m excited. Barry’s father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, “Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably.” MARTIN BENSON Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B’s. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry’s hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I’ve got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You’ve got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that’s me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We’ll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry’s friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: “Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: “I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!.” Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry’s hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It’s a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I’d make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I’m glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who’s jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I’m not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don’t waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could’ve just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!! ADAM I love this incorporating the amusement park right into our regular day. BARRY I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations. CUT TO: SEQ. 95 - GRADUATION EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - CONTINUOUS Barry and Adam come to a stop. They exit the car, and fly over the crowd to their seats. * BARRY * (re: graduation ceremony) * Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under * the circumstances. * They land in their seats. BARRY (CONT’D) Well Adam, today we are men. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 5. ADAM We are. BARRY Bee-men. ADAM Amen! BARRY Hallelujah. Barry hits Adam’s forehead. Adam goes into the rapture. An announcement comes over the PA. ANNOUNCER (V.O) Students, faculty, distinguished bees...please welcome, Dean Buzzwell. ANGLE ON: DEAN BUZZWELL steps up to the podium. The podium has a sign that reads: “Welcome Graduating Class of:”, with train-station style flipping numbers after it. BUZZWELL Welcome New Hive City graduating class of... The numbers on the podium change to 9:15. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) ...9:15. (he clears his throat) And that concludes our graduation ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries. BARRY Are we going to pick our job today? ADAM I heard it’s just orientation. The rows of chairs change in transformer-like mechanical motion to Universal Studios type tour trams. Buzzwell walks off stage. BARRY (re: trams) Whoa, heads up! Here we go. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 6. SEQ. 125 - “FACTORY” FEMALE VOICE (V.O) Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (in Spanish) Dejen las manos y antennas adentro del tram a todos tiempos. BARRY I wonder what it’s going to be like? ADAM A little scary. Barry shakes Adam. BARRY AND ADAM AAHHHH! The tram passes under SIGNS READING: “Honex: A Division of Honesco: A Part of the Hexagon Group.” TRUDY Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco, and a part of the Hexagon group. BARRY This is it! The Honex doors OPEN, revealing the factory. BARRY (CONT’D) Wow. TRUDY We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive where our top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent adjusted and bubble contoured into this... Trudy GRABS a TEST TUBE OF HONEY from a technician. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 7. TRUDY (CONT’D) ...soothing, sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow, you all know as... EVERYONE ON THE TRAM (in unison) H-o-n-e-y. Trudy flips the flask into the crowd, and laughs as they all scramble for it. ANGLE ON: A GIRL BEE catching the honey. ADAM (sotto) That girl was hot. BARRY (sotto) She’s my cousin. ADAM She is? BARRY Yes, we’re all cousins. ADAM Right. You’re right. TRUDY At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress testing a new helmet technology. ANGLE ON: A STUNT BEE in a HELMET getting hit with a NEWSPAPER, then a SHOE, then a FLYSWATTER. He gets up, and gives a “thumb’s up”. The graduate bees APPLAUD. ADAM (re: stunt bee) What do you think he makes? BARRY Not enough. TRUDY And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 8. BARRY Wow, what does that do? TRUDY Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ANGLE ON: The Krelman machine. Bees with hand-shaped hats on, rotating around a wheel to catch drips of honey. Adam’s hand shoots up. ADAM Can anyone work on the Krelman? TRUDY Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. There are over 3000 different bee occupations. But choose carefully, because you’ll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The bees CHEER. ANGLE ON: Barry’s smile dropping slightly. BARRY The same job for the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. ADAM What’s the difference? TRUDY And you’ll be happy to know that bees as a species haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. BARRY So you’ll just work us to death? TRUDY (laughing) We’ll sure try. Everyone LAUGHS except Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 9. The tram drops down a log-flume type steep drop. Cameras flash, as all the bees throw up their hands. The frame freezes into a snapshot. Barry looks concerned. The tram continues through 2 doors. FORM DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 175 - “WALKING THE HIVE” INT. HONEX LOBBY ANGLE ON: The log-flume photo, as Barry looks at it. ADAM Wow. That blew my mind. BARRY (annoyed) “What’s the difference?” Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. ADAM Well, I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY But Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM Barry, why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. They walk by a newspaper stand with A SANDWICH BOARD READING: “Bee Goes Berserk: Stings Seven Then Self.” ANGLE ON: A BEE filling his car’s gas tank from a honey pump. He fills his car some, then takes a swig for himself. NEWSPAPER BEE (to the bee guzzling gas) Hey! Barry and Adam begin to cross the street. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 10. BARRY Yeah but Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? They stop in the middle of the street. The traffic moves perfectly around them. ADAM Like what? Give me one example. BARRY (thinks) ...I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. They walk off. SEQ. 400 - “MEET THE JOCKS” SFX: The SOUND of Pollen Jocks. PAN DOWN from the Honex statue. J-GATE ANNOUNCER Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, hey, those are Pollen jocks. ADAM Wow. FOUR PATROL BEES FLY in through the hive’s giant Gothic entrance. The Patrol Bees are wearing fighter pilot helmets with black visors. ADAM (CONT’D) I’ve never seen them this close. BARRY They know what it’s like to go outside the hive. ADAM Yeah, but some of them don’t come back. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 11. The nectar from the pollen jocks is removed from their backpacks, and loaded into trucks on their way to Honex. A SMALL CROWD forms around the Patrol Bees. Each one has a PIT CREW that takes their nectar. Lou Loduca hurries a pit crew along: LOU LODUCA You guys did great! You’re monsters. You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! SCHOOL GIRLS are jumping up and down and squealing nearby. BARRY I wonder where those guys have just been? ADAM I don’t know. BARRY Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what. ADAM You can’t just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. BARRY Right. Pollen Jocks cross in close proximity to Barry and Adam. Some pollen falls off, onto Barry and Adam. BARRY (CONT’D) Look at that. That’s more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. ADAM (playing with the pollen) It’s just a status symbol. I think bees make too big a deal out of it. BARRY Perhaps, unless you’re wearing it, and the ladies see you wearing it. ANGLE ON: Two girl bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 12. ADAM Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? BARRY Distant, distant. ANGLE ON: TWO POLLEN JOCKS. JACKSON Look at these two. SPLITZ Couple of Hive Harrys. JACKSON Let’s have some fun with them. The pollen jocks approach. Barry and Adam continue to talk to the girls. GIRL 1 It must be so dangerous being a pollen jock. BARRY Oh yeah, one time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom. He had one paw on my throat, and with the other he was slapping me back and forth across the face. GIRL 1 Oh my. BARRY I never thought I’d knock him out. GIRL 2 (to Adam) And what were you doing during all of this? ADAM Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. The girl swipes some pollen off of Adam with a finger. BARRY (re: pollen) I can autograph that if you want. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 13. JACKSON Little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? BARRY Yeah. Gusty. BUZZ You know, we’re going to hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY Six miles, huh? ADAM (whispering) Barry. BUZZ It’s a puddle-jump for us. But maybe you’re not up for it. BARRY Maybe I am. ADAM (whispering louder) You are not! BUZZ We’re going, oh-nine hundred at JGate. ADAM (re: j-gate) Whoa. BUZZ (leaning in, on top of Barry) What do you think, Buzzy Boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY I might be. It all depends on what oh-nine hundred means. CUT TO: SEQ. 450 - “THE BALCONY” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 14. INT. BENSON HOUSE BALCONY - LATER Barry is standing on the balcony alone, looking out over the city. Martin Benson ENTERS, sneaks up behind Barry and gooses him in his ribs. MARTIN BENSON Honex! BARRY Oh, Dad. You surprised me. MARTIN BENSON (laughing) Have you decided what you’re interested in, Son? BARRY Well, there’s a lot of choices. MARTIN BENSON But you only get one. Martin LAUGHS. BARRY Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN BENSON Son, let me tell you something about stirring. (making the stirring motion) You grab that stick and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm, it’s a beautiful thing. BARRY You know dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. MARTIN BENSON And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 15. BARRY Well no... MARTIN BENSON Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY I’m not trying to be funny. MARTIN BENSON You’re not funny, you’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer. JANET BENSON You’re going to be a stirrer?! BARRY No one’s listening to me. MARTIN BENSON Wait until you see the sticks I have for you. BARRY I can say anything I want right now. I’m going to get an ant tattoo. JANET BENSON Let’s open some fresh honey and celebrate. BARRY Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax! MARTIN BENSON (toasting) To honey! BARRY Shave my antennae! JANET BENSON To honey! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 16. BARRY Shack up with a grasshopper, get a gold tooth, and start calling everybody “Dawg.” CUT TO: SEQ. 760 - “JOB PLACEMENT” EXT. HONEX LOBBY - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: A BEE BUS STOP. One group of bees stands on the pavement, as another group hovers above them. A doubledecker bus pulls up. The hovering bees get on the top level, and the standing bees get on the bottom. Barry and Adam pull up outside of Honex. ADAM I can’t believe we’re starting work today. BARRY Today’s the day. Adam jumps out of the car. ADAM (O.C) Come on. All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY Yeah, right... ANGLE ON: A BOARD READING: “JOB PLACEMENT BOARD”. Buzzwell, the Bee Processor, is at the counter. Another BEE APPLICANT, SANDY SHRIMPKIN is EXITING. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Is it still available? BUZZWELL Hang on. (he looks at changing numbers on the board) Two left. And...one of them’s yours. Congratulations Son, step to the side please. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 17. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Yeah! ADAM (to Sandy, leaving) What did you get? SANDY SHRIMPKIN Picking the crud out. That is stellar! ADAM Wow. BUZZWELL (to Adam and Barry) Couple of newbies? ADAM Yes Sir. Our first day. We are ready. BUZZWELL Well, step up and make your choice. ANGLE ON: A CHART listing the different sectors of Honex. Heating, Cooling, Viscosity, Krelman, Pollen Counting, Stunt Bee, Pouring, Stirrer, Humming, Regurgitating, Front Desk, Hair Removal, Inspector No. 7, Chef, Lint Coordinator, Stripe Supervisor, Antennae-ball polisher, Mite Wrangler, Swatting Counselor, Wax Monkey, Wing Brusher, Hive Keeper, Restroom Attendant. ADAM (to Barry) You want to go first? BARRY No, you go. ADAM Oh my. What’s available? BUZZWELL Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. ADAM Any chance of getting on to the Krelman, Sir? BUZZWELL Sure, you’re on. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 18. He plops the KRELMAN HAT onto Adam’s head. ANGLE ON: The job board. THE COLUMNS READ: “OCCUPATION” “POSITIONS AVAILABLE”, and “STATUS”. The middle column has numbers, and the right column has job openings flipping between “open”, “pending”, and “closed”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Oh, I’m sorry. The Krelman just closed out. ADAM Oh! He takes the hat off Adam. BUZZWELL Wax Monkey’s always open. The Krelman goes from “Closed” to “Open”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) And the Krelman just opened up again. ADAM What happened? BUZZWELL Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. (pointing at the board) See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that’s life. ANGLE ON: Barry’s disturbed expression. ADAM (feeling pressure to decide) Oh, this is so hard. Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector no. 7, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna-ball polisher, mite wrangler-- Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 19. Barry is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 775 - “LOU LODUCA SPEECH” EXT. J-GATE - SAME TIME Splitz, Jackson, Buzz, Lou and two other BEES are going through final pre-flight checks. Barry ENTERS. LOU LODUCA Alright, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... Barry’s antennae rings, like a phone. ADAM (V.O) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry whispers throughout. BARRY I’m going out. ADAM (V.O) Out? Out where? BARRY Out there. ADAM (V.O) (putting it together) Oh no. BARRY I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM (V.O) You’re going to die! You’re crazy! Hello? BARRY Oh, another call coming in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 20. ADAM (V.O) You’re cra-- Barry HANGS UP. ANGLE ON: Lou Loduca. LOU LODUCA If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean Deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. BARRY (timidly) Hey guys. BUZZ Well, look at that. SPLITZ Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LODUCA (to Barry) Hold it son, flight deck’s restricted. JACKSON It’s okay Lou, we’re going to take him up. Splitz and Jackson CHUCKLE. LOU LODUCA Really? Feeling lucky, are ya? A YOUNGER SMALLER BEE THAN BARRY, CHET, runs up with a release waiver for Barry to sign. CHET Sign here. Here. Just initial that. Thank you. LOU LODUCA Okay, you got a rain advisory today and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, (reading off clipboard) watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 21. Also, I got a couple reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada. BARRY That’s awful. LOU LODUCA And a reminder for all you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch positions! The Jocks get into formation, chanting as they move. LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Black and Yellow! JOCKS Hello! SPLITZ (to Barry) Are you ready for this, hot shot? BARRY Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Barry NODS, terrified. BUZZ Wind! - CHECK! JOCK #1 Antennae! - CHECK! JOCK #2 Nectar pack! - CHECK! JACKSON Wings! - CHECK! SPLITZ Stinger! - CHECK! BARRY Scared out of my shorts - CHECK. LOU LODUCA Okay ladies, let’s move it out. Everyone FLIPS their goggles down. Pit crew bees CRANK their wings, and remove the starting blocks. We hear loud HUMMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 22. