Get it off your chest!

just finished season 3 of bojack horseman, in desperate need of a hug right now, it's just too applicable to my own situation.

 

Weeks can go by without a thought of you, and then during a bike ride or walking in the woods I turn towards you and I realize that you are not there. You will never be there again. And that realization breaks my heart every time. I miss you I miss you I miss you, I never thought I'd have to go on without you.

 

8 o's the real deal.
9 o's faker shit

 

I still find it hard to believe but it has become reality, as I never imagined this to happen to me at the age of 24, I am no longer an only child as of today.

 

i wake up in the morning. i text my friends. i go to work. i smile and nod and do what i do. i return home. some days, i go back out. some days i relax on the computer and unwind. i make jokes, i do tricks with my fellow candlesticks. i do my best to make everyone smile. i play this game, do that thing. everything is normal

i turn off the computer. i return home. i'm an addict. i decide tonight i dont need my fix. i brush my teeth. i lay in bed. my mind races. i cant sleep. thoughts swirl through my brain. i want to kill myself. im afraid.

i get out of bed. i find alcohol. i drink.

the night gets fuzzy. the pain goes away. i dont know when i fall asleep. when i do, the nightmares begin. i dream of drinking acid. i dream of awful things. i wake up. im sweating. i get out of bed. i find another drink. i sleep again.

i wake up in the morning. im ashamed of who i am. i text my friends. i go to work. i smile and nod and do what i do. i return home. i look at my phone. i think about telling someone who i am.

i dont.

tonight, i get it off my chest.

im sorry

 

When you try to call a company's phone number at 3pm on a friday and the call auto hangs up with the reason that you can only call them between 9am and 5pm.
Since when is 3pm not between 9am and 5pm .

 

That moment when you get fired from a job you actually enjoyed. Feetle position activated.

 

im in very much trouble and if my parents find out im screwed

 

Ok so, here's what I don't understand; you have been through stuff, you very well know every person has a whole entire story behind them that most people don't even know, so how can you go assuming you know someone over one story?
Not only have you not heard both sides of the story, but even if what you heard was completely 100% true and unbiased that does not, under any circumstances, mean that you know everything about that person and who they are.
You know (gossip) about one thing they did, that does not mean you know the way they think, the way they feel, their values or their intentions, so how can you pass judgment and say they're a bad person?
I just don't really understand this at all, especially coming from you.

 

Dealing with a very disrespectful person and trying so hard to not pop off.

 

What am I even doing?

Sorry.

 

To wish for your own happiness is sometimes coupled with another person’s unhappiness. Happiness is such an ugly and selfish thing - forgive me for chasing it.

You're running out of time, so you have to make your decisions quickly. But I can't move on like you have, and I really don't know how to give up. It's driving me insane.

 

I am so freaking terrified and excited and terrified and terrified I'm really really terrified ahh

 

Knee injuries, operated in both now my left shoulder has issues, WHYYYYY.

 

I'm only laughing on the outside
My smile is just skin deep
If you could see inside
I'm really crying
You might join me for a weep
-exits laughing-

 

time flies, much fun is had
before you know it,
youth has ended and now you're lost.


edit: i hate growing up
someone hand me a valium

 

Oh for fucks sake, when you fucking set a deadline, stop fucking delaying the deadline and wasting my time. You're a fucking CEO and what you're doing is god damn unprofessional holy shit. I'm being as patient as I can but it's been a whole god damn week and I don't have all fucking year to wait for you. I'm on the verge of calling you an asshat but that'd throw away my chances but holy fuck you piss me the fuck off. Last Tuesday, you said you'd let me know on Friday and I wait until fucking Sunday without any update from you and I had to email you and you said you'll update me on MONDAY AFTERNOON BUT NOW IT'S FUCKING TUESDAY MORNING FOR YOU GOD DAM . Argh seriously. I have a lot of patience but you're trying to test me. This shit is getting ridiculous. I wonder if you make your clients wait like you make me wait. Fucking bothersome.

 

forced to decide your future so young
thousands in debt
no fun.

 

You want a relationship? Someone to hold you and take care of you?
Go out and find it in the real world, not here. This is an escape, not reality.
Sorry for being blunt but can't let you think this will lead to something.
Long distance relationship doesn't exist.

 

I remember I used to be really outgoing.
Until you broke my heart.
I asked you a few weeks before if you would leave me, you said no.
In the end, you left.
Been trying to move on, but a part of me still remains with you.
My trust, love and respect invested into you.
You destroyed all of them, except my memory of you.
Oh how I really wish I remember how I was outgoing.
And how I can revert back to that state, before I met you.
I hate myself for being so weak and sentimental.
Not sure how long I can take the pain of everything that is going on.
Before I submit.
Everything seems to go wrong these days.
I want to accomplish my goals.
But I am running out of strength to carry on.
Really tired of worrying about everything.
But in the end, no one cares.
Sigh.