Get it off your chest!

So. Friggin'. Nervous.

 

Err... That was not intended.

 

When you're wrong at least just stop talking and continuing to badger me while trying to make me kiss your ass. Just because I'm obligated to pay you back, doesn't mean you can treat me like trash like you always do. How am I supposed to be grateful when you only remind me of how bad a person I am and you're always negative? But, it is not I who is wrong. It's you. It is not that I think I'm right, it's that you make yourself wrong, which in turn makes me right. You don't realize your own mistakes, and you blame others for you misfortune, you're one of the worst people I know, but I am indebted to you.

 

The worst part about being strong is that no one ever asks if you're ok. :/

 

Flashing
lights

 

I've done some fucked up things this summer. I can't say that I haven't changed because if I didn't I wouldn't have done it. You're still the love of my soul, and I regret the choices I made. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I will forever be in your debt.

 

I'm so scared right now I'm really really fucking scared.

 

Everything is perfect.

 

Don't doubt me, I usually know what I'm talking about. This is one of the few things I'm really good at.

 

I can't believe you're really gone, you were a great friend and an amazing person. Gone too soon.

 

Not enough time... We simply didn't have enough time. Maybe next time...

 

Seeing that I'm no longer the thing you depend on, makes me happy.
I can't help but admit that I'm a bit jealous you went out of your to go see her [strike=in California]in California[/strike]. It seemed like you both had a good time with one another and I can only envy the feeling of solidity.

Lately things just feel so unbalanced and out-of-place. I don't know what I'm doing anymore and find myself, more than often, contemplating how far I'm willing to go for people that aren't even willing to do the same for me.

You're starting to become more and more distant from me.

 

I'm sorry you cheated.

I'm sorry that i alone wasn't enough for you.
I'm sorry that the roses i bought for you everyday made you unhappy.
I'm sorry for wanting to hear your voice before i fall asleep.
I'm sorry for taking you out to try different restaurants.
I'm sorry for trying to be romantic.
I'm sorry for going hiking and going on road trips with you.
I'm sorry for cheering you up whenever you were sad.
I'm sorry for waiting for when you were ready.
I'm sorry for all the anniversary presents and surprises.
I'm sorry for not being able to make you as happy as he does.
I'm sorry for loving you.

^Those were the thoughts I had when you left.
But now I can't help but feel sorry for myself, because everything makes sense now and I can't believe I stuck with your bullshit for 5 years. I can't believe I was just another fool you played.

 

That was my cry for help. Glad you took me seriously. Don't worry, won't happen again.

 

I feel like I've got everything I need in life but one thing. I know it seems selfish, but I would trade almost anything else I have for it and worried it may never come.

 

After 8 months of struggling to keep our relationship going, I just couldn't take it anymore. Why couldn't you just chill the fuck out and let me handle my responsibilities? You don't own me. If I can't make it to your place, then it's for a good fucking reason. Like, I donno, maybe because I had a job to do? A home life to take care of? Instead you flip out on me and get irrational like a damn child that gets told, "No.". You have the nerve to snoop through my phone, looking for anything remotely incriminating, to call ME selfish like I don't give a fuck about anyone but me, go emotionally haywire and expect me to just take it with a fucking smile on my face?! I don't fucking think so. I think that's pretty selfish of you to put all of that on me. It's not my job to fill in the voids you have. I'm sorry I didn't fit your idealistic expectations of how a relationship works. It's not my job to tip-toe around your emotions and try to cover my tracks because I know... I fucking know that any little thing that doesn't "fit" with how you expect it to be will just set you off to guilt trip me and emotionally blackmail me. I ain't putting up with any bullshit. No one should. Not even your high maintenance ass. Not everything is going to happen how you want it to. That's fucking life for you. I'm not gonna fix you, nor should I have to. You have to fix yourself. As do I. And I have been trying. It's one thing to lend a hand if you need help, but I'm not fucking doing it for you. That's just lazy. Learn to deal with what life throws at you, how else will you learn how the real world works?

 

After all you've done to me, you even dare to come back to me and talk to me? I gave you everything I could give you, my knowledge, my time, even some of my possessions and money, just to help you. You used me and guilt tripped me over and over, until I stopped accepting your bullshit. And now you're back and think I'll fall for it again? You fucking idiot. Go rot in hell. Go and find some other victim and I hope that person will notice how terrible you are quicker than I did and do something about it.

 

Green hair makes me feel like you want to look like a plant.

 

I honestly don't know if it's going to happen anymore. I worry that I won't have enough by the end of this month and I really, really, (sappiness overload) just want to have the chance to hold your hand in the warmth of your jacket pocket again.
I especially like being able to tackle you when you tease me.

I miss my cuddle buddy.

 

I don't like lying to you about goes on in my relationship. I'm finally happy for once thanks to him and I just wish you were more accepting and understanding of it all.