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Pound those petunia's, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! A FLIGHT DECK GUY in deep crouch hand-signals them out the archway as the backwash from the bee wings FLUTTERS his jump suit. Barry follows everyone. SEQ. 800 - “FLYING WITH THE JOCKS” The bees climb above tree tops in formation. Barry is euphoric. BARRY Whoa! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Ha ha ha! (a beat) I feel so fast...and free. (re: kites in the sky) Box kite! Wow! They fly by several bicyclists, and approach a patch of flowers. BARRY (CONT'D) Flowers! SPLITZ This is blue leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold. BARRY (sotto) Roses. JACKSON Thirty degrees, roger, bringing it around. Many pollen jocks break off from the main group. They use their equipment to collect nectar from flowers. Barry flies down to watch the jocks collect the nectar. JOCK Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick. The jock fires the gun, and recoils. Barry watches the gun fill up with nectar. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 23. BARRY Oh, that is one Nectar Collector. JOCK You ever see pollination up close? BARRY No, Sir. He takes off, and the excess pollen dust falls causing the flowers to come back to life. JOCK (as he pollinates) I pick some pollen up over here, sprinkle it over here, maybe a dash over there, pinch on that one...see that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it? The FLOWERS PERK UP as he pollinates. BARRY Wow. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? JOCK ...that’s pollen power, Kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY Cool. The Jock WINKS at Barry. Barry rejoins the other jocks in the sky. They swoop in over a pond, kissing the surface. We see their image reflected in the water; they’re really moving. They fly over a fountain. BUZZ I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow, could be daisies. Don’t we need those? SPLITZ Copy that visual. We see what appear to be yellow flowers on a green field. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 24. They go into a deep bank and dive. BUZZ Hold on, one of these flowers seems to be on the move. SPLITZ Say again...Are you reporting a moving flower? BUZZ Affirmative. SEQ. 900 - “TENNIS GAME” The pollen jocks land. It is a tennis court with dozens of tennis balls. A COUPLE, VANESSA and KEN, plays tennis. The bees land right in the midst of a group of balls. KEN (O.C) That was on the line! The other bees start walking around amongst the immense, yellow globes. SPLITZ This is the coolest. What is it? They stop at a BALL on a white line and look up at it. JACKSON I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. SPLITZ (smelling tennis ball) Smells good. Not like a flower. But I like it. JACKSON Yeah, fuzzy. BUZZ Chemical-y. JACKSON Careful, guys, it’s a little grabby. Barry LANDS on a ball and COLLAPSES. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 25. BARRY Oh my sweet lord of bees. JACKSON Hey, candy brain, get off there! Barry attempts to pulls his legs off, but they stick. BARRY Problem! A tennis shoe and a hand ENTER FRAME. The hand picks up the ball with Barry underneath it. BARRY (CONT'D) Guys! BUZZ This could be bad. JACKSON Affirmative. Vanessa walks back to the service line, BOUNCES the ball. Each time it BOUNCES, the other bees cringe and GASP. ANGLE ON: Barry, terrified. Pure dumb luck, he’s not getting squished. BARRY (with each bounce) Very close...Gonna Hurt...Mamma’s little boy. SPLITZ You are way out of position, rookie. ANGLE ON: Vanessa serving. We see Barry and the ball up against the racket as she brings it back. She tosses the ball into the air; Barry’s eyes widen. The ball is STRUCK, and the rally is on. KEN Coming in at you like a missile! Ken HITS the ball back. Barry feels the g-forces. ANGLE ON: The Pollen Jocks watching Barry pass by them in SLOW MOTION. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 26. BARRY (in slow motion) Help me! JACKSON You know, I don't think these are flowers. SPLITZ Should we tell him? JACKSON I think he knows. BARRY (O.S) What is this?! Vanessa HITS a high arcing lob. Ken waits, poised for the return. We see Barry having trouble maneuvering the ball from fatigue. KEN (overly confident) Match point! ANGLE ON: Ken running up. He has a killer look in his eyes. He’s going to hit the ultimate overhead smash. KEN (CONT'D) You can just start packing up Honey, because I believe you’re about to eat it! ANGLE ON: Pollen Jocks. JACKSON Ahem! Ken is distracted by the jock. KEN What? No! He misses badly. The ball rockets into oblivion. Barry is still hanging on. ANGLE ON: Ken, berating himself. KEN (CONT’D) Oh, you cannot be serious. We hear the ball WHISTLING, and Barry SCREAMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 27. BARRY Yowser!!! SEQ. 1000 - “SUV” The ball flies through the air, and lands in the middle of the street. It bounces into the street again, and sticks in the grille of an SUV. INT. CAR ENGINE - CONTINUOUS BARRY’S POV: the grille of the SUV sucks him up. He tumbles through a black tunnel, whirling vanes, and pistons. BARRY AHHHHHHHHHHH!! OHHHH!! EECHHH!! AHHHHHH!! Barry gets chilled by the A/C system, and sees a frozen grasshopper. BARRY (CONT’D) (re: grasshopper) Eww, gross. CUT TO: INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS The car is packed with a typical suburban family: MOTHER, FATHER, eight-year old BOY, LITTLE GIRL in a car seat and a GRANDMOTHER. A big slobbery DOG is behind a grate. Barry pops into the passenger compartment, hitting the Mother’s magazine. MOTHER There’s a bee in the car! They all notice the bee and start SCREAMING. BARRY Aaahhhh! Barry tumbles around the car. We see the faces from his POV. MOTHER Do something! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 28. FATHER I’m driving! Barry flies by the little girl in her CAR SEAT. She waves hello. LITTLE GIRL Hi, bee. SON He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! The car SWERVES around the road. Barry flies into the back, where the slobbery dog SNAPS at him. Barry deftly avoids the jaws and gross, flying SPITTLE. MOTHER Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! Everyone in the car freezes. Barry freezes. They stare at each other, eyes going back and forth, waiting to see who will make the first move. Barry blinks. GRANNY He blinked! Granny pulls out a can of HAIR SPRAY. SON Spray him, Granny! Granny sprays the hair spray everywhere. FATHER What are you doing? GRANNY It’s hair spray! Extra hold! MOTHER Kill it! Barry gets sprayed back by the hair spray, then sucked out of the sunroof. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 29. EXT. CITY STREET - CONTINUOUS BARRY Wow. The tension level out here is unbelievable. I’ve got to get home. As Barry flies down the street, it starts to RAIN. He nimbly avoids the rain at first. BARRY (CONT’D) Whoa. Whoa! Can’t fly in rain! Can’t fly in rain! Can’t fly in-- A couple of drops hit him, his wings go limp and he starts falling. BARRY (CONT'D) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Barry sees a window ledge and aims for it and just makes it. Shivering and exhausted, he crawls into an open window as it CLOSES. SEQ. 1100 - “VANESSA SAVES BARRY” INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Inside the window, Barry SHAKES off the rain like a dog. Vanessa, Ken, Andy, and Anna ENTER the apartment. VANESSA Ken, can you close the window please? KEN Huh? Oh. (to Andy) Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? It folds out. Ken holds up his brochure, with photos of himself, and a resume in the middle. ANGLE ON: Barry hiding behind the curtains, as Ken CLOSES THE WINDOW. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 30. BARRY Oh no, more humans. I don’t need this. Barry HOVERS up into the air and THROWS himself into the glass. BARRY (CONT’D) (dazed) Ow! What was that? He does it again, and then multiple more times. BARRY (CONT'D) Maybe this time...this time, this time, this time, this time, this time, this time, this time. Barry JUMPS onto the drapes. BARRY (CONT'D) (out of breath) Drapes! (then, re: glass) That is diabolical. KEN It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top ten favorite movies. ANDY What’s your number one? Star Wars? KEN Ah, I don’t go for that, (makes Star Wars noises), kind of stuff. ANGLE ON: Barry. BARRY No wonder we’re not supposed to talk to them. They’re out of their minds. KEN When I walk out of a job interview they’re flabbergasted. They can’t believe the things I say. Barry looks around and sees the LIGHT BULB FIXTURE in the middle of the ceiling. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 31. BARRY (re: light bulb) Oh, there’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. Barry takes off and heads straight for the light bulb. His POV: The seventy-five watt label grows as he gets closer. BARRY (CONT’D) I don’t remember the sun having a big seventy five on it. Barry HITS the bulb and is KNOCKED SILLY. He falls into a BOWL OF GUACAMOLE. Andy dips his chip in the guacamole, taking Barry with it. ANGLE ON: Ken and Andy. KEN I’ll tell you what. You know what? I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Barry’s POV: Giant human mouth opening. KEN (CONT’D) Wait! Stop! Beeeeeee! ANNA Kill it! Kill it! They all JUMP up from their chairs. Andy looks around for something to use. Ken comes in for the kill with a big TIMBERLAND BOOT on each hand. KEN Stand back. These are winter boots. Vanessa ENTERS, and stops Ken from squashing Barry. VANESSA (grabs Ken’s arm) Wait. Don’t kill him. CLOSE UP: on Barry’s puzzled face. KEN You know I’m allergic to them. This thing could kill me. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 32. VANESSA Why does his life have any less value than yours? She takes a GLASS TUMBLER and places it over Barry. KEN Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA I’m just saying, all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. Barry looks up through the glass and watches this conversation, astounded. Vanessa RIPS Ken’s resume in half and SLIDES it under the glass. KEN (wistful) My brochure. There’s a moment of eye contact as she carries Barry to the window. She opens it and sets him free. VANESSA There you go, little guy. KEN (O.C) I’m not scared of them. But, you know, it’s an allergic thing. ANDY (O.C) * Hey, why don’t you put that on your * resume-brochure? * KEN (O.C) It’s not funny, my whole face could puff up. ANDY (O.C) Make it one of your “Special Skills.” KEN (O.C) You know, knocking someone out is also a special skill. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 33. EXT. WINDOWSILL - CONTINUOUS Barry stares over the window frame. He can’t believe what’s just happened. It is still RAINING. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 1200 - “BARRY SPEAKS” EXT. WINDOWSILL - LATER Barry is still staring through the window. Inside, everyone’s saying their good-byes. KEN Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA Uh, yeah sure Ken. You know, whatever. KEN You can put carob chips on there. VANESSA Good night. KEN (as he exits) Supposed to be less calories, or something. VANESSA Bye. She shuts the door. Vanessa starts cleaning up. BARRY I’ve got to say something. She saved my life. I’ve got to say something. Alright, here it goes. Barry flies in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 34. INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS Barry hides himself on different PRODUCTS placed along the kitchen shelves. He hides on a Bumblebee Tuna can, and a “Greetings From Coney Island” MUSCLE-MAN POSTCARD on the fridge. BARRY (on fridge) What would I say? (landing on a bottle) I could really get in trouble. He stands looking at Vanessa. BARRY (CONT'D) It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it! Come on! No, yes, no, do it! I can’t. How should I start it? You like jazz? No, that’s no good. Here she comes. Speak, you fool. As Vanessa walks by, Barry takes a DEEP BREATH. BARRY (CONT’D) (cheerful) Umm...hi. Vanessa DROPS A STACK OF DISHES, and HOPS BACK. BARRY (CONT’D) I’m sorry. VANESSA You’re talking. BARRY Yes, I know, I know. VANESSA You’re talking. BARRY I know, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. VANESSA It’s okay. It’s fine. It’s just, I know I’m dreaming, but I don’t recall going to bed. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 35. BARRY Well, you know I’m sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA Well yeah. I mean this is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean...you’re a bee. BARRY Yeah, I am a bee, and you know I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me and if it wasn’t for you...I mean, I had to thank you. It’s just the way I was raised. Vanessa intentionally JABS her hand with a FORK. VANESSA Ow! BARRY That was a little weird. VANESSA (to herself) I’m talking to a bee. BARRY Yeah. VANESSA I’m talking to a bee. BARRY Anyway... VANESSA And a bee is talking to me... BARRY I just want you to know that I’m grateful, and I’m going to leave now. VANESSA Wait, wait, wait, wait, how did you learn to do that? BARRY What? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 36. VANESSA The talking thing. BARRY Same way you did, I guess. Mama, Dada, honey, you pick it up. VANESSA That’s very funny. BARRY Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry. With what we have to deal with. Vanessa LAUGHS. BARRY (CONT’D) Anyway. VANESSA Can I, uh, get you something? BARRY Like what? VANESSA I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know. Coffee? BARRY Well, uh, I don’t want to put you out. VANESSA It’s no trouble. BARRY Unless you’re making anyway. VANESSA Oh, it takes two minutes. BARRY Really? VANESSA It’s just coffee. BARRY I hate to impose. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 37. VANESSA Don’t be ridiculous. BARRY Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA Hey, you want a little rum cake? BARRY I really shouldn’t. VANESSA Have a little rum cake. BARRY No, no, no, I can’t. VANESSA Oh, come on. BARRY You know, I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms here. VANESSA Where? BARRY Well... These stripes don’t help. VANESSA You look great. BARRY I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Vanessa starts POURING the coffee through an imaginary cup and directly onto the floor. BARRY (CONT'D) Are you alright? VANESSA No. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 1300 - “ROOFTOP COFFEE” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 38. EXT. VANESSA’S ROOF - LATER Barry and Vanessa are drinking coffee on her roof terrace. He is perched on her keychain. BARRY ...He can’t get a taxi. He’s making the tie in the cab, as they’re flying up Madison. So he finally gets there. VANESSA Uh huh? BARRY He runs up the steps into the church, the wedding is on... VANESSA Yeah? BARRY ...and he says, watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. VANESSA Uh huh? BARRY Why would I marry a watermelon? Barry laughs. Vanessa doesn’t. VANESSA Oh! Is that, uh, a bee joke? BARRY Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that we do. VANESSA Yeah, different. A BEAT. VANESSA (CONT’D) So anyway...what are you going to do, Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 39. BARRY About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. VANESSA I know how you feel. BARRY You do? VANESSA Sure, my parents wanted me to be a lawyer or doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY Really? VANESSA My only interest is flowers. BARRY Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. VANESSA Oh. BARRY Anyway, see there’s my hive, right there. You can see it. VANESSA Oh, you’re in Sheep Meadow. BARRY (excited) Yes! You know the turtle pond? VANESSA Yes? BARRY I’m right off of that. VANESSA Oh, no way. I know that area. Do you know I lost a toe-ring there once? BARRY Really? