Tell me a joke win some money

Old enough to count, old enough to mount

 

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?

Spoiler

Fo' Drizzle

 

What website do siamese twins use?

Spoiler

Face-face book

 

Where do you cool a hair pie?

Spoiler

the vagisil

 

So the other day, right, one of my students was getting ready for school. She was a bit late though, and afraid she was going to miss the bus, she was rushing quite a bit. She accidentally stepped on her sister's foot on the way out and her sister said, "Ouch, mitosis!"

 

A woman and her daughter were on their way home from spending the day out, when the lil girl spotted a couple through their apartment window, fucking. The girl pointed it out to her mum and said 'Mummy what are they doing?' amidst the moans and gyrating.

The mum quickly tried to take her attention away from the couple, and hastily replied

'Oh! Er.. they're making cakes, let's hurry home though.'

Confused, the little girl said

'Oh okay!',

and skipped and smiled her way home with her mum.

Later that night, during her sleep, the young girl woke up in need of a drink and thought she'd go downstairs and grab one really quick before heading back to sleep. She was on her way down to the kitchen when she heard some funny noises coming from the living room. Scared, she began to tip-toe downstairs and got close enough to peer through the banister to see what the noise was. Her fear soon turned to happiness and excitement, and she forgot about her drink and tip-toed back to her room...

The next morning, the girl ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to find her mum preparing some breakfast.

'Mummy! I saw you and daddy making cakes last night!'

The mother stopped what she was doing to turn around,

'Huh what?' She replied bewildered. 'That's crazy! Where did you get that from?!'

'But it's true mummy, come and look!'

The girl grabbed her mum's arm and dragged her to the living room.

'Look mummy you were making cakes right here! I even licked the icing off the sofa!'

 

My life.

 

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick.

Q: What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A: A brick going really really really fast.