Get it off your chest!

just realised that if a doctor tells me to take medicine, i'll take it bc i care about my health and don't want to die early

yet i won't exercise nor eat a balanced diet for the same reason and am just being a slob slowly slobbing my way to an early death anyway

 

Sigh...should I spend all this cash to bring you to the Mayday concert....

 

I have a small cock

 

NZ's final long weekend in April ends today (Monday) with ANZAC Day, and I am 'almost' ready for another exciting week
Meanwhile my housemate said he's covid positive and I have to isolate for at least 7 days

I guess I need to spend more time in royals

 

yes to mayday concert

 

when i officially quit this server i'm going to drop my most expensive shit in front of a random newbie and get them banned for rwt lol

 

Just remember to love yourself more than anyone whether it be a pet, wife, husband, grandparents or parents.
I have felt on top of the world for a few years finally in my life but in such short notice that beautiful feeling cash wash away and once you're alone then truly do you discover where you've been harsh on yourself to satisfy those around you.
Try to remember where you came from but also don't forget nobodies going to do it all for you, your future is in your own hands.
Having nobody to talk to all over again for the past 3 months has taught me just how lonely oneself can feel.
Video games are probably the core reason to as to why my gears keep grinding and my brain keeps ticking, finding purpose to desire more is hard when one feels lost within themselves.
Try to never be alone, whether it means you go to your city, go to a park, go for a drive, go for a drink or just a walk, try and find yourself in every moment, try to surround yourself by strangers it doesn't mean you have to talk or have conversation but the purpose is to feel the need to be a part of society.

Today is now May 2nd, February 2nd you tried to tell me it won't work anymore between us after 3 years together and being engaged for a year all whilst you've fucked off back to your parents halfway across the other side of the world 2 days prior you were crying in my arms, begging me to let you stay with me and not leave saying you hate to be away from me and don't want to leave my side all then for you to get back home, ignore me, don't let me know you landed safely and that you were okay, nothing not even a text.
All whilst i was stressed and worried about you and our future because you purposely went back to get yourself into temporary work until we solved visa, to finally hear back from you about being given an ultimatum that your mother thinks its smart to make you choose to either immediately come back to me and they will not support you any longer or you stay back home with your parents across the other side of the world and leave me whilst being bathed in wealth after all you told me they'll get you anything you want didn't they? a car? no problem, a new phone? no problem and the list goes on, for those 3 years did they help your eating disorder though? did they stop you from self harming? did they give you the time and attention that you were desiring because home was broken at the time with a cheating mother and a father who was never around which stemmed these health issues, daddy issue attitude and far worse? it puzzles me 3 months later as to why you think you can just give up on us out of nowhere, leave pretty much all your belongings here which are very personal priceless items too, all whilst telling me you want me to send them over to you and spend alot of money doing so whilst i remember your dad being drunken with your mother that one day spilling that he has over a million in life insurance and the house will be yours when he passes, suppose its worth leaving someone for all that isn't it? sure dodged a bullet didn't i? if there's so much money and luxury there for you why aren't you paying me to send your stuff back to you? everyday i wake up i'll see your shoes, your clothes, your coats just pretty much everything and whilst mentally i cannot forget a second about you because of this you can go about your life already hitting it up with other guys? god i can't even imagine how lucky they think they are to have you, you are a great woman really you are and im proud of your growth but you're still such a child at heart where you think drugs, alcohol and clubbing is the way of the future. i can't wait for you to read all my thoughts from every day over these past 3 months to remind you my heart never changed, my love never went away, respectfully for you i pushed myself away to let you heal, heal my ass you're back to your old ways and i feel bad for you. what a coward to have moved on and given up on us so easily by not just saying it all to my face whilst you were still here, instead you didn't even call me you texted me about it then went out and got drunk with your sad ass mother who thinks life is about luxury, getting drunk and using you, her daughter and telling her she should stay alone forever, i kept you away from that scenario for 3 years and now you're back into that bullshit all over again.
just like my father, i'm never going to love ever again all because of one person who tried to tell me im her everything and she couldn't live without me, you're doing just fine.


To anyone out there who may read this, break ups are shit for everyone, but when there is distance at play try to be considerate for one another.
Everything written above i have copied from what i recently wrote in a diary to which im sticking in one box filled with some her belongings, i hope she'll realise what she has done, i was nothing but always good towards her and helped her out of a dark place in life so here's to leave you with an important motto from my story.

Don't try to fix those who are broken, eventually they'll be fixed by your very mind and hands ready to take on the world without you and thus in the process you'll lose yourself.

 

not that it'll change anything, but no one should wait 6 months for a ban appeal. i get you're busy, but come on, 6 months?

 

Blacklist and ban appeals haven't been spicy enough someone needs to incite some more guild drama

 

all storms are temporary
they all eventually dissipate
and then sun comes in again
to brighten up your gaze

it takes a little bit of patience
self love & time
and it goes a long way

it's truthfully blissful
to enjoy life in such ways
remarkable moments
and people meant to stay

despite it being ephemeral
or often bittersweet
it's wonderful too
and I want to drip myself in it.

 

me: i want people to talk to

me when people talk to me: why the fuck are you talking to me

 

keep in mind that game can be an escape from reality but it will never replace reality. you still have to face the shits that you've done eventually.

 

knees weak arms heavy mom's spaghetti

 

I got covid in the middle of exam week.

How fun.

 

nothing but respect for you, my friend. take care

 

Just learned shads main attacking skill assasinate bypasses damage reflect meanwhile bowmaster hurricane is an insta suicide...balanced

 

just use as mule np

 

its pretty cool to see how an event can bring so many smiles to the players, props to the royals team on building such well rounded events and to the players for taking it so serious