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 40. VANESSA Yes. BARRY Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA Why not? BARRY I don’t know. It’s like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA Really? Okay. A JANITOR in the background changes a LIGHTBULB. To him, it appears that Vanessa is talking to an imaginary friend. JANITOR You all right, ma’am? VANESSA Oh, yeah, fine. Just having two cups of coffee. BARRY Anyway, this has been great. (wiping his mouth) Thanks for the coffee. Barry gazes at Vanessa. VANESSA Oh yeah, it’s no trouble. BARRY Sorry I couldn’t finish it. Vanessa giggles. BARRY (CONT'D) (re: coffee) If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Ummm. Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA Sure. Here, have a crumb. She takes a CRUMB from the plate and hands it to Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 41. BARRY (a little dreamy) Oh, thanks. VANESSA Yeah. There is an awkward pause. BARRY Alright, well then, I guess I’ll see you around, or not, or... VANESSA Okay Barry. BARRY And thank you so much again, for before. VANESSA Oh that? BARRY Yeah. VANESSA Oh, that was nothing. BARRY Well, not nothing, but, anyway... Vanessa extends her hand, and shakes Barry’s gingerly. The Janitor watches. The lightbulb shorts out. The Janitor FALLS. CUT TO: SEQ. 1400 - “HONEX” INT. HONEX BUILDING - NEXT DAY ANGLE ON: A TEST BEE WEARING A PARACHUTE is in a wind tunnel, hovering through increasingly heavy wind. SIGNS UNDER A FLASHING LIGHT READ: “Test In Progress” & “Hurricane Survival Test”. 2 BEES IN A LAB COATS are observing behind glass. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 42. LAB COAT BEE 1 This can’t possibly work. LAB COAT BEE 2 Well, he’s all set to go, we may as well try it. (into the mic) Okay Dave, pull the chute. The test bee opens his parachute. He’s instantly blown against the rear wall. Adam and Barry ENTER. ADAM Sounds amazing. BARRY Oh, it was amazing. It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. ADAM Humans! Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant scary humans! What were they like? BARRY Huge and crazy. They talk crazy, they eat crazy giant things. They drive around real crazy. ADAM And do they try and kill you like on TV? BARRY Some of them. But some of them don’t. ADAM How’d you get back? BARRY Poodle. ADAM Look, you did it. And I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see out there, you had your “experience”, and now you’re back, you can pick out your job, and everything can be normal. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 43. ANGLE ON: LAB BEES examining a CANDY CORN through a microscope. BARRY Well... ADAM Well? BARRY Well, I met someone. ADAM You met someone? Was she Bee-ish? BARRY Mmm. ADAM Not a WASP? Your parents will kill you. BARRY No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM Spider? BARRY You know, I’m not attracted to the spiders. I know to everyone else it’s like the hottest thing with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. Barry makes a spider face. ADAM So, who is she? BARRY She’s a human. ADAM Oh no, no, no, no. That didn’t happen. You didn’t do that. That is a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. BARRY Her name’s Vanessa. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 44. ADAM Oh, oh boy! BARRY She’s so-o nice. And she’s a florist! ADAM Oh, no. No, no, no! You’re dating a human florist? BARRY We’re not dating. ADAM You’re flying outside the hive. You’re talking to human beings that attack our homes with power washers and M-80’s. That’s 1/8 of a stick of dynamite. BARRY She saved my life. And she understands me. ADAM This is over. Barry pulls out the crumb. BARRY Eat this. Barry stuffs the crumb into Adam’s face. ADAM This is not over. What was that? BARRY They call it a crumb. ADAM That was SO STINGING STRIPEY! BARRY And that’s not even what they eat. That just falls off what they eat. Do you know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM No. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 45. BARRY It’s bread... ADAM Come in here! BARRY and cinnamon, ADAM Be quiet! BARRY and frosting...they heat it up-- ADAM Sit down! INT. ADAM’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS BARRY Really hot! ADAM Listen to me! We are not them. We’re us. There’s us and there’s them. BARRY Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning... Barry rolls his chair down the corridor. ADAM There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. ANOTHER BEE JOINS IN. ANOTHER BEE Thinking bee. WIDER SHOT AS A 3RD BEE ENTERS, popping up over the cubicle wall. 3RD BEE Thinking bee. EVEN WIDER SHOT AS ALL THE BEES JOIN IN. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 46. OTHER BEES Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee. CUT TO: SEQ. 1500 - “POOLSIDE NAGGING” EXT. BACKYARD PARENT’S HOUSE - DAY Barry sits on a RAFT in a hexagon honey pool, legs dangling into the water. Janet Benson and Martin Benson stand over him wearing big, sixties sunglasses and cabana-type outfits. The sun shines brightly behind their heads. JANET BENSON (O.C) There he is. He’s in the pool. MARTIN BENSON You know what your problem is, Barry? BARRY I’ve got to start thinking bee? MARTIN BENSON Barry, how much longer is this going to go on? It’s been three days. I don’t understand why you’re not working. BARRY Well, I’ve got a lot of big life decisions I’m thinking about. MARTIN BENSON What life? You have no life! You have no job! You’re barely a bee! Barry throws his hands in the air. BARRY Augh. JANET BENSON Would it kill you to just make a little honey? Barry ROLLS off the raft and SINKS to the bottom of the pool. We hear his parents’ MUFFLED VOICES from above the surface. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 47. JANET BENSON (CONT'D) (muffled) Barry, come out from under there. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN BENSON Barry, I’m talking to you. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. PICNIC AREA - DAY MUSIC: “Sugar Sugar” by the Archies. Barry and Vanessa are having a picnic. A MOSQUITO lands on Vanessa’s leg. She SWATS it violently. Barry’s head whips around, aghast. They stare at each other awkwardly in a frozen moment, then BURST INTO HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER. Vanessa GETS UP. VANESSA You coming? BARRY Got everything? VANESSA All set. Vanessa gets into a one-man Ultra Light plane with a black and yellow paint scheme. She puts on her helmet. BARRY You go ahead, I’ll catch up. VANESSA (come hither wink) Don’t be too long. The Ultra Light takes off. Barry catches up. They fly sideby-side. VANESSA (CONT’D) Watch this! Vanessa does a loop, and FLIES right into the side of a mountain, BURSTING into a huge ball of flames. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 48. BARRY (yelling, anguished) Vanessa! EXT. BARRY’S PARENT’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Barry’s face bursting through the surface of the pool, GASPING for air, eyes opening in horror. MARTIN BENSON We’re still here, Barry. JANET BENSON I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond when you yell at him. MARTIN BENSON Then why are you yelling at me? JANET BENSON Because you don’t listen. MARTIN BENSON I’m not listening to this. Barry is toweling off, putting on his sweater. BARRY Sorry Mom, I’ve got to go. JANET BENSON Where are you going? BARRY Nowhere. I’m meeting a friend. Barry JUMPS off the balcony and EXITS. JANET BENSON (calling after him) A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON I just hope she’s Bee-ish. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 49. SEQ. 1700 - “STREETWALK/SUPERMARKET” EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP - DAY Vanessa FLIPS the sign to say “Sorry We Missed You”, and locks the door. ANGLE ON: A POSTER on Vanessa’s door for the Tournament of Roses Parade in Pasadena. BARRY So they have a huge parade of just flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA Oh, to be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream. Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY Wow, a tournament. Do the roses actually compete in athletic events? VANESSA No. Alright, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? BARRY It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? VANESSA Hmmm. BARRY Isn’t that faster? VANESSA Yeah, okay. I see, I see. Alright, your turn. Barry and Vanessa walk/fly down a New York side street, no other pedestrians near them. BARRY Ah! Tivo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 50. VANESSA What, you don’t have anything like that? BARRY We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA Oh my. They turn the corner onto a busier avenue and people start to swat at Barry. MAN Dumb bees! VANESSA You must just want to sting all those jerks. BARRY We really try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. VANESSA So you really have to watch your temper? They ENTER a SUPERMARKET. CUT TO: INT. SUPERMARKET BARRY Oh yeah, very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. You work through it like any emotion-- anger, jealousy, (under his breath) lust. Barry hops on top of some cardboard boxes in the middle of an aisle. A stock boy, HECTOR, whacks him with a rolled up magazine. VANESSA (to Barry) Oh my goodness. Are you okay? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 51. BARRY Yeah. Whew! Vanessa WHACKS Hector over the head with the magazine. VANESSA (to Hector) What is wrong with you?! HECTOR It’s a bug. VANESSA Well he’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep. Vanessa pushes him, and Hector EXITS, muttering. BARRY (shaking it off) What was that, a Pick and Save circular? VANESSA Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY It felt like about ten pages. Seventy-five’s pretty much our limit. VANESSA Boy, you’ve really got that down to a science. BARRY Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA I’ll bet. Barry stops, sees the wall of honey jars. BARRY What, in the name of Mighty Hercules, is this? How did this get here? Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select? VANESSA Is he that actor? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 52. BARRY I never heard of him. Why is this here? VANESSA For people. We eat it. BARRY Why? (gesturing around the market) You don’t have enough food of your own? VANESSA Well yes, we-- BARRY How do you even get it? VANESSA Well, bees make it... BARRY I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s Heating and Cooling, and Stirring...you need a whole Krelman thing. VANESSA It’s organic. BARRY It’s our-ganic! VANESSA It’s just honey, Barry. BARRY Just...what?! Bees don’t know about this. This is stealing. A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, our schools, our hospitals. This is all we have. And it’s on sale? I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I’m going to get to the bottom of all of this! He RIPS the label off the Ray Liotta Private Select. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 53. SEQ. 1800 - “WINDSHIELD” EXT. BACK OF SUPERMARKET LOADING DOCK - LATER THAT DAY Barry disguises himself by blacking out his yellow lines with a MAGIC MARKER and putting on some war paint. He sees Hector, the stock boy, with a knife CUTTING open cardboard boxes filled with honey jars. MAN You almost done? HECTOR Almost. Barry steps in some honey, making a SNAPPING noise. Hector stops and turns. HECTOR (CONT’D) He is here. I sense it. Hector grabs his BOX CUTTER. Barry REACTS, hides himself behind the box again. HECTOR (CONT’D) (talking too loud, to no one in particular) Well, I guess I’ll go home now, and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. A BEAT. Hector pretends to exit. He takes a couple of steps in place. ANGLE ON: The honey jar. Barry steps out into a moody spotlight. BARRY You’re busted, box boy! HECTOR Ah ha! I knew I heard something. So, you can talk. Barry flies up, stinger out, pushing Hector up against the wall. As Hector backs up, he drops his knife. BARRY Oh, I can talk. And now you’re going to start talking. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 54. Where are you getting all the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier?! HECTOR I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought we were all friends. The last thing we want to do is upset any of you...bees! Hector grabs a PUSHPIN. Barry fences with his stinger. HECTOR (CONT’D) You’re too late. It’s ours now! BARRY You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword. HECTOR You, sir, are about to be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Barry and Hector get into a cross-swords, nose-to-nose confrontation. BARRY Where is the honey coming from? Barry knocks the pushpin out of his hand. Barry puts his stinger up to Hector’s nose. BARRY (CONT'D) Tell me where?! HECTOR (pointing to a truck) Honey Farms. It comes from Honey Farms. ANGLE ON: A Honey Farms truck leaving the parking lot. Barry turns, takes off after the truck through an alley. He follows the truck out onto a busy street, dodging a bus, and several cabs. CABBIE Crazy person! He flies through a metal pipe on the top of a truck. BARRY OOOHHH! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 55. BARRY (CONT'D) Barry grabs onto a bicycle messenger’s backpack. The honey farms truck starts to pull away. Barry uses the bungee cord to slingshot himself towards the truck. He lands on the windshield, where the wind plasters him to the glass. He looks up to find himself surrounded by what appear to be DEAD BUGS. He climbs across, working his way around the bodies. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh my. What horrible thing has happened here? Look at these faces. They never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere. A MOSQUITO opens his eyes. MOOSEBLOOD Pssst! Just keep still. BARRY What? You’re not dead? MOOSEBLOOD Do I look dead? Hey man, they will wipe anything that moves. Now, where are you headed? BARRY To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood. Crazy stuff. Blows your head off. LADYBUG I’m going to Tacoma. BARRY (to fly) What about you? MOOSEBLOOD He really is dead. BARRY Alright. The WIPER comes towards them. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 56. MOOSEBLOOD Uh oh. BARRY What is that? MOOSEBLOOD Oh no! It’s a wiper, triple blade! BARRY Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD Jump on. It’s your only chance, bee. They hang on as the wiper goes back and forth. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) (yelling to the truck driver through the glass) Why does everything have to be so dog-gone clean?! How much do you people need to see? Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! CUT TO: INT. TRUCK CAB SFX: Radio. RADIO VOICE For NPR News in Washington, I’m Carl Kasell. EXT. TRUCK WINDSHIELD MOOSEBLOOD But don’t kill no more bugs! The Mosquito is FLUNG off of the wiper. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Beeeeeeeeeeeeee! BARRY Moose blood guy! