In the summer of last year, we learnt the hard way that picking a song you like as the music for a loved one's funeral can be a bad idea. At the time, the choice of Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water seemed like a good one to send my father-in-law off with - it's one of the very few songs that both he and my husband liked and the lyrics felt right. My husband and my son both loved the song, and I liked it and found it peaceful and moving. Problem is... my husband hasn't been able to bring himself to listen to it since and my son, who rarely shows emotion, confessed recently that the song had been ruined forever for him. It nearly broke my heart hearing him sounding so emotionally raw and sad. As for me, I was trying my best to hold myself together during the funeral so I could comfort the rest of my family, and that song nearly tipped me over the edge. I'm not sure I could listen to it now without bawling my eyes out. Since my husband and I have to remake our wills (for reasons I can't remember, lol!), it seemed like a good time to decide on what music we would have at our own funerals. My husband picked John Lennon's Imagine and (provisionally) Bear Necessities from Walt Disney's The Jungle Book. No problems with the first, as the only John Lennon song I really like is Working Class Hero and Imagine fits my husband perfectly. Not sure about the second, though!! My son and I instantly veto-ed my husband's choice of song for my funeral: Anarchy in the UK. No. Just NO. Yes, I like the Sex Pistols, but the thought of having them played at my funeral sends my brain into "will not compute" mode. Plus, I'm anti-anarchy and also I don't think it would be right to have a church full of folks with their fingers in their ears, pulling faces of disgust. Some of my favourite songs would be an epic no-no too: AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie, The Ramones' Pinhead and just about anything by Pennywise or Motorhead. Caramelldansen gets the "Hell, no" vote too, as does Sexy and I Know It. Ditto the theme tunes from Monty Python's Flying Circus, Steptoe and Son, Dr Who and Match of the Day. As for the more angsty end of my music taste, well, anything by Manic Street Preachers has to be a no, as my (younger) best friend and I used to follow them around the country on tour. I've also no plans to ruin anything by Evanescence, out of consideration for my son and my best friend. (This also rules out Metallica, Sisters of Mercy and assorted anime/visual novel/game music.) The choice of one song was easy: Berlin's Take My Breath Away (the theme from Top Gun). I love the song, but I strongly associate it with the death of my ex-boyfriend, Callum, as it came out around that time. I normally hate slow songs, but this one somehow captivates me and brings all the emotion welling up inside of me. It already has negative associations for me, so the thought of it being played at my funeral somehow doesn't depress me or put me off the song. The choice of a second song was much harder. I toyed for a while with the idea of Ladytron's Beauty*2 but the thought of choosing that as my funeral song would ruin the song for me. So, in the end, I settled for this: Dark, doom-laden and haunting, this theme brings back a lot of memories for me, but it sure as hell isn't going to spoil anyone's happy vibes associated with it. Like, how can you get happy vibes out of a theme tune about someone whose body is found in a plastic bag at the beginning of the series??!? =) Sorry for such a gloomy subject btw, but really needed to get it written down and out of my mind, now I've made my decision, so I can just forget about it. One last thought, though: is it considered acceptable for the dead to troll people? If so, this also works:
