Get it off your chest!

I just lost my job this week, i've been stressing myself half to death for over a year straight and i feel unwanted by everyone in my life.. that's the gist of it i guess

 

I finally sat down and explained my genderqueer-ness to my dad and he basically went on a rant of how he doesn't want me foreveralone. It brought up... feelings. Feelings that I usually lock away. feelings of wanting a relationship. The same feelings I had confessed to you back when you weren't ready to be in a relationship since you had just gotten out of one with Gemma and were dealing with Ro. Those feelings. The same ones I locked away and tried to forget when you and Cecily happened. If it wasn't for shit luck, I'd have no luck at all.

And you're still in that relationship, the remnants of it anyway. That's why I'm not making any moves or even acting on them. That's why I locked them away.
You understand, but it sucks, It sucks horribly. You are sorry, It's not your fault.
I've had plenty of guy friends growing up, but I've never had a relationship. I've had what you would call "crushes" and when I'd go to act on them, as usual, I'd be too late

I just don't want to be alone; you're kind, funny, caring, sensitive. You're a good guy.
That's the appeal, I can trust you, you don't act like a jackass and restrict my invidividuality or freedom.
I'm 20 years old. I've not experienced one relationship
I'm 20 years old, and I haven't even been on a date with a guy.
my cousins are 5-6 years older than me and getting married.
I just feel like I'm never going to find someone

How many times and I going to have to lock these feelings away? The first time was my fault. I shouldn't have dismissed them. The second and third times though, what happened to the "possibility of us"? I disappear for finals and I come back to you and you have another girlfriend.

I personally just want to find someone that I can trust, who has my back, will let me still have my freedom, stays loyal to me, and can respect me as a person. Romance is not necessary, affection is shown through the actions they do daily, not through how many times they can hug or kiss me and say "i love you". To me affection and romance are things like making me breakfast or turning off the light if I fall asleep on the couch. simple things to let me know they care.

I just want to find someone I can trust with my life and know has my back.

 

People should know there role and shut there mouth!

 

Their*

 

Grammar is important.
Stop dismissing the importance of correct spelling and punctuation.

 

You're missing a comma.

 

Ok please keep this on topic or I'll have to start deleting posts.

 

Idiots.

 

Stop kissing ass dumb jabronis

 

Please learn to organize zak runs where you don't end up with an excess of attackers you just chuck to the side without HS/SE when you know damn well they're doing it for the EXP.

Also, being higher leveled does not give you "the right to main party".

Fucking manners, people.

 

I gave and did all i could for everyone why do you guys have to give me something like this in return what have i done to deserve this backstab. Y are you all salty about it i am not even stealing your job. For all those mistake you all did, i cover up and make it right. Y do you do that to me? I am so heart broken but i swear i will not swoop down to as low as all of you i will not. Leave me alone for the next 2 mths i will leave when the time comes.

Ps: Suddenly you guys made me hate my life so much.

 

It's 2am on a Tuesday morning... is it truly necessary to stand outside of my window with your friends and talk over eachother as loudly as possible?

 

No.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH REPHRASING YOU DO, the same question of "how long until you play with my junk?" is not an acceptable 2nd date question.
*facepalm*

 

Will I ever be good enough to be your equal?

 

Who knew deleting someone off your phone could be so effective?
Thanks for the tip, pal. I've moved on.

 

Grrr.. Can't believe I left my leather jacket at school yesterday...and I noticed today. D: Hopefully someone kept it in their locker for me.

 

People would despise me if they knew who I really was as a person. Time to just realise that. I can't see it being a problem though because I'm good at disguising it. And no, I don't want to change.

 

Im at work and i really need to poo omfg only one here so i cant leave

 

Just because I am the only non-black person in this program please do not ONLY assign ME clients who are non-black. Give everyone else the chance to work on a client with different textured hair.
Everyone complains. I complain too. it honestly isn't fair to them. Let them learn too.