Post your best dad jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic / Spam / Test' started by Evan, Jun 18, 2017.

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  1. Evan
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    Evan Donator

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    Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
    Because if they had 4, they'd be chicken sedans
     
    Evan, Jun 18, 2017
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  2. Charlie
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    Charlie Well-Known Member

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    Why do people scuba diving fall off the boat backwards?

    Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.
     
    Charlie, Jun 18, 2017
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  3. Evan
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    This one is my dads go-to.

    What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?
    A bagel
     
    Evan, Jun 18, 2017
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  4. SwetePete
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    Or the one everyone knows:

    "I'm _____ (tired, hungry, sad)
    "Hi _____, I'm Dad."
     
    SwetePete, Jun 18, 2017
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  5. zSmoke
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    My dad IS a joke
     
    zSmoke, Jun 18, 2017
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  6. Moose
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    What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock?
    Look dad, no hands.
     
    Moose, Jul 4, 2017
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  7. acruz34
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    Dad : I don't trust stairs....
    Kid: Why?
    They are always UP to something
     
    acruz34, Jul 6, 2017
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  8. Whalien
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    Whalien Well-Known Member

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    I bought shoes from a drug dealer once.

    I dunno what he laced em with, but I was trippin all day.
     
    Whalien, Aug 6, 2017
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  9. Tazdingo
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    2 cookies in an oven;
    Cookie 1: omg it's so hot in here
    Cookie 2: wtf a talking cookie!
     
    Tazdingo, Aug 7, 2017
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  10. Kurisutaru
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    My dad and I went to the grocery store together and the cashier asked, "Would you like your orange juice in a bag?" and he responded, "No, just leave it in the jug." ^_^'
     
    Kurisutaru, Aug 7, 2017
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    Dena, Aug 7, 2017
    #11
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    I once played hide-and-seek with my dad. To this day, I still haven't found out where he hid.
     
    Succubus, Aug 7, 2017
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  13. Kristian
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    Waiter: Are you finished with you meal?
    Me: No, I am Norwegian
     
    Kristian, Aug 7, 2017
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  14. Swanky
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    Don't settle for SHAM-poo, demand REAL poo!
     
    Swanky, Aug 7, 2017
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  15. Kristian
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    Comedian to crowd: "Are you all alright?"
    *awkward silence*
    Comedian: "No, you are all all left!"
     
    Kristian, Aug 7, 2017
    #15

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