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 57. Barry slides toward the end of the wiper, is thrown off, but he grabs the AERIAL and hangs on for dear life. Barry looks across and sees a CRICKET on another vehicle in the exact same predicament. They look at each other and SCREAM in unison. BARRY AND CRICKET Aaaaaaaaaah! ANOTHER BUG grabs onto the aerial, and screams as well. INT. TRUCK CAB - SAME TIME DRIVER You hear something? TRUCKER PASSENGER Like what? DRIVER Like tiny screaming. TRUCKER PASSENGER Turn off the radio. The driver reaches down and PRESSES a button, lowering the aerial. EXT. TRUCK WINDSHIELD - SAME TIME Barry and the other bug do a “choose up” to the bottom, Barry wins. BARRY Aha! Then he finally has to let go and gets thrown into the truck horn atop cab. Mooseblood is inside. MOOSEBLOOD Hey, what’s up bee boy? BARRY Hey, Blood! DISSOLVE TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 58. INT. TRUCK HORN - LATER BARRY ...and it was just an endless row of honey jars as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD Wow. BARRY So I’m just assuming wherever this honey truck goes, that’s where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours! MOOSEBLOOD Bees hang tight. BARRY Well, we’re all jammed in there. It’s a close community. MOOSEBLOOD Not us, man. We’re on our own. Every mosquito is on his own. BARRY But what if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD Trouble? You're a mosquito. You're in trouble! Nobody likes us. They’re just all smacking. People see a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY At least you’re out in the world. You must meet a lot of girls. MOOSEBLOOD Mosquito girls try to trade up; get with a moth, dragonfly...mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. A BLOOD MOBILE pulls up alongside. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Whoa, you have got to be kidding me. Mooseblood’s about to leave the building. So long bee. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 59. Mooseblood EXITS the horn, and jumps onto the blood mobile. MOOSEBLOOD (CONT'D) Hey guys. I knew I’d catch you all down here. Did you bring your crazy straws? CUT TO: SEQ. 1900 - “THE APIARY” EXT. APIARY - LATER Barry sees a SIGN, “Honey Farms” The truck comes to a stop. SFX: The Honey farms truck blares its horn. Barry flies out, lands on the hood. ANGLE ON: Two BEEKEEPERS, FREDDY and ELMO, walking around to the back of the gift shop. Barry follows them, and lands in a nearby tree FREDDY ...then we throw it in some jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. BARRY What is this place? ELMO Bees got a brain the size of a pinhead. FREDDY They are pinheads. The both LAUGH. ANGLE ON: Barry REACTING. They arrive at the back of the shop where one of them opens a SMOKER BOX. FREDDY (CONT’D) Hey, check out the new smoker. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 60. ELMO Oh, Sweet. That’s the one you want. FREDDY The Thomas 3000. BARRY Smoker? FREDDY 90 puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. They LAUGH again, nefariously. FREDDY (CONT’D) Couple of breaths of this, and it knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY “They make the honey, and we make the money?” Barry climbs onto the netting of Freddy’s hat. He climbs up to the brim and looks over the edge. He sees the apiary boxes as Freddy SMOKES them. BARRY (CONT'D) Oh my. As Freddy turns around, Barry jumps into an open apiary box, and into an apartment. HOWARD and FRAN are just coming to from the smoking. BARRY (CONT’D) What’s going on? Are you okay? HOWARD Yeah, it doesn’t last too long. HE COUGHS a few times. BARRY How did you two get here? Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? HOWARD (pointing to a picture on the wall) "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 61. Our queen was moved here, we had no choice. BARRY (looking at a picture on the wall) This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes. That’s a dragqueen! The other wall opens. Barry sees the hundreds of apiary boxes. BARRY (CONT'D) What is this? Barry pulls out his camera, and starts snapping. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh no. There’s hundreds of them. (V.O, as Barry takes pictures) Bee honey, our honey, is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale. CUT TO: SEQ. 2100 - “BARRY TELLS FAMILY” INT. BARRY’S PARENT’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - LATER Barry has assembled his parents, Adam, and Uncle Carl. BARRY This is worse than anything the bears have done to us. And I intend to do something about it. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, stop. MARTIN BENSON Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That’s just a rumor. BARRY Do these look like rumors? Barry throws the PICTURES on the table. Uncle Carl, cleaning his glasses with his shirt tail, digs through a bowl of nuts with his finger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 62. HOWARD (CONT'D) UNCLE CARL That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET BENSON Barry, how did you get mixed up in all this? ADAM (jumping up) Because he’s been talking to humans! JANET BENSON Whaaat? MARTIN BENSON Talking to humans?! Oh Barry. ADAM He has a human girlfriend and they make out! JANET BENSON Make out? Barry? BARRY We do not. ADAM You wish you could. BARRY Who’s side are you on? ADAM The bees! Uncle Carl stands up and pulls his pants up to his chest. UNCLE CARL I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Man, those crazy legs kept me up all night. Hotcheewah! JANET BENSON Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY This is what I want to do for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 63. Dad, I remember you coming home some nights so overworked, your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop them. MARTIN BENSON Ehhh... JANET BENSON (to Martin) I remember that. BARRY What right do they have to our hardearned honey? We’re living on two cups a year. They’re putting it in lip balm for no reason what-soever. MARTIN BENSON Even if it’s true, Barry, what could one bee do? BARRY I’m going to sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN BENSON In the face? BARRY No. MARTIN BENSON In the eye? That would really hurt. BARRY No. MARTIN BENSON Up the nose? That’s a killer. BARRY No. There’s only one place you can sting the humans. One place where it really matters. CUT TO: SEQ. 2300 - “HIVE AT 5 NEWS/BEE LARRY KING” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 64. BARRY (CONT'D) INT. NEWS STUDIO - DAY DRAMATIC NEWS MUSIC plays as the opening news sequence rolls. We see the “Hive at Five” logo, followed by shots of past news events: A BEE freeway chase, a BEE BEARD protest rally, and a BEAR pawing at the hive as the BEES flee in panic. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) Hive at Five, the hive’s only full hour action news source... SHOTS of NEWSCASTERS flash up on screen. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) (CONT'D) With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk... BOB has a big shock of anchorman hair, gray temples and overly white teeth. BOB BUMBLE (V.O.) (CONT'D) ...weather with Storm Stinger, sports with Buzz Larvi, and Jeanette Chung. JEANETTE is an Asian bee. BOB BUMBLE (CONT'D) Good evening, I’m Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG And I’m Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE Our top story, a tri-county bee, Barry Benson... INSERT: Barry’s graduation picture. BOB BUMBLE (CONT'D) ...is saying he intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it, and profiting from it illegally. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 65. INT. BEENN STUDIO - BEE LARRY KING LIVE BEE LARRY KING, wearing suspenders and glasses, is interviewing Barry. A LOWER-THIRD CHYRON reads: “Bee Larry King Live.” BEE LARRY KING Don’t forget, tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we are going to have three former Queens all right here in our studio discussing their new book, “Classy Ladies,” out this week on Hexagon. (to Barry) Tonight, we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, I’m just a kid from the hive, I can’t do this? BARRY Larry, bees have never been afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee-Columbus? Bee-Ghandi? Be-geesus? BEE LARRY KING Well, where I’m from you wouldn’t think of suing humans. We were thinking more like stick ball, candy stores. BARRY How old are you? BEE LARRY KING I want you to know that the entire bee community is supporting you in this case, which is certain to be the trial of the bee century. BARRY Thank you, Larry. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world, too. BEE LARRY KING It’s a common name. Next week on Bee Larry King... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 66. BARRY No, I mean he looks like you. And he has a show with suspenders and different colored dots behind him. BEE LARRY KING Next week on Bee Larry King... BARRY Old guy glasses, and there’s quotes along the bottom from the guest you’re watching even though you just heard them... BEE LARRY KING Bear week next week! They’re scary, they’re hairy, and they’re here live. Bee Larry King EXITS. BARRY Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes... (lights go out) Very Jewish. CUT TO: SEQ. 2400 - “FLOWER SHOP” INT. VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP - NIGHT Stacks of law books are piled up, legal forms, etc. Vanessa is talking with Ken in the other room. KEN Look, in tennis, you attack at the point of weakness. VANESSA But it was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. KEN Honey, her backhand’s a joke. I’m not going to take advantage of that? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 67. BARRY (O.C) Quiet please. Actual work going on here. KEN Is that that same bee? BARRY (O.C) Yes it is. VANESSA I’m helping him sue the human race. KEN What? Barry ENTERS. BARRY Oh, hello. KEN Hello Bee. Barry flies over to Vanessa. VANESSA This is Ken. BARRY Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size 10 1/2, Vibram sole I believe. KEN Why does he talk again, Hun? VANESSA (to Ken, sensing the tension) Listen, you’d better go because we’re really busy working. KEN But it’s our yogurt night. VANESSA (pushing him out the door) Oh...bye bye. She CLOSES the door. KEN Why is yogurt night so difficult?! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 68. Vanessa ENTERS the back room carrying coffee. VANESSA Oh you poor thing, you two have been at this for hours. BARRY Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ANGLE ON: A EMPTY CINNABON BOX with Adam asleep inside, covered in frosting. VANESSA How many sugars? BARRY Just one. I try not to use the competition. So, why are you helping me, anyway? VANESSA Bees have good qualities. BARRY (rowing on the sugar cube like a gondola) Si, Certo. VANESSA And it feels good to take my mind off the shop. I don’t know why, instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY Yeah, those are great...if you’re 3. VANESSA And artificial flowers. BARRY (re: plastic flowers) Oh, they just get me psychotic! VANESSA Yeah, me too. BARRY The bent stingers, the pointless pollination. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 69. VANESSA Bees must hate those fake plastic things. BARRY There’s nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. VANESSA (holding up the lawsuit documents) Well, maybe this can make up for it a little bit. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP They EXIT the store, and cross to the mailbox. VANESSA You know Barry, this lawsuit is a pretty big deal. BARRY I guess. VANESSA Are you sure that you want to go through with it? BARRY Am I sure? (kicking the envelope into the mailbox) When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty. CUT TO: SEQ. 2700 - “MEET MONTGOMERY” EXT. MANHATTAN COURTHOUSE - DAY P.O.V SHOT - A camera feed turns on, revealing a newsperson. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 70. PRESS PERSON #2 (talking to camera) Sarah, it’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan where all eyes and ears of the world are anxiously waiting, because for the first time in history, we’re going to hear for ourselves if a honey bee can actually speak. ANGLE ON: Barry, Vanessa, and Adam getting out of the cab. The press spots Barry and Vanessa and pushes in. Adam sits on Vanessa’s shoulder. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry, Vanessa, and Adam sit at the Plaintiff’s Table. VANESSA (turns to Barry) What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY I don’t know, but it’s pretty big, isn’t it? ADAM I can’t believe how many humans don’t have to be at work during the day. BARRY Hey, you think these billion dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE STEPS - CONTINUOUS A BIG BLACK CAR pulls up. ANGLE ON: the grill filling the frame. We see the “L.T.M” monogram on the hood ornament. The defense lawyer, LAYTON T. MONTGOMERY comes out, squashing a bug on the pavement. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 71. INT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Barry SHUDDERS. VANESSA What’s the matter? BARRY I don’t know. I just got a chill. Montgomery ENTERS. He walks by Barry’s table shaking a honey packet. MONTGOMERY Well, if it isn’t the B-Team. (re: the honey packet) Any of you boys work on this? He CHUCKLES. The JUDGE ENTERS. SEQ. 3000 - “WITNESSES” BAILIFF All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE (shuffling papers) Alright...Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York. Barry Bee Benson vs. the honey industry, is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you are representing the five major food companies, collectively. ANGLE ON: Montgomery’s BRIEFCASE. It has an embossed emblem of an EAGLE, holding a gavel in one talon and a briefcase in the other. MONTGOMERY A privilege. JUDGE Mr. Benson. Barry STANDS. JUDGE (CONT’D) You are representing all bees of the world? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 72. Montgomery, the stenographer, and the jury lean in. CUT TO: EXT. COURTHOUSE - CONTINUOUS The spectators outside freeze. The helicopters angle forward to listen closely. CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE BARRY Bzzz bzzz bzzz...Ahh, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yes, your honor. We are ready to proceed. ANGLE ON: Courtroom hub-bub. JUDGE And Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Montgomery rises. MONTGOMERY (grumbles, clears his throat) Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. My grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we were to live in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what it would mean. Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silk worm for the elastic in my britches. Talking bee. How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion picture capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams, robotics, ventriloquism, cloning...for all we know he could be on steroids! Montgomery leers at Barry, who moves to the stand. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 73. JUDGE Mr. Benson? Barry makes his opening statement. BARRY Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. And as a bee, honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it, we make it, and we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take whatever they want from us cause we’re the little guys. And what I’m hoping is that after this is all over, you’ll see how by taking our honey, you’re not only taking away everything we have, but everything we are. ANGLE ON: Vanessa smiling. ANGLE ON: The BEE GALLERY wiping tears away. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE Barry’s family is watching the case on TV. JANET BENSON Oh, I wish he would dress like that all the time. So nice... CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM - LATER JUDGE Call your first witness. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 74. INT. COURTHOUSE - LATER BARRY So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms. Pretty big company you have there? MR. VANDERHAYDEN I suppose so. BARRY And I see you also own HoneyBurton, and Hon-Ron. MR. VANDERHAYDEN Yes. They provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term, I have to say. I don’t imagine you employ any bee free-ers, do you? MR. VANDERHAYDEN No. BARRY I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you. MR. VANDERHAYDEN (louder) No. BARRY No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. And not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey? MR. VANDERHAYDEN Well, they’re very lovable creatures. Yogi-bear, Fozzy-bear, Build-a-bear. BARRY Yeah, you mean like this?! Vanessa and the SUPERINTENDANT from her building ENTER with a GIANT FEROCIOUS GRIZZLY BEAR. He has a neck collar and chains extending from either side. