Hello my fellow Royallers! I'm giving away FREE love advice regarding all kinds of romantic situations or contexts. No matter how problematic it may seem, I'm sure we can both push through it together. Having trouble with your in-game wife? Having trouble with your real wife? Can't get the attention of a Night Lord cutie pie? Want to talk to a real girl/boy but don't know what to say? Then today is your day. I'm willing to help you out until your problem is resolved. I'm also willing to only listen if you only need to vent a little. Leave your IGN here or pm me ingame and I'll be quick to respond back. A brother/sister's heart is more important than my selfish time. And remember folks, NO ONE, is too good for YOU.
We don't talk about this. These were dark times in which I was a young foolish boy who wasn't trained in the arts of love.
Today is TimK’s birthday. Open to any and all suggestions for what I should do in the next 12 hours and 28 minutes.
Seems to me you have a crush on our Lord and savior Tim. First things first, do not rush things. Rushing thing will only complicate stuff and make you look undesirable in his eyes. Next, you're going to want to infiltrate his home with the following items: Numbered roses (same number of roses as Tim's age). Scented candles. Personally I prefer vanilla candles but cheddar-popcorn candles are great too. Celery. Lots of fresh celery. A loud music player. Preferably something old school but any generic type of boomboxes work. First, you're going to infiltrate Tim's home while he's at work in order to set everything up. Camping out his home and figuring out his "out times" is a good start. Once you're inside you're gonna have to turn on the air conditioner to max setting, you don't wanna smell all sweaty when Tim comes home! Next, you're going to very meticulously form the pattern of a Chaos Scroll with the roses in Tim's bed. The pattern is very VERY important as we all know Tim is very fond of this scroll. Once this is done, you're going to fill up the bathtub with milk-chocolate moussé and a little bit of warm water. Mix it up and very carefully light up the candles which will surround the tub. With the remaining roses, make a path from the entrance all the way to the bathtub, where you will be sitting nakedly. It's very important that while doing all of this you are blasting cheap 60s smooth jazz over the speakers. Once Tim finds you naked in his bathtub with all these arrangements, I'm extremely sure he will at least develop some feelings for you. Ah of course I forgot the celery. Celery is known to impulse the sexual drive of men through an hormone called anfromone. Make sure to cooks full platter of a dish made with celery or just eat it freshly.
We have been together for two and a half years already, I would hope he does have feelings for me! He is 6’10 (208 cm). It is a highly likely event he will not be able to fit in the bathtub!! Unfortunately, his apartment does not have a pool or jacuzzi I can take the liberty of filling with chocolate. Such sagely advice on how many roses I shall buy. I made a mistake our first Valentine’s Day and sent a courier to deliver just one rose and they foolishly did not heed my delivery instructions and ended up ruining the surprise by waking him up early in the morning. If only I could have sought your advice before, I would not have blundered so! I question if I should make a rose pattern of Chaos Scrolls considering how he made useless a Ring of Alchemist just yesterday. Perhaps patterning out “87” would make his heart flutter for me as it is his favorite meme. I will buy an excess of celery, especially since he’s getting old these days. In just two years he’s going to go bald after all. He gets home from the gym in just 50 minutes! I must make haste and burglarize his apartment! Thank you great hugging for your wisdom. Edit: He literally just got home. The plan has failed.
Daily Advice No one is "out of your league". Your qualities and character as a person are more valuable than just looks. Introduce yourself to gorgeous people, they will see you are gorgeous inside too.
I am a level 9x Hermit looking for love. I didn't level with INT so I have no extra MP to HP wash. I throw steely stars and I use a Maple Skanda. A total fucking loser, yes. Do you think you can help me find a Maple girlfriend when I get unbanned?
Ah this one is a frequently asked question in my clinic. My best suggestion is to wrestle a black bear naked while eating dried meat
Daily love advice: If she doesn't even bother replying to your texts, then she's not worth your time. You're more valuable than you think you are.
Shouldn't it be if the reverse? It means that YOU are not worth her time. So actually you are not as valuable as you think.
There is no romantic problem I cannot resolve. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Romance from Cambridge University and a Masters in Love Interest from Brazil University.
