Get it off your chest!

Fuck the god damned day i told u to be part of my life. And fuck myself to not having enough courage to make u go.

 

Love me some bias in the morning.

 

Third time's the charm...right?
Edit: unrelated to anything else posted in this thread. Just personal stuff.

 

Should rename this thread: no context ranting.

They slashed my hours. I slashed their cheese wheel in the fridge (it was an unofficial group therapy exercise).

 

I'm trying to get some work done, not flirt with you.
Don't play "hard to get" when all I need for you is to fill out the goddamn information and get your shit together on time.
I should send you a pack of band-aids for all the sick burns you'll be receiving from me. (Keep it up, buddy.)

 

How can I miss somebody I didn't even know on a personal level?
Godspeed, you magnificent bastard...

 

Where to begin on this...
To person #1: how DARE you. You left me and now expect me to be okay with that? You think that I was ready? Well, I am not. I still need you I still need to hear your voice, your advice, and your warmth. How can you expect me to continue when you dropped my like that.
To person #2: You want to talk... okay well here let's talk. But I will go first, you lied to me then used me BY LYING TO ME. You put my life in danger and then proceeded to think I am still your best friend. Well let me tell you, I learned. I grew up and you...? You stayed behind and did drugs, got arrested, put mine and others lives in danger, and used me to do with as you wanted and then threw me away when I wasn't good enough for you anymore. Well, while you were arrested, I became a woman. I became someone who I could look up to, not the person who you knew. I went forward not back. I will not let you drag me down to your murky depths.
To person #3: All there is to say is.... FUCK YOU!!
To person #4: Thank you so much for your gratitude! I can really feel it when your gambling takes all of your money then you proceed to ask me for money for YOUR bills. I love you so much but you can't expect me to feel loved by you when everytime I turn around you ask me for money to fix your problems. You are -- years old now, it's time to put you big boy pants on and grow a pair.
To the distance... Why? Why can't I be with him and not feel like my heart is dying. I miss him and yet I talk to him everyday.
Oh and one more thing... To my "family" how do I tell you that I don't fit in your little box of female, straight, good mannered lady... NEWS FLASH I AM DIFFERENT BE NOT AFRAID. Yeah I am a bi gendered, bisexual, foul mouthed, misbehaved(while be having so so good) person. You can't accept me for who I am, then expect me to be happy about it? How dare you sit there on your religious high horse. Get down here in the mud, get your head out of your ass and smell the bullshit. This is life and the moment you start accepting and MAYBE just maybe changing the view of how you should chose to love then you will realize, I am still lovable. I still want to be held and told that I am wanted. I still want to know that someone cares. Then I may be able to be around you and not scared for my life, anxious that you will try to kill me (literally). Please remember that your hate killed one family member already. I don't think you want that on your conscience times two. -sigh- please love me... that is all I want.

 

Just because I am failing doesn't mean I am not trying... Believe me I am, and it's killing me.

 

Since it had been a while since I last stepped in to a casino, I thought I'd go today to play some cash games for two purposes

1) Make money 2) Get used to playing live (in casino environment) again

Lost 2 buyins, which I'm not bothered about. But omg my eyes fucking suck I completely forgot about the person to my direct right and bet in front of him, causing him to fold -.-

Not that it mattered to me since I lost the showdown but still

WHATS MORE ANNOYING IS THAT AFTER STEPPING OUT I REALISED I CANT GRIND BACK UP BECAUSE I VOLUNTARILY EXCLUDED MYSELF FROM PLAYING FOR 6 MONTHS AND ITS IRREVERSIBLE OMFG FML. Now I only have 34 buyins for when I play on my summer holiday;;

gg.

 

I don't think you care about me anymore.
Honestly ever since that person has showed up, you started spending more time with that person and cared less about me. I don't mind that you spend a lot of time with that person but I just feel like you really don't care about me anymore.
You always do the same thing when someone new shows up in your life.

And I just want to say that I care about you very much. And when I say something, you think I'm thinking the opposite.
That is very hurtful.

 

I want to see more stealing from the rich and giving to the poor.
Organized crime the dream

 

Take me up and ship me out.
I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't care.
I can't see.
Please take this pain away from me.

 

I know you like to do things the old-fashioned way, but I really wish you'd message me on facebook (you're on there and chatting almost every day) to chat about stuff instead of sending me handwritten letters. It takes me longer to decipher your handwriting than it takes you to write me a letter T_T

 

+5 godly...

 

Why the fuck am I still playing this game?

 

I love my bed.
My bed makes me have dreams about girls.
I'm about to cheat on my bed, despite that my bed never cheats on me.
I love my bed.

 

come back
):

 

Am i even human

 

why do i waste my potential, disappointing myself time and time again due to carelessness

 

Why do I sit here and draw out the inevitable... I know what I have to do... I know what I need to do, and yet I continue. I go through the motions, and break my own heart again and again, just knowing I have to do it.