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 75. By pulling the chains, they bring him directly in front of Vanderhayden. The bear LUNGES and ROARS. BARRY (CONT'D) Bears kill bees! How would you like his big hairy head crashing into your living room? Biting into your couch, spitting out your throwpillows...rowr, rowr! The bear REACTS. BEAR Rowr!! BARRY Okay, that’s enough. Take him away. Vanessa and the Superintendant pull the bear out of the courtroom. Vanderhayden TREMBLES. The judge GLARES at him. CUT TO: INT. COURTROOM- A LITTLE LATER Barry questions STING. BARRY So, Mr. Sting. Thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me, I have to say. Where have I heard it before? STING I was with a band called "The Police". BARRY But you've never been a police officer of any kind, have you? STING No, I haven't. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 76. BARRY No, you haven’t. And so, here we have yet another example of bee culture being casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING Oh please. BARRY Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say, (looking in folder) Mr. Gordon M. Sumner? The jury GASPS. MONTGOMERY (to his aides) That’s not his real name? You idiots! CUT TO: INT. COURTHOUSE- LATER BARRY Mr. Liotta, first may I offer my belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on E.R. in 2005. LIOTTA Thank you. Thank you. Liotta LAUGHS MANIACALLY. BARRY I also see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome, but with a churning inner turmoil that’s always ready to blow. LIOTTA I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 77. BARRY Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you, Mr. Liotta? Exploiting tiny helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part, and learn your lines, Sir? LIOTTA Watch it Benson, I could blow right now. BARRY This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! LIOTTA (exploding, trying to smash Barry with the Emmy) Why doesn’t someone just step on this little creep and we can all go home? You’re all thinking it. Say it! JUDGE Order! Order in this courtroom! A MONTAGE OF NEWSPAPER HEADLINES FOLLOWS: NEW YORK POST: “Bees to Humans: Buzz Off”. NEW YORK TELEGRAM: “Sue Bee”. DAILY VARIETY: “Studio Dumps Liotta Project. Slams Door on Unlawful Entry 2.” CUT TO: SEQ. 3175 - “CANDLELIGHT DINNER” INT. VANESSA’S APARTMENT Barry and Vanessa are having a candle light dinner. Visible behind Barry is a “LITTLE MISSY” SET BOX, with the flaps open. BARRY Well, I just think that was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 78. VANESSA I’m telling you, I think the jury’s on our side. BARRY Are we doing everything right...you know, legally? VANESSA I’m a florist. BARRY Right, right. Barry raises his glass. BARRY (CONT’D) Well, here’s to a great team. VANESSA To a great team. They toast. Ken ENTERS KEN Well hello. VANESSA Oh...Ken. BARRY Hello. VANESSA I didn’t think you were coming. KEN No, I was just late. I tried to call. But, (holding his cell phone) the battery... VANESSA I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily he was free. BARRY Yeah. KEN (gritting his teeth) Oh, that was lucky. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 79. VANESSA Well, there’s still a little left. I could heat it up. KEN Yeah, heat it up. Sure, whatever. Vanessa EXITS. Ken and Barry look at each other as Barry eats. BARRY So, I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. I find the ball a little grabby. KEN That’s where I usually sit. Right there. VANESSA (O.C) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that “eating with chopsticks” isn’t really a special skill. KEN (to Barry) You think I don’t see what you’re doing? BARRY Hey look, I know how hard it is trying to find the right job. We certainly have that in common. KEN Do we? BARRY Well, bees have 100% employment, of course. But we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken holds his table knife up. It slips out of his hand. He goes under the table to pick it up. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 80. VANESSA Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was alright. Ken hits his head on the table. BARRY I’m going to go drain the old stinger. KEN Yeah, you do that. Barry EXITS to the bathroom, grabbing a small piece of a VARIETY MAGAZINE on the way. BARRY Oh, look at that. Ken slams the champagne down on the table. Ken closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands. He grabs a magazine on the way into the bathroom. SEQ. 2800 - “BARRY FIGHTS KEN” INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Ken ENTERS, closes the door behind him. He’s not happy. Barry is washing his hands. He glances back at Ken. KEN You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. BARRY What’s that? KEN Italian Vogue. BARRY Mamma Mia, that’s a lot of pages. KEN It’s a lot of ads. BARRY Remember what Van said. Why is your life any more valuable than mine? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 81. KEN It’s funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! Ken WHACKS at Barry with the magazine. He misses and KNOCKS EVERYTHING OFF THE VANITY. Ken grabs a can of AIR FRESHENER. KEN (CONT'D) I think something stinks in here. He sprays at Barry. BARRY I love the smell of flowers. KEN Yeah? How do you like the smell of flames? Ken lights the stream. BARRY Not as much. Barry flies in a circle. Ken, trying to stay with him, spins in place. ANGLE ON: Flames outside the bathroom door. Ken slips on the Italian Vogue, falls backward into the shower, pulling down the shower curtain. The can hits him in the head, followed by the shower curtain rod, and the rubber duck. Ken reaches back, grabs the handheld shower head. He whips around, looking for Barry. ANGLE ON: A WATERBUG near the drain. WATERBUG Waterbug. Not taking sides. Barry is on the toilet tank. He comes out from behind a shampoo bottle, wearing a chapstick cap as a helmet. BARRY Ken, look at me! I’m wearing a chapstick hat. This is pathetic. ANGLE ON: Ken turning the hand shower nozzle from “GENTLE”, to “TURBO”, to “LETHAL”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 82. KEN I’ve got issues! Ken fires the water at Barry, knocking him into the toilet. The items from the vanity (emory board, lipstick, eye curler, etc.) are on the toilet seat. Ken looks down at Barry. KEN (CONT'D) Well well well, a royal flush. BARRY You’re bluffing. KEN Am I? Ken flushes the toilet. Barry grabs the Emory board and uses it to surf. He puts his hand in the water while he’s surfing. Some water splashes on Ken. BARRY Surf’s up, dude! KEN Awww, poo water! He does some skate board-style half-pipe riding. Barry surfs out of the toilet. BARRY That bowl is gnarly. Ken tries to get a shot at him with the toilet brush. KEN Except for those dirty yellow rings. Vanessa ENTERS. VANESSA Kenneth! What are you doing? KEN You know what? I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! VANESSA We need to talk! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 83. She pulls Ken out by his ear. Ken glares at Barry. CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS VANESSA He’s just a little bee. And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time. KEN Long time? What are you talking about? Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! KEN Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...my nerves are fried from riding on this emotional rollercoaster. VANESSA Goodbye, Ken. KEN Augh! VANESSA Whew! Ken EXITS, then re-enters frame. KEN And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners, made by man! He EXITS again. The DOOR SLAMS behind him. VANESSA (to Barry) I’m sorry about all that. Ken RE-ENTERS. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 84. KEN I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! BARRY (re: Ken) I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. (puts his hands in his pockets) I couldn’t overcome it. Oh well. VANESSA Are you going to be okay for the trial tomorrow? BARRY Oh, I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. CUT TO: SEQ. 3300 - “ADAM STINGS MONTY” INT. COURTROOM - NEXT DAY ANGLE ON: Medium shot of Montgomery standing at his table. MONTGOMERY We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM (whispering to Vanessa) Now that’s a good idea. (to Barry) You can really see why he’s considered one of the very best lawyers-- Oh. Barry rolls his eyes. He gets up, takes the stand. A juror in a striped shirt APPLAUDS. MR. GAMMIL (whispering) Layton, you’ve got to weave some magic with this jury, or it’s going to be all over. Montgomery is holding a BOOK, “The Secret Life of Bees”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 85. MONTGOMERY (confidently whispering) Oh, don’t worry Mr. Gammil. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. (to Gammil) You got the tweezers? Mr. Gammil NODS, and pats his breast pocket. MR. GAMMIL Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Montgomery approaches the stand. MONTGOMERY (CONT’D) Mr. Benson Bee. I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? Montgomery points to Vanessa. BARRY We’re friends. MONTGOMERY Good friends? BARRY Yes. MONTGOMERY (softly in Barry’s face) How good? BARRY What? MONTGOMERY Do you live together? BARRY Wait a minute, this isn’t about-- "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 86. MONTGOMERY Are you her little... (clearing throat) ... bed bug? BARRY (flustered) Hey, that’s not the kind of-- MONTGOMERY I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. Now, from what I understand, doesn’t your Queen give birth to all the bee children in the hive? BARRY Yeah, but-- MONTGOMERY So those aren’t even your real parents! ANGLE ON: Barry’s parents. MARTIN BENSON Oh, Barry. BARRY Yes they are! ADAM Hold me back! Vanessa holds him back with a COFFEE STIRRER. Montgomery points to Barry’s parents. MONTGOMERY You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you Benson? ADAM He’s denouncing bees! All the bees in the courtroom start to HUM. They’re agitated. MONTGOMERY And don’t y’all date your cousins? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 87. VANESSA (standing, letting go of Adam) Objection! Adam explodes from the table and flies towards Montgomery. ADAM I’m going to pin cushion this guy! Montgomery turns around and positions himself by the judge’s bench. He sticks his butt out. Montgomery winks at his team. BARRY Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Adam shoves Barry out of the way. Adam STINGS Montgomery in the butt. The jury REACTS, aghast. MONTGOMERY Ow! I’m hit! Oh, lordy, I am hit! The judge BANGS her gavel. JUDGE Order! Order! Please, Mr. Montgomery. MONTGOMERY The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a wing-ed beast of destruction. You see? You can’t treat them like equals. They’re strip-ed savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! ANGLE ON: Adam, collapsed on the floor. Barry rushes to his side. BARRY Adam, stay with me. ADAM I can’t feel my legs. Montgomery falls on the Bailiff. BAILIFF Take it easy. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 88. MONTGOMERY Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? The JURY recoils. JUDGE Please, I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! FADE TO: SEQ. 3400 - “ADAM AT HOSPITAL” INT. HOSPITAL - STREET LEVEL ROOM - DAY PRESS PERSON #1 (V.O) The case of the honey bees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday, when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Now here’s Don with the 5-day. A NURSE lets Barry into the room. Barry CARRIES a FLOWER. BARRY Thank you. Barry stands over Adam, in a bed. Barry lays the flower down next to him. The TV is on. BARRY (CONT'D) Hey buddy. ADAM Hey. BARRY Is there much pain? Adam has a BEE-SIZED PAINKILLER HONEY BUTTON near his head that he presses. ADAM (pressing the button) Yeah...I blew the whole case, didn’t I? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 89. BARRY Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is you’re alive. You could have died. ADAM I’d be better off dead. Look at me. Adam THROWS the blanket off his lap, revealing a GREEN SANDWICH SWORD STINGER. ADAM (CONT’D) (voice cracking) They got it from the cafeteria, they got it from downstairs. In a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. BARRY What was it like to sting someone? ADAM I can’t explain it. It was all adrenaline...and then...ecstasy. Barry looks at Adam. BARRY Alright. ADAM You think that was all a trap? BARRY Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us, we’re just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM What do you think the humans will do to us if they win? BARRY I don’t know. ADAM I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 90. BARRY Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out. Adam GULPS. ADAM Oh my. ANGLE ON: the hospital window. We see THREE PEOPLE smoking outside on the sidewalk. The smoke drifts in. Adam COUGHS. ADAM (CONT’D) Say, could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY Why? ADAM The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. BARRY Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. Adam, that’s it! That’s our case. Adam starts putting his clothes on. ADAM It is? It’s not over? BARRY No. Get up. Get dressed. I’ve got to go somewhere. You get back the court and stall. Stall anyway you can. CUT TO: SEQ. 3500 - “SMOKING GUN” INT. COURTROOM - THE NEXT DAY Adam is folding a piece of paper into a boat. ADAM ...and assuming you’ve done step 29 correctly, you’re ready for the tub. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 91. ANGLE ON: The jury, all with paper boats of their own. JURORS Ooh. ANGLE ON: Montgomery frustrated with Gammil, who’s making a boat also. Monty crumples Gammil’s boat, and throws it at him. JUDGE Mr. Flayman? ADAM Yes? Yes, Your Honor? JUDGE Where is the rest of your team? ADAM (fumbling with his swordstinger) Well, your honor, it’s interesting. You know Bees are trained to fly kind of haphazardly and as a result quite often we don’t make very good time. I actually once heard a pretty funny story about a bee-- MONTGOMERY Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? Montgomery rolls out from behind his table. He’s suspended in a LARGE BABY CHAIR with wheels. MONTGOMERY (CONT'D) How much longer are we going to allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients who have all run perfectly legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case. JUDGE Mr. Flayman, I am afraid I am going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 92. ADAM But you can’t. We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun. Barry bursts through the door. BARRY Hold it, your honor. You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. Vanessa ENTERS, holding a bee smoker Vanessa slams the beekeeper's SMOKER onto the judge’s bench. JUDGE What is that? BARRY It’s a Bee smoker. Montgomery GRABS the smoker. MONTGOMERY What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. He unintentionally points it towards the bee gallery, KNOCKING THEM ALL OUT. The jury GASPS. The press SNAPS pictures of them. BARRY Members of the jury, look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or Non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to these smoke machines in man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? Barry gestures dramatically towards Montgomery's racially mixed table. The BLACK LAWYER slowly moves his chair away. GAMMIL What are we going to do? