A Sense of Guilt

I've reflected a lot and tried to avoid coming back because I felt a sense of guilt and loss after my friends (was close to Eden and Don, acquaintances with the rest) were banned for cyber bullying, information harvesting, doxing, and stalking. I was friends with people who caused trouble, and I didn't know how far they went with what seemed to start as jokes (you know, when you joke about being annoyed at someone and need to rant a little bit about it) but unknowingly it actually developed into cyber bullying. Some people went further than others, and some didn't even think it would go that far.

Even though I was not involved in their behavior, I'm very, very sorry for all the people affected by them.
I was in their Discord group, but I barely checked it due to my business with work and school. I'd only check the casual chat channel that would refer to gameplay, general chat, or HT parties that were running. I didn't dare look in the NSFW channel that was posted for their entertainment, which was where all the cyberbullying, info harvesting, doxing, and stalking lived in.

I wish I made it in time to tell them to stop with it, but when I found out what was going on, it was already too late. Yes, it was meant to be a private channel and not for anyone in the public to see, yes it did go too far... I am guilty of not knowing and not being able to stop them. They were my good friends, and they chose to peace out in a toxic way. I DO NOT condone their behavior at all, but I will not forget the memories I established with them. There was a different side to them that they showed to me, but that is not the point of my message here, since what they did to others is still absolutely, unacceptable.

This entire time that I have avoided this server, I've been feeling a sense of guilt for not knowing what went on behind the scenes. I can only apologize on their behalf and on mine, and I do not expect anyone to accept my apologies or do anything about it since what has been done is done. Their behavior was unacceptable and I was not there to stop it and I am extremely sorry about that. I'm hoping I can come back to this server to make up for that.

 

"There was a different side to them that they showed to me"

100% the truth. Eden and Don are some of the few people that I enjoy talking to outside of MapleRoyals.

 

Not to be overtly crude- what they did is at best and with the most lax definitions- cyberbullying. When in reality it's information harvesting, doxing, stalking, and then cyberbullying. People quit MapleRoyals over this. People got harassed on social media over this. People had to give up and stop using certain sites over this ( <--- being intentionally vague). It's all fun and games till someone develops a conscience and leaks the fact that their buddies are stalking people on Facebook (and elsewhere) stealing their photos and photoshopping dicks onto them. The fact that some people still hold those individuals to such high regard is... well not surprising but really speaks volumes lol.

Welcome back tho.

 

Totally understandable. Of course, I'd be the same exact way if I didn't know them on a personal level. This is not to glorify them in anyway because I have accepted that they've gone way too far from information harvesting, doxing, stalking, cyberbullying, I guess the difference is that some of them (specifically Eden and Don) helped me through some tough, abusive, times, it's not something I can easily forget, so it was very difficult for me to come to terms with that for the longest time. I understand how the community feels about them and I feel conflicted because of my experiences with them. If I didn't know them, I'd really feel just like the rest of the people in the community about it, trust me. I don't really talk to anyone in that group but Don now, and I've cut out the people who went so far as to actually threaten people in the community. My perception of them has definitely changed.

If you want to know why I'm friends with Don still, that is another discussion in itself, you might debate that he doesn't want to change, I'd probably tell you he does and that it doesn't seem that way cause he still acts like the troll he's been for so long. You don't have to agree with me on anything here, his future actions will speak for himself, and if I'm wrong, you can tell me, "I told you so." If it ever happens, which I don't believe it will, I'll do my darn best to make up for the pain he could potentially cause.

I will fix the post to be more accurate in what they did, thank you for your feedback on that!

Indeed, they have shown me that they treat others differently, which was why it was so hard for me to move past this. I didn't want the community to get hurt and I most certainly did not want to see this side of them.

Becca, you're the sweetest and most caring person I've met here, you reached out to me, someone you barely knew, to make sure I was okay after you read some of my posts on the forums. For that, I am so thankful that you are a member of this community and that you are such a supportive person. We need more people like you here.

 

I understand how you feel.

At first, I felt positive to be in the group. They might be harsh to people they don't like which I can understand. A little gossips and some rantings from other people are acceptable and perfectly fine to me. I also understand things that were not triggered by one side. I do agree that they encountered some bullshits but not everything they've done were correct. I don't want to leak or tell them anything I know, because I think that's my principle. I kinda agree that they've gone too far a little but I did not want to give any suggestions and words. I felt I cannot stop them so I'd just scroll over and scan through what topics are they talking about sometimes. I put it as none of my business. I know someone mentioned that whoever was in the group are toxic, but I didn't really care. I left the group chat later and took a break for months because I felt so many negative vibes from this server. I came back when I had a better feeling, I felt everything would be a new start.

Eventually, they've gotten their punishment. I feel regardless the punishments are reasonable or not, but everything ended with a full-stop already. I believe you and I don't have to bear any of the responsibilities nor feel guilty over this. It's over. Let's accept it as past, move on and enjoy this game as we want.

To me, they are nice and friendly people. Till today, I do still take them as friends. No one is perfect, everyone does mistake. They are still nice people after all.

Cheer up!
See you in game, Monica

 

Thank you Stella, it feels much more reassuring to hear this, to hear that someone had a similar experience with them and understand why I felt so conflicted. I will move on and make new friends and experiences here, I've started to feel much better coming back because of you, Becca, and some of my friends I've reconnected with on this server. Everyone's support has meant the world to me.

It really does suck to hear "You are incorrect for feeling this way, they are such sick people." When my experiences with them are so different. Yes, I agree they did was sick and we shouldn't condone this sort of behavior, but it doesn't automatically delete my good memories of them. It made me live in shame of knowing them at times and I didn't want that feeling looming over my head. My feelings still don't change, I have accepted that because I have different experiences with them from most people, that I am allowed to feel differently, as long as I agree that what they did was not right. You and others have made realize that and I really thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

 

Well, many versions of the stories and rumors spreading everywhere. We cannot change how people think about somebody else because they judge from what they hear or know blindly. We cannot control anybody but then we don’t need to waste our time to explain or to change someone else’s mindset. But we both (and someone else) know that there are brighter and nicer sides of these people. Since it’s over, we can just ignore and believe what we see and feel.

 

hi Monica!

 

Daaaaaaaaaaang, not sure why I didn't get a notification from this. But yo, since you're the forum moderator, do you know when they will be un-banned from the forums? (I'm asking for a friend)

 

Closed by request.