How's it going everyone? I'd like to talk to you about something, if that's okay. It's nothing special, just something I'd like to get some opinions on. Well, sometimes I encounter really rude players in game and not sure how to react. I'm not the kind of player to report every little thing, that's not my style. It can be difficult to ignore, because sometimes they use really bad words and it's super offensive. Other times they piss me off by adding a different member to a party instead of me, and I am stuck alone. Like, there's different kind of rudeness. A verbal rudeness, and a behavior rudeness. So in that particular case it was a behavior one. Most of the time it's that kind of rudeness, but there's also the occasional "fuck" and "idiot" words being used. I hate hearing that, especially when I'm in a good mood and trying to focus on the gameplay. It distracts me. So uh, I just wanted to ask how does others deal with these kind of situations? Do you report or just like, ignore and move on. I have a tendency to get kinda offended right on the spot, but I get over it after a while. I'm not childish or anything, just that it can easily escalate if you don't do something.
I ignore them. Those type of people usually love attentions. The more attentions you give them, the more they want to do it. If everyone ignores them, they will go away eventually.
Ignore them, kill them with kindness or respond and recite the truth in a manner they're putting upon to you. When you're a humble person, it looks bad on them when they're being rude for no reason. Those are usually the type of people that talk about stupid things.
I don't see much of this behaviour on Royals. Ignoring is best when it happens though. If you aren't added to a party, that is not rude. That is just people choosing who to add vs who not to add. They can't make everybody happy. If they didn't choose the other player, would it be reasonable for that other player to then consider them rude for not choosing them? That seems ridiculous.
To be honest, kinda yes, it's considered rude in certain situations. It's not ridiculous, because when I was supposed to be added, and then not added in the end, that is indeed rude. It would be ridiculous if I wasn't added when I wasn't told I'm going to be. But, in the particular case I mentioned, I was told I'm going to be added but wasn't added in the end. The party entered without me, and broke the promise. That is considered rude. Maybe you wouldn't consider it as such, but you can't say its ridiculous just because you might disagree. I could say your opinion is ridiculous because I disagree with it - would it be fair to say such a thing? Of course not, because you have a right to state your opinion, like I have the same right to state mine. That's how it works. So while "rude" could be a subjective / personal opinion thing, it's normally widely agreed upon what is rude and what is not rude. Let's say, for example, that someone calls someone else an idiot. We can all agree that is rude to call somoene else an idiot, right? No one would stand up and say, that calling someone an idiot is a good thing, or not a rude thing. So when you come to me with your complaints about me being ridiculous for thinking it's rude, come to me with it with a legitimate purpose.
You hadn't made it clear that they told you they were going to add you in your original post. I responded under the assumption that they just simply didn't add you, and I assume that is clear from my post. But really, take a look back over your post. It's a very long-winded way of clarifying the situation and saying you disagreed with me, lol. Gave my partner and I a good laugh though.
You sound way too sensitive dude. I wouldn't want to party with you based on your forum posts alone. Just being honest.
@Zofran I enjoy reading your posts. Regarding this particular matter, I feel like @Ansoni's post is the one I agree mostly with. The best is always if you can settle a conflict directly with the person you're having it with, without needing to include someone else. Creating drama is rarely a good idea, but quite a lot of fun if you're that kind of person. The opposite of creating drama would be to completely ignore, but while that's quite nice, it's also not good if it you let it linger. Some things can bother you in the long run, if you never settle it (it's very different depending on what's the matter. It can be a silly one or a big one). Another issue with just ignoring is that, the offender might say "I didn't do anything wrong - he never TOLD me I was doing anything wrong". Therefore, telling him (it could be her too, but most likely him) to leave you alone is a good way of saying "This is not OK, I'm going to avoid/ignore you from now on because you're not making me feel good". Now my response here is purely general. I have no idea of what I would have done in your shoes, since I don't know what it's about.
It seems that you have a tendency to take offence to people’s responses even when they have no intention to. @Tentomon’s initial response to you was by no means to call you ridiculous, but the assumed situation. Yet, your immediate reaction is to reply defensively. Do you think that the reason you seem to encounter so many conflicts in-game and on forum could perhaps be because you misunderstand their intentions in the first place, and then to subsequently jump the gun to overreact when it was uncalled for? People in royals are generally nice. The ones that are not are easy to spot so limiting your contact with them is something in your control to cease interaction quickly, thus avoiding any conflict to begin with. Edit: As for the topic question, how I deal with a conflict that has already been stirred is to be civil regardless, don’t let pride and emotions cloud your judgement and actions. If an agreement cannot be reached, just walk away. There’s nothing to be won or lost.