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 93. MONTGOMERY (to Pross) He's playing the species card. Barry lands on the scale of justice, by the judge’s bench. It balances as he lands. BARRY Ladies and gentlemen, please, FreeThese-Bees! ANGLE ON: Jury, chanting "Free the bees". JUDGE The court finds in favor of the bees. The chaos continues. Barry flies over to Vanessa, with his hand up for a “high 5”. BARRY Vanessa, we won! VANESSA Yay! I knew you could do it. Highfive! She high 5’s Barry, sending him crashing to the table. He bounces right back up. VANESSA (CONT'D) Oh, sorry. BARRY Ow!! I’m okay. Vanessa, do you know what this means? All the honey is finally going to belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. Montgomery approaches Barry, surrounded by the press. The cameras and microphones go to Montgomery. MONTGOMERY (waving a finger) This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson! You’ll regret this. ANGLE ON: Barry’s ‘deer in headlights’ expression, as the press pushes microphones in his face. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 94. PRESS PERSON 1 Barry, how much honey do you think is out there? BARRY Alright, alright, one at a time... SARAH Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY Uhhh, my sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. The Press follows Barry as he EXITS. ANGLE ON: Adam and Vanessa. ADAM (putting papers away) What if Montgomery’s right? VANESSA What do you mean? ADAM We’ve been living the bee way a long time. 27 million years. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 3600 - “HONEY ROUNDUP” EXT. HONEY FARMS APIARY - MONTAGE SARAH (V.O) Congratulations on your victory. What are you going to demand as a settlement? BARRY (V.O) (over montage) First, we’re going to demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then, we want to get back all the honey that was ours to begin with. Every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, big-headed, bad breath, stink-machine. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 95. I believe we’re all aware of what they do in the woods. We will no longer tolerate derogatory beenegative nick-names, unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products, and la-dee-da tea-time human snack garnishments. MONTAGE IMAGES: Close-up on an ATF JACKET, with the YELLOW LETTERS. Camera pulls back. We see an ARMY OF BEE AND HUMAN AGENTS wearing hastily made “Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Honey” jackets. Barry supervises. The gate to Honey Farms is locked permanently. All the smokers are collected and locked up. All the bees leave the Apiary. CUT TO: EXT. ATF OUTSIDE OF SUPERMARKET - MONTAGE Agents begin YANKING honey off the supermarket shelves, and out of shopping baskets. CUT TO: EXT. NEW HIVE CITY - MONTAGE The bees tear down a honey-bear statue. CUT TO: EXT. YELLOWSTONE FOREST - MONTAGE POV of a sniper’s crosshairs. An animated BEAR character looka-like, turns his head towards camera. BARRY Wait for my signal. ANGLE ON: Barry lowering his binoculars. BARRY (CONT'D) Take him out. The sniper SHOOTS the bear. It hits him in the shoulder. The bear looks at it. He gets woozy and the honey jar falls out of his lap, an ATF&H agent catches it. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 96. BARRY (V.O) (CONT'D) ATF&H AGENT (to the bear’s pig friend) He’ll have a little nausea for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. CUT TO: EXT. STING’S HOUSE - MONTAGE ATF&H agents SLAP CUFFS on Sting, who is meditating. STING But it’s just a prance-about stage name! CUT TO: INT. A WOMAN’S SHOWER - MONTAGE A WOMAN is taking a shower, and using honey shampoo. An ATF&H agent pulls the shower curtain aside, and grabs her bottle of shampoo. The woman SCREAMS. The agent turns to the 3 other agents, and Barry. ANGLE ON: Barry looking at the label on the shampoo bottle, shaking his head and writing in his clipboard. CUT TO: EXT. SUPERMARKET CAFE - MONTAGE Another customer, an old lady having her tea with a little jar of honey, gets her face pushed down onto the table and turned to the side by two agents. One of the agents has a gun on her. OLD LADY Can’t breathe. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK - MONTAGE An OIL DRUM of honey is connected to Barry’s hive. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 97. BARRY Bring it in, boys. CUT TO: SEQ. 3650 - “NO MORE WORK” INT. HONEX - MONTAGE ANGLE ON: The honey goes past the 3-cup hash-mark, and begins to overflow. A WORKER BEE runs up to Buzzwell. WORKER BEE 1 Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed 3 cups, and there’s gallons mores coming. I think we need to shutdown. KEYCHAIN BEE (to Buzzwell) Shutdown? We’ve never shutdown. ANGLE ON: Buzzwell overlooking the factory floor. BUZZWELL Shutdown honey production! Stop making honey! ANGLE ON: TWO BEES, each with a KEY. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Turn your key, Sir! They turn the keys simultaneously, War Games-style, shutting down the honey machines. ANGLE ON: the Taffy-Pull machine, Centrifuge, and Krelman all slowly come to a stop. The bees look around, bewildered. WORKER BEE 5 What do we do now? A BEAT. WORKER BEE 6 Cannon ball!! He jumps into a HONEY VAT, doesn’t penetrate the surface. He looks around, and slowly sinks down to his waist. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 98. EXT. HONEX FACTORY THE WHISTLE BLOWS, and the bees all stream out the exit. CUT TO: INT. J-GATE - CONTINUOUS Lou Loduca gives orders to the pollen jocks. LOU LODUCA We’re shutting down honey production. Mission abort. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK Jackson receives the orders, mid-pollination. JACKSON Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. CUT TO: EXT. NEW HIVE CITY ANGLE ON: Bees, putting sun-tan lotion on their noses and antennae, and sunning themselves on the balconies of the gyms. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK ANGLE ON: THE FLOWERS starting to DROOP. CUT TO: INT. J-GATE J-Gate is deserted. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 99. EXT. NEW HIVE CITY ANGLE ON: Bees sunning themselves. A TIMER DINGS, and they all turn over. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK TIME LAPSE of Central Park turning brown. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLORIST SHOP CLOSE-UP SHOT: Vanessa writes “Sorry. No more flowers.” on a “Closed” sign, an turns it facing out. CUT TO: SEQ. 3700 - “IDLE HIVE” EXT. NEW HIVE CITY - DAY Barry flies at high speed. TRACKING SHOT into the hive, through the lobby of Honex, and into Adam’s office. CUT TO: INT. ADAM’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS Barry meets Adam in his office. Adam’s office is in disarray. There are papers everywhere. He’s filling up his cardboard hexagon box. BARRY (out of breath) Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. ADAM Oh yeah? BARRY What’s going on around here? Where is everybody? Are they out celebrating? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 100. ADAM (exiting with a cardboard box of belongings) No, they’re just home. They don’t know what to do. BARRY Hmmm. ADAM They’re laying out, they’re sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY At least we got our honey back. They walk through the empty factory. ADAM Yeah, but sometimes I think, so what if the humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world. I was excited to be a part of making it. ANGLE ON: Adam’s desk on it’s side in the hall. ADAM (CONT’D) This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...and now I can’t. Adam EXITS. CUT TO: SEQ. 3900 - “WORLD WITHOUT BEES” INT. STAIRWELL Vanessa and Barry are walking up the stairs to the roof. BARRY I don’t understand why they’re not happy. We have so much now. I thought their lives would be better. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 101. VANESSA Hmmm. BARRY They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing, honey really changes people. VANESSA You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? BARRY What did you want to show me? VANESSA This. They reach the top of the stairs. Vanessa opens the door. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S ROOFTOP - CONTINUOUS Barry sees Vanessa’s flower pots and small garden have all turned brown. BARRY What happened here? VANESSA That is not the half of it... Vanessa turns Barry around with her two fingers, revealing the view of Central Park, which is also all brown. BARRY Oh no. Oh my. They’re all wilting. VANESSA Doesn’t look very good, does it? BARRY No. VANESSA And who’s fault do you think that is? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 102. BARRY Mmmm...you know, I’m going to guess, bees. VANESSA Bees? BARRY Specifically me. I guess I didn’t think that bees not needing to make honey would affect all these other things. VANESSA And it’s not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables...they all need bees. BARRY Well, that’s our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA So, you take away the produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... BARRY The human species? VANESSA (clearing throat) Ahem! BARRY Oh. So, if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? VANESSA And I know this is also partly my fault. Barry takes a long SIGH. BARRY How about a suicide pact? VANESSA (not sure if he’s joking) How would we do it? BARRY I’ll sting you, you step on me. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 103. VANESSA That just kills you twice. BARRY Right, right. VANESSA Listen Barry. Sorry but I’ve got to get going. She EXITS. BARRY (looking out over the park) Had to open my mouth and talk... (looking back) Vanessa..? Vanessa is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 3935 - “GOING TO PASADENA” EXT. NY STREET - CONTINUOUS Vanessa gets into a cab. Barry ENTERS. BARRY Vanessa. Why are you leaving? Where are you going? VANESSA To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They moved it up to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. BARRY Vanessa, I just want to say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA I know. Me neither. Vanessa cab drives away. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 104. BARRY (chuckling to himself) Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute...roses. Roses? Roses!? Vanessa! Barry follows shortly after. He catches up to it, and he pounds on the window. Barry follows shortly after Vanessa’s cab. He catches up to it, and he pounds on the window. INT. TAXI - CONTINUOUS Barry motions for her to roll the window down. She does so. BARRY Roses?! VANESSA Barry? BARRY (as he flies next to the cab) Roses are flowers. VANESSA Yes, they are. BARRY Flowers, bees, pollen! VANESSA I know. That’s why this is the last parade. BARRY Maybe not. The cab starts pulling ahead of Barry. BARRY (CONT'D) (re: driver) Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA Could you slow down? The cabs slows. Barry flies in the window, and lands in the change box, which closes on him. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 105. VANESSA (CONT'D) Barry! Vanessa lets him out. Barry stands on the change box, in front of the driver’s license. BARRY Okay, I made a huge mistake! This is a total disaster, and it’s all my fault! VANESSA Yes, it kind of is. BARRY I’ve ruined the planet. And, I wanted to help with your flower shop. Instead, I’ve made it worse. VANESSA Actually, it’s completely closed down. BARRY Oh, I thought maybe you were remodeling. Nonetheless, I have another idea. And it’s greater than all my previous great ideas combined. VANESSA I don’t want to hear it. Vanessa closes the change box on Barry. BARRY (opening it again) Alright, here’s what I’m thinking. They have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant, and flower bud in this park. All we’ve got to do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. VANESSA Bees... BARRY Park... VANESSA Pollen... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 106. BARRY Flowers... VANESSA Repollination! BARRY (on luggage handle, going up) Across the nation! CUT TO: SEQ. 3950 - “ROSE PARADE” EXT. PASADENA PARADE BARRY (V.O) Alright. Tournament of Roses. Pasadena, California. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats, and cotton candy. Security will be tight. VANESSA I have an idea. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA ANGLE ON: Barry and Vanessa approaching a HEAVILY ARMED GUARD in front of the staging area. VANESSA Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. He leans in to look at her badge. She SNAPS IT SHUT, VANESSA (CONT’D) Oh, it’s real. HEAVILY ARMED GUARD Sorry ma’am. That’s a nice brooch, by the way. VANESSA Thank you. It was a gift. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 107. They ENTER the staging area. BARRY (V.O) Then, once we’re inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA How about the Princess and the Pea? BARRY Yeah. VANESSA I can be the princess, and-- BARRY ...yes, I think-- VANESSA You could be-- BARRY I’ve-- VANESSA The pea. BARRY Got it. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA - A FEW MOMENTS LATER Barry, dressed as a PEA, flies up and hovers in front of the princess on the “Princess and the Pea” float. The float is sponsored by Inflat-a-bed and a SIGN READS: “Inflat-a-bed: If it blows, it’s ours.” BARRY Sorry I’m late. Where should I sit? PRINCESS What are you? BARRY I believe I’m the pea. PRINCESS The pea? It’s supposed to be under the mattresses. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 108. BARRY Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. PRINCESS I’m going to go talk to the marshall. BARRY You do that. This whole parade is a fiasco! She EXITS. Vanessa removes the step-ladder. The princess FALLS. Barry and Vanessa take off in the float. BARRY (CONT’D) Let’s see what this baby will do. ANGLE ON: Guy with headset talking to drivers. HEADSET GUY Hey! The float ZOOMS by. A young CHILD in the stands, TIMMY, cries. CUT TO: EXT. FLOAT STAGING AREA - A FEW MOMENTS LATER ANGLE ON: Vanessa putting the princess hat on. BARRY (V.O) Then all we do is blend in with traffic, without arousing suspicion. CUT TO: EXT. THE PARADE ROUTE - CONTINUOUS The floats go flying by the crowds. Barry and Vanessa’s float CRASHES through the fence. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 109. EXT. LA FREEWAY Vanessa and Barry speed, dodging and weaving, down the freeway. BARRY (V.O) And once we’re at the airport, there’s no stopping us. CUT TO: EXT. LAX AIRPORT Barry and Vanessa pull up to the curb, in front of an TSA AGENT WITH CLIPBOARD. TSA AGENT Stop. Security. Did you and your insect pack your own float? VANESSA (O.C) Yes. TSA AGENT Has this float been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA (O.C) Since the parade...yes. ANGLE ON: Barry holding his shoes. TSA AGENT Would you remove your shoes and everything in your pockets? Can you remove your stinger, Sir? BARRY That’s part of me. TSA AGENT I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY Barry and Vanessa’s airplane TAKES OFF. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 110. BARRY (O.C) Then, if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 4025 - “COCKPIT FIGHT” INT. AIRPLANE Vanessa is on the aisle. Barry is on a laptop calculating flowers, pollen, number of bees, airspeed, etc. He does a “Stomp” dance on the keyboard. BARRY Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job. I think this is going to work, Vanessa. VANESSA It’s got to work. PILOT (V.O) Attention passengers. This is Captain Scott. I’m afraid we have a bit of bad weather in the New York area. And looks like we’re going to be experiencing a couple of hours delay. VANESSA Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. BARRY I’ve got to get up there and talk to these guys. VANESSA Be careful. Barry flies up to the cockpit door. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT - CONTINUOUS A female flight attendant, ANGELA, is in the cockpit with the pilots. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 111. There’s a KNOCK at the door. BARRY (C.O) Hey, can I get some help with this Sky Mall Magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable travel pool filter. ANGELA (to the pilots, irritated) Excuse me. CUT TO: EXT. CABIN - CONTINUOUS Angela opens the cockpit door and looks around. She doesn’t see anybody. ANGLE ON: Barry hidden on the yellow and black “caution” stripe. As Angela looks around, Barry zips into the cockpit. