I don't want to tell you how I feel until I'm in a better place in my life and how I've missed you. Maybe once I get a job I'm happy with, everything else will start to fall into place. My mind has been stuck in the past more than ever, trying to right my past wrongs in my relationships with people.
I have you added on so many different platforms but, I’m really going to miss you. You were the kindest and most honest staff member Royals will most likely ever have. You’re an inspirational person and you’ve been nothing but kind to everyone you’ve met. I’m lucky enough to have gotten to know you well because I got to see what type of person you really were. You have a heart of pure gold and you are the definition of a good person. I know we’re friends on like every game and discord and steam and even clash of clans but, for me, staff won’t be the same without you. I’m going to miss you a lot, you were such a great friend and I wish you were still here with us. You have a gift where you’re able to just be friends with anyone you meet and I guess I’m just bitter that more people didn’t come to realize it on Royals. You were and are a great friend, I’m lucky and humbled that I got the pleasure of meeting someone like you. Sorry for rambling, I just had a lot I wanted to say and I’m bad with words (as you know haha). I know you most likely won’t see this but in the off chance that you do, thanks for everything that you’ve done for Royals, it really is a shame we lost you.
MY BIG BIG RANT ON THE POLITICAL WEST CHRISTIANITY-RIGHT/WRONG But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die (Genesis 2:16–17). YOGA-SHIVA/SHAKTI SHIVA symbolises consciousness, the masculine principle. SHAKTI symbolises the feminine principle, the activating power and energy. Shiva and Shakti are manifestations of the all-in-one divine consciousness - different sides of the same coin. taoism-yin/yang When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created. When people see things as good, evil is created. Being and non-being produce each other. Difficult and easy complement each other. Long and short define each other. High and low oppose each other. Fore and aft follow each other. Despite so many fundamentals of religion and philosophies sharing the same conventional wisdom the political west push to be more feminine and forget about the masculine the political west push to be more emotional more sensitive but forget about logic and reasoning the political west push to be more accepting and yet failed to address the issue of difference the political west is being trapped in a dichotomous view of the world painting it black vs white or left vs right utterly failing to understand that they all belong to the same picture when i was 13 years old my family was in disarray i spent most of my time think what is the right thing to do trying to make sense of my life only after years of bitter experience to find out that the important question is not whats right or wrong but why and how.
I can't satisfy everyone. I tried to make everyone happy but I'm not God. Why not just put down the past and move on? Isn't it will be better? Spoiler: .
You like to create rumors to hurt people. Your bitchy attitude that ruined my life and mood back then. I got my depression back and how heavy were my shoulders because of what you did. You didn’t think how hurtful and traumatic is it! Today, you’ve lost many friends and families. Dramas from you are spreading around the island and then to our ears, which we don’t really care. Now you want to ask for forgiveness and try to gain our sympathy for your conditions. Too bad, I will never want to have any relations with you again. I will never forget the scar that you gave me and will never want to hear any of your explanations even you said sorry for many times. You will never gain my respect forever. Now I am happy with my life. The best thing that you can do is never appear in my life. Spoiler: Side Note Love how karma strikes on bad people.
“What if a regressive trait lurked in “the good man,” likewise a danger, an enticement, a poison, a narcotic, so that the present lived at the expense of the future? Perhaps in more comfort and less danger, but also in a smaller-minded, meaner manner? … So that morality itself were to blame if man never attained the highest power and splendor possible for the type man? So that morality itself was the danger of dangers?” (On the Genealogy of Morality) - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
I used to let my emotions get the best of me. I hated it. It has been a gradual process, but I was getting a grasp of internalizing reason and logic. Knowing isn't enough. I wasn't about to let Pride come between us. No. The first fight we had. I was lost. The second fight. Shattered. I've lost count now. It's happening every other week. What is going on? It was when I learnt you were keeping scores. Everything that I've done (or not done) was not only silently tolerated, but also accumulating to stack up against me. Used as a weapon to hurt you. Is this the day I learn what they mean by 'the quiet ones are always the scariest'? As much as I regret the way things are looking to unfold, I also recognise that it is for the best, cliche as it might sound. I'm never going to win your inner demons, nor do I have the desire to enable your dark thoughts, if that is what it means to be your friend. No amount of reassuring words will fill that void, I wish you would see that. You are a wonderful, kind, and gentle soul. And I am truly sorry that I am not enough.