Hi everyone, there's something kinda personal and sensitive I'd like to talk to you about. I hope you're okay with that. Well, you see... a lot of times I have an unexplained fear of failure. I can give an example, I started a relationship with some girl a number of days ago, and things went pretty good. I'm shy by nature, but she's fine with that and we get along fine. However, I have this fear that she will suddenly decide to end the relationship, and tell me "sorry, I don't think this will work out". The problem is, the more things look brighter and happier in the relationship, the more fearful I become of it ending. Because I really don't want to see it end, simple as that. I want it to progress and maybe one day end up with a wife and kids. Like every other man wants, of course. I'm not in it just for sex or money, I'm not greedy. But, thats one example. And the problem is, this fear also causes me to behave in strange ways sometimes, and sometimes even causes a bad impression, which ruins things. So, can someone share if they had been in a similar situation themselves? If yes, what did you do to deal with it? And even if you weren't, if you can share your point of view on this, that'd be nice. Thanks.
youre putting relationships on a pedestal. what you describe is a prime example of you valuing the idea of a relationship more than you wanting to be with her as a person and not anyone else. Im certain that even if she does break up with you if some other grill asks you out immediately after youll be super happy. i was just like u but after experiencing a relationship with someone i didnt care for and only wanted that 'i got a gf' box ticked off i made sure i didnt make that mistake again. the 'relationship' got stale in a matter of ~3 months because i didnt really like her but because she liked me i couldnt let this 'opportunity' go to waste. best solution is be happy being single & live for yourself. you have no idea how many married men wish they werent, being forced to stay with their wife because of their children. can confirm- ill be way more happy when i can bench 225 for 5 reps over having a successful date.