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT BARRY Excuse me, Captain. I am in a real situation here... PILOT (pulling an earphone back, to the co-pilot) What did you say, Hal? CO-PILOT I didn’t say anything. PILOT (he sees Barry) Ahhh! Bee! BARRY No, no! Don’t freak out! There’s a chance my entire species-- CO-PILOT (taking off his earphones) Ahhh! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 112. The pilot grabs a “DUSTBUSTER” vacuum cleaner. He aims it around trying to vacuum up Barry. The co-pilot faces camera, as the pilot tries to suck Barry up. Barry is on the other side of the co-pilot. As they dosey-do, the toupee of the co-pilot begins to come up, still attached to the front. CO-PILOT (CONT'D) What are you doing? Stop! The toupee comes off the co-pilot’s head, and sticks in the Dustbuster. Barry runs across the bald head. BARRY Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! CO-PILOT Who’s an attorney? PILOT Don’t move. The pilot uses the Dustbuster to try and mash Barry, who is hovering in front of the co-pilot’s nose, and knocks out the co-pilot who falls out of his chair, hitting the life raft release button. The life raft inflates, hitting the pilot, knocking him into a wall and out cold. Barry surveys the situation. BARRY Oh, Barry. CUT TO: INT. AIRPLANE CABIN Vanessa studies her laptop, looking serious. SFX: PA CRACKLE. BARRY (V.O) (in captain voice) Good afternoon passengers, this is your captain speaking. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24F please report to the cockpit. And please hurry! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 113. ANGLE ON: The aisle, and Vanessa head popping up. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Vanessa ENTERS. VANESSA What happened here? BARRY I tried to talk to them, but then there was a Dustbuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded...Now one’s bald, one’s in a boat, and they’re both unconscious. VANESSA Is that another bee joke? BARRY No. No one’s flying the plane. The AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER, BUD, speaks over the radio. BUD This is JFK control tower. Flight 356, what’s your status? Vanessa presses a button, and the intercom comes on. VANESSA This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. BUD Where’s the pilot? VANESSA He’s unconscious and so is the copilot. BUD Not good. Is there anyone onboard who has flight experience? A BEAT. BARRY As a matter of fact, there is. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 114. BUD Who’s that? VANESSA Barry Benson. BUD From the honey trial? Oh great. BARRY Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. VANESSA I can’t fly a plane. BARRY Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA Yes? BARRY How hard could it be? VANESSA Wait a minute. Barry, we’re headed into some lightning. CUT TO: Vanessa shrugs, and takes the controls. SEQ. 4150 - “BARRY FLIES PLANE” INT. BENSON HOUSE The family is all huddled around the TV at the Benson house. ANGLE ON: TV. Bob Bumble is broadcasting. BOB BUMBLE This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK airport, where a very suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh off his stunning legal victory... "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 115. Adam SPRAYS a can of HONEY-WHIP into his mouth. ADAM That’s Barry. BOB BUMBLE ...is now attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers, and an incapacitated flight crew. EVERYONE Flowers?! CUT TO: INT. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL TOWER BUD Well, we have an electrical storm in the area, and two individuals at the controls of a jumbo jet with absolutely no flight experience. JEANETTE CHUNG Just a minute, Mr. Ditchwater, there’s a honey bee on that plane. BUD Oh, I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson’s work, and his no-account compadres. Haven’t they done enough damage already? JEANETTE CHUNG But isn’t he your only hope right now? BUD Come on, technically a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT. Barry REACTS BUD The wings are too small, their bodies are too big-- "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 116. BARRY (over PA) Hey, hold on a second. Haven’t we heard this million times? The surface area of the wings, and the body mass doesn’t make sense? JEANETTE CHUNG Get this on the air. CAMERAMAN You got it! CUT TO: INT. BEE TV CONTROL ROOM An engineer throws a switch. BEE ENGINEER Stand by. We’re going live. The “ON AIR” sign illuminates. CUT TO: INT. VARIOUS SHOTS OF NEW HIVE CITY The news report plays on TV. The pollen jocks are sitting around, playing paddle-ball, Wheel-o, and one of them is spinning his helmet on his finger. Buzzwell is in an office cubicle, playing computer solitaire. Barry’s family and Adam watch from their living room. Bees sitting on the street curb turn around to watch the TV. BARRY Mr. Ditchwater, the way we work may be a mystery to you, because making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you something about a small job. If you do it really well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to doing what we do best. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 117. Working together. That’s the bee way. We’re not made of Jello. We get behind a fellow. Black and yellow. CROWD OF BEES Hello! CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Barry is giving orders to Vanessa. BARRY Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA Hover? BARRY Forget hover. VANESSA You know what? This isn’t so hard. Vanessa pretends to HONK THE HORN. VANESSA (CONT’D) Beep, beep! Beep, beep! A BOLT OF LIGHTNING HITS the plane. The plane takes a sharp dip. VANESSA (CONT’D) Barry, what happened? BARRY (noticing the control panel) Wait a minute. I think we were on autopilot that whole time. VANESSA That may have been helping me. BARRY And now we’re not! VANESSA (V.O.) (folding her arms) Well, then it turns out I cannot fly a plane. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 118. BARRY (CONT'D) Vanessa struggles with the yoke. CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE The airplane goes into a steep dive. CUT TO: SEQ. 4175 - “CRASH LANDING” INT. J-GATE An ALERT SIGN READING: “Hive Alert. We Need:” Then the SIGNAL goes from “Two Bees” “Some Bees” “Every Bee There Is” Lou Loduca gathers the pollen jocks at J-Gate. LOU LODUCA All of you, let’s get behind this fellow. Move it out! The bees follow Lou Loduca, and EXIT J-Gate. CUT TO: INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT BARRY Our only chance is if I do what I would do, and you copy me with the wings of the plane! VANESSA You don’t have to yell. BARRY I’m not yelling. We happen to be in a lot of trouble here. VANESSA It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice. BARRY It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 119. EXT. JFK AIRPORT ANGLE ON: The bees arriving and massing at the airport. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Barry and Vanessa alternately SLAP EACH OTHER IN THE FACE. VANESSA I don’t think I can do this. BARRY Vanessa, pull yourself together. Listen to me, you have got to snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE A GIGANTIC SWARM OF BEES flies in to hold the plane up. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT - CONTINUOUS BARRY You snap out of it! VANESSA You snap out of it! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 120. BARRY You snap-- VANESSA Hold it! BARRY (about to slap her again) Why? Come on, it’s my turn. VANESSA How is the plane flying? Barry’s antennae ring. BARRY I don’t know. (answering) Hello? CUT TO: EXT. AIRPLANE ANGLE ON: The underside of the plane. The pollen jocks have massed all around the underbelly of the plane, and are holding it up. LOU LODUCA Hey Benson, have you got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT Lou, Buzz, Splitz, and Jackson come up alongside the cockpit. BARRY The pollen jocks! VANESSA They do get behind a fellow. BARRY Black and yellow. LOU LODUCA (over headset) Hello. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 121. Alright you two, what do you say we drop this tin can on the blacktop? VANESSA What blacktop? Where? I can’t see anything. Can you? BARRY No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY Adam SHOUTS. ADAM Come on, you’ve got to think bee, Barry. Thinking bee, thinking bee. ANGLE ON: Overhead shot of runway. The bees are in the formation of a flower. In unison they move, causing the flower to FLASH YELLOW AND BLACK. BEES (chanting) Thinking bee, thinking bee. CUT TO: INT. COCKPIT We see through the swirling mist and clouds. A GIANT SHAPE OF A FLOWER is forming in the middle of the runway. BARRY Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. VANESSA What? BARRY I don’t know, but it’s strong. And it’s pulling me, like a 27 million year old instinct. Bring the nose of the plane down. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 122. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) EXT. RUNWAY All the bees are on the runway chanting “Thinking Bee”. CUT TO: INT. CONTROL TOWER RICK What in the world is on the tarmac? ANGLE ON: Dave OTS onto runway seeing a flower being formed by millions of bees. BUD Get some lights on that! CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY ANGLE ON: AIRCRAFT LANDING LIGHT SCAFFOLD by the side of the runway, illuminating the bees in their flower formation. INT. COCKPIT BARRY Vanessa, aim for the flower! VANESSA Oh, okay? BARRY Cut the engines! VANESSA Cut the engines? BARRY We’re going in on bee power. Ready boys? LOU LODUCA Affirmative. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 123. INT. AIRPLANE COCKPIT BARRY Good, good, easy now. Land on that flower! Ready boys? Give me full reverse. LOU LODUCA Spin it around! The plane attempts to land on top of an “Aloha Airlines” plane with flowers painted on it. BARRY (V.O) I mean the giant black and yellow pulsating flower made of millions of bees! VANESSA Which flower? BARRY That flower! VANESSA I’m aiming at the flower! The plane goes after a FAT GUY IN A HAWAIIAN SHIRT. BARRY (V.O) That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt! The other other flower! The big one. He snaps a photo and runs away. BARRY (CONT'D) Full forward. Ready boys? Nose down. Bring your tail up. Rotate around it. VANESSA Oh, this is insane, Barry. BARRY This is the only way I know how to fly. CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 124. AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL TOWER BUD Am I koo-koo kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? CUT TO: EXT. RUNWAY BARRY (V.O) Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid of it. Smell it. Full reverse! Easy, just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in. Drop it in, woman! The plane HOVERS and MANEUVERS, landing in the center of the giant flower, like a bee. The FLOWERS from the cargo hold spill out onto the runway. INT. AIPLANE CABIN The passengers are motionless for a beat. PASSENGER Come on already! They hear the “ding ding”, and all jump up to grab their luggage out of the overheads. SEQ. 4225 - “RUNWAY SPEECH” EXT. RUNWAY - CONTINUOUS The INFLATABLE SLIDES pop out the side of the plane. The passengers escape. Barry and Vanessa slide down out of the cockpit. Barry and Vanessa exhale a huge breath. VANESSA Barry, we did it. You taught me how to fly. Vanessa raises her hand up for a high five. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 125. BARRY Yes. No high five. VANESSA Right. ADAM Barry, it worked. Did you see the giant flower? BARRY What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius, man. Genius! ADAM Thank you. BARRY But we’re not done yet. Barry flies up to the wing of the plane, and addresses the bee crowd. BARRY (CONT’D) Listen everyone. This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers, and dress like this. If we’re going to survive as a species, this is our moment. So what do you all say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History key chains? BEES We’re bees! KEYCHAIN BEE Keychain! BARRY Then follow me... Except Keychain. BUZZ Hold on Barry. You’ve earned this. Buzz puts a pollen jock jacket and helmet with Barry’s name on it on Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 126. BARRY I’m a pollen jock! (looking at the jacket. The sleeves are a little long) And it’s a perfect fit. All I’ve got to do are the sleeves. The Pollen Jocks toss Barry a gun. BARRY (CONT’D) Oh yeah! ANGLE ON: Martin and Janet Benson. JANET BENSON That’s our Barry. All the bees descend upon the flowers on the tarmac, and start collecting pollen. CUT TO: SEQ. 4250 - “RE-POLLINATION” EXT. SKIES - CONTINUOUS The squadron FLIES over the city, REPOLLINATING trees and flowers as they go. Barry breaks off from the group, towards Vanessa’s flower shop. CUT TO: EXT. VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS Barry REPOLLINATES Vanessa’s flowers. CUT TO: EXT. CENTRAL PARK - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Timmy with a frisbee, as the bees fly by. TIMMY Mom, the bees are back! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 127. Central Park is completely repollinated by the bees. DISSOLVE TO: INT. HONEX - CONTINUOUS Honex is back to normal and everyone is busily working. ANGLE ON: Adam, putting his Krelman hat on. ADAM If anyone needs to make a call, now’s the time. I’ve got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! The bees CHEER. CUT TO: SEQ. 4355 EXT: VANESSA’S FLOWER SHOP With a new sign out front. “Vanessa & Barry: Flowers, Honey, Legal Advice” DISSOLVE TO: INT: FLOWER COUNTER Vanessa doing a brisk trade with many customers. CUT TO: INT: FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS Vanessa is selling flowers. In the background, there are SHELVES STOCKED WITH HONEY. VANESSA (O.C.) Don’t forget these. Have a great afternoon. Yes, can I help who’s next? Who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is beeapproved. SIGN ON THE BACK ROOM DOOR READS: “Barry Benson: Insects at Law”. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 128. Camera moves into the back room. ANGLE ON: Barry. ANGLE ON: Barry’s COW CLIENT. COW Milk, cream, cheese...it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel. BARRY Uh huh? Uh huh? COW (breaking down) Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat. BARRY I had no idea. VANESSA Barry? I’m sorry, have you got a moment? BARRY Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate here will be able to help you. Mooseblood ENTERS. MOOSEBLOOD Sorry I’m late. COW He’s a lawyer too? MOOSEBLOOD Ma’am, I was already a bloodsucking parasite. All I needed was * a briefcase. * ANGLE ON: Flower Counter. VANESSA (to customer) Have a great afternoon! (to Barry) Barry, I just got this huge tulip order for a wedding, and I can’t get them anywhere. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 129. BARRY Not a problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. Vanessa turns back to deal with a customer. VANESSA You’re a life-saver, Barry. (to the next customer) Can I help who’s next? Who’s next? ANGLE ON: Vanessa smiling back at Barry. Barry smiles too, then snaps himself out of it. BARRY (speaks into his antennae) Alright. Scramble jocks, it’s time to fly! VANESSA Thank you, Barry! EXT. FLOWER SHOP - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: Ken and Andy walking down the street. KEN (noticing the new sign) Augh! What in the world? It’s that bee again! ANDY (guiding Ken protectively) Let it go, Kenny. KEN That bee is living my life! When will this nightmare end? ANDY Let it all go. They don’t break stride. ANGLE ON: Camera in front of Barry as he flies out the door and up into the sky. Pollen jocks fold in formation behind him as they zoom into the park. BARRY (to Splitz) Beautiful day to fly. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 130. JACKSON Sure is. BARRY Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. FADE OUT: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 131.