Yeah, and this isn't even the first thread of this nature you've created. https://royals.ms/forum/threads/possible-hostility-between-players.130116/ The community here is mostly awesome and I think most people would agree. You seem to get into more conflicts than pretty much anybody else. At that point, you have to wonder if the problem is actually YOU. Perhaps something about your behaviour causes people to change their mind about partying with you. The best thing you could do is to just chill a bit, not take this game seriously, not worry about the language others are using (most millennials don't consider words like "fuck" and "idiot" to be offensive, so you might be best to try and ignore it), just try to be kind and helpful, distract yourself with something more positive when things don't go your way (e.g. rejected from a party or scroll fails). Also just try to really reflect on your interaction style and skills and look at how other people interact and try to model that a bit. Stuff like this is definitely a little odd, for example. It kinda sounds like you're talking as an outsider rather than an insider, if that makes sense? Or even kinda talking down to us? Combined with a little bit of paranoia, as shown by the "I hope you aren't angry or something" remark. Not sure how old you are, but when I was a teenager, I just got into endless arguments in online games and nobody really wanted to party with me. It frustrated and upset me a lot and made me think everybody was so unfair. I was like... the joke of the community... I'm quite high on the autism spectrum, so have definitely had to learn to interact in a way that didn't alienate people excessively. I'm not perfect, but I'd say I'm a lot better. I no longer have the issue of people avoiding me, I have no trouble finding people to party with and hang out with and have a good time. It's a skill that comes more naturally to some people than others, and if it doesn't come naturally to you, then it can require a LOT of self reflection, acceptance, and effort and perseverance! But it's sooo worth it when you get to a point where people view you as good company rather than something they have to tolerate. I'm almost 30 now, lol.
you dont need to depend on anyone especially if ur new work on ur own and give them a reason to want you in there party.
Sorry, so many of you have replied and can't get to every single thing you have stated. I'd like to make a few things clear, though. I think there is quite a lot of misunderstandings. In most cases where people are rude to me, or, if you like, rude to me "in my opinion" (not necessarily considered rude by a different person), I just try to ignore and not pay attention. If they continue nonstop, I would probably report, but that's very rare. Now, I don't try to be a sensitive person, but sometimes people say or do things that you can't simply ignore. That doesn't make me a sensitive person, and that doesn't make me the one causing a problem. It just means, I am not generally taking every single thing seriously, but when it gets kinda extreme, I can't be quiet about it either. I know that the previous post I made was argumentative on my part. I was thinking, you're trying to say I am always the ridiculous one and the other person is always right, or something. But whatever, forget about that, it doesn't matter now. What matters now is, we as players want to avoid a conflict with another player right? In regards to partying, I'm okay with it if someone chose someone else over me. I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression that I'm a terrible player to deal with, or party with. If that's the impression you got, then you got it all wrong. I hope that's clear. Also, other than that, I just wanted to make it clear regarding a disagreement. You can disagree and say that one thing I consider rude, is not considered rude to you, but you can't make a statement that it's not rude altogether. Simply, because, we can all agree that "rude" is a matter of opinion sometimes, but other times, it's almost always universally agreed upon - like the previous example. Let me ask you a simple question - calling someone an idiot, is that something that some people consider it as rude and others won't consider it as rude, or it's something that almost every single person would consider rude? The answer is, to me, seems to be, that everyone would consider it a rude thing, to call someone an idiot. Right? When used in a non-joking context. So, that's the only point I was trying to make, really. Regarding myself, I hope to party with all of you and continue happy and friendly forum discussions. It seems to me some of you have had a misunderstanding, and I'm confident things are much more clear to you now. I would consider it crazy, you wouldn't want to party with me because of this forum thread, for god's sake. I'm totally fine with people disagreeing with me, but remain respectful at the same time. I hope that's all clear! And yes, the initial question, how to avoid conflict with a rude player, is well understood by now.