(fr tho this forum post is great i didnt realize it can handle so many words...)

 

Spoiler: The Boy Who Cried Wolf ~After Story~

The boy who cried wolf, a shepherd boy named Hart is now in devastation cause of the lie he made due to boredom. Hart was furious at the villagers for not coming to his help when he needed it the most. "This is unjust!” he shouted.

His family lost their livelihood and decided to punish Hart by making him to spend a few nights at the farm for self-reflection. However, instead of reflecting on his own mistakes, Hart vowed to take revenge instead. He seeks to take revenge on the villagers who did not help him, he feel they should feel his pain as well.

Spending time at the farm without any sheep around did not clear his mind, all he felt was humiliation. It was clear to everyone else how this happened - but not him, all of these are just unjust in his eyes. "The village must be punished...” he declared.

After few days of being at the farm, Hart decided to proceed with his revenge. This is the point where he should had stopped, but he didn't.

First, Hart set fire on the farm where he spend the nights at, to trick his family to thinking he's dead to buy more time for his revenge plan.

Next, he proceeded to the Kingdom to seek "help". Hart endured the days of travelling to the Kingdom alone with only some food, and no money. Hart was also attacked by wolves during the journey but that did not faze him.

Upon reaching the Kingdom, Hart is now hungry, dirty but still determined and thirsty for revenge. He seek audience with the King and proceeded with a bigger lie - "The village has been taken over by werewolves, even my family has been eaten!"

The King thought this was some delusional talks by a kid, but Hart pushed on by revealing a bite that he received while travelling to the Kingdom - "Look, I only barely managed to escape, you have to stop them before they infiltrate the Kingdom!!” The King responded with, "Of course I won't want that to happen, but a village of werewolves...?” Hart did not stop here and pushed on "If you don't believe me, check out the village, there're no more sheep at the village because the werewolves ate all of them. My farm was even burnt down during my escape!"

The King sent a scout to check out the situation and the village really did not have any sheep and Hart's farm was burnt down. The King decided to take the boy's word seriously and proceeded to move out troops in the "hunt" of werewolves. "It's not possible for a boy to travel all the way to my Kingdom just to tell me a lie at the risk of his own safety. I got to do something before it's too late". The King thought to himself.

The troops moved in to the village and killed off all the villagers without any warnings. Death was in the air, with the villager corpses all over the place.

The King was taken back by the report of there're no "werewolves" slain, just villagers all killed under his order. "What's the meaning of this?! Hart, answer me!" The King shouted, with a hint of anxiousness. "I did not ask you to kill all of them.... I just wanted you to interrogate or torture them the most.... This isn't my fault... I, I was not wrong!" Hart said while trembling, after realizing the gravity of the situation.

Hart was sentenced to imprisonment for life, having nightmares of wolves and his village every night.

All of these, just for the revenge of his prank that went wrong. Is it really worth it?

 

Need more activity here~

 

Hello fellow Evan!
I too, am also